Down the Same Path
by everythingisok
Summary: What happens when Christian finds out Phoebe is heading down a dangerous path? What will happen when he finds out his only daughter is quietly suffering? What will happen when his long lost love Ana returns? Will he fight for her? Will he give Phoebe the happy family she always wanted? Sorry, I suck at summaries, give it a try. Slightly darker story. AU. HEA. Multiple POV.
1. Chapter 1

Down the Same Path 1

 **BACKGROUND INFO:**

 **Phoebe is 17, Christian is 39 (Leila had Phoebe with Christian when they were both 22, but she kept Phoebe a secret. Christian didn't find out about Phoebe until Leila committed suicide when Phoebe was barely two) Christian broke up with Ana 15 years ago, when they were both 24. But be assured, Ana WILL reappear into their lives. This story is AU and Grace as well as the rest of the Grey family lives in Ohio, that's also where Christian grew up but now CG is living in Seattle with Phoebe.**

 **Chapter 1-Somewhere Over the Rainbow**

 _Some place where there isn't any trouble. Do you suppose there is such a place, Toto? There must be. It's not a place you can get by boat or train. It's far, far away, behind the moon, beyond the rain._

 _-Dorothy from Wizard of Oz_

 **Christian:**

Phoebe winces as she sits down for dinner and I quickly allow my eyes to scan her over for any tell-tale signs of injuries.

"Phoebe," I say, getting her attention. "Are you ok?"

Two porpoise grey eyes stare back at me as she quickly blinks, looking away. "Um…yeah…why do you ask?" she stammers, diverting her attention back to hesitantly twisting her pasta. Phoebe was always a quiet kid, which I was grateful for. She mostly kept to herself, making it impossible to know what was going on in that crazy, smart mind of hers, but tonight her grey eyes told me that she was lying.

"Phoebe, don't lie to me." I admonish, raising a single brow.

"Dad! It's fine. I just got knocked down during kick-boxing." _Lying._

My fork freezes mid-air as I still, the all too familiar excuse re-playing in my head. It wasn't that her excuse wasn't plausible, people often got hurt in kickboxing. But that was _my_ excuse. _My_ excuse I used with Grace when I couldn't sit because of the cane welts blossoming down my back. I shake my head. There was no way my 17-year-old daughter could be into BDSM. _But how would you know, Grey? This is the first time you ate dinner with her in two-weeks._ My subconscious snarls at me and I try not to let the usual guilt bite me. I am no good for a child, that's why I have Gail and Taylor. Gail has always been the mother hen around here and I'm sure Taylor occasionally filled in that fatherly role when he had the time. It's not that I don't like Phoebe, quite the contrary, I love my baby girl. It's just why would I hold a crying toddler when all I needed to do was hand her over to someone else in order for her to be happy?

But now, after seeing her wince, I doubt if she could even consider me as her dad. _How is it possible that I didn't notice this before? Surely this is something new?_ She winced and I knew, I knew that wince all too well—the way she gritted her teeth as her butt made contact with the chair, the way she carefully shifted her weight, the way she kept her body completely rigid as to not cause stress on what I'm assuming is a cane welt.

My knuckles turn white as tighten my grip on the porcelain white bowl and I briefly entertain the possibilities of it cracking. Phoebe is barely 17. Who would do this to such a young girl? Elena immediately comes to mind, but I quickly dismiss her. Elena was into young boys, not girls.

Phoebe finishes dinner and scurries upstairs while biting her lip which further confirmed my suspension that she was hiding something.

I sigh as I watch her shadow disappear into her own room. She probably has a shit-ton of homework considering all of her classes were AP. I smile at the thought; my daughter is extremely intelligent. Gail comes in to clean off my plate but I motion for her to sit instead. _I am going to find out what the hell happened to my Phoebe._

She said she was fine, but only I knew how much could be told with the word _fine._ We always say I'm _fine_ when we are anything but _fine._

Gail's warm brown eyes crinkle as she smiles her big, bright smile and I hesitate. Gail always looked out for Phoebe as a mother would a child considering Leila killed herself when Phoebe was barely two and Grace still lived in Ohio with Elliot and Mia, but Gail (and Taylor) took exceptional care over my baby girl. Time has slowly morphed us into family.

"Gail." I pause, choosing my words carefully. "Have you noticed anything unusual about Phoebe lately?" I ask and Gail´s caramel eyes widen.

Finally, she sighs. "Permission to speak freely, sir?" she asks.

"Of course, you know this Gail." I say, slightly frowning.

Gail casts a worried glance in the direction of Phoebe's room. "Well…about a month ago…" Gail pauses to think "Yes, about a month ago…Phoebe became really quite." Gail says, mimicking my frown.

"But I brushed it off, thinking that it's just something with school and plus our Phoebe was never much of a talker so I didn't think much of it." Gail continues and I nod, indicating that I understood.

"But…now that you mentioned it, Phoebe does seem abnormally quiet. She won't even tell me how her day went and..." hurt swam around Gail's eyes but I urge her to go on.

"And…Phoebe…well…" Gail seems apprehensive to continue.

"It's ok, Gail, what is it?" I ask, keeping my voice soft.

"Well…Phoebe seems to be avoiding you, Sir." Gail admits and I raise my eyebrows in surprise.

"How so?" I ask, intrigued.

"Well…usually when you come back from a business trip or something, Phoebe would always come rushing to greet you and she always asked about you. Mr. Grey, you might not see this but Phoebe has always adored you although she's much too stubborn to admit it." Gail confesses and I am stunned into silence. A small smile plays by Gail's lips but her face quickly falls again.

"But lately she hasn't mention you at all." Gail says, looking guilty and I furrow my eyebrows. It's not like I expect my daughter to talk about me. Gail goes on "Every time I bring up something about you, Phoebe will always change the subject."

Silence ensures our conversation as I think, pouring myself a glass of whiskey. I didn't do anything recently that could have upset Phoebe and how does this all tie in with her wincing?

"I see." I finally say, continuing the silence for a couple of moments. "Has Phoebe been going to any…um… _strange_ places lately?" I ask again, hoping to gain more insight.

When Phoebe was little and in her early teens, I always had a body guard following her until one day, she spotted him and threw the world's biggest tantrum, stating that all of my "Concerns for her safety" were complete bullshit so after a tremendous argument, we compromised. I wouldn't have someone following her if she took up kickboxing and kept her phone with her at all times, which included reporting all of her activities with Gail. One thing about Phoebe was that what Phoebe wanted, Phoebe got. She's even more stubborn than me, if such a thing were possible.

Gail scrunches up her forehead, the well-worn creases showing as she thinks about my question. "Not that I can think of Mr. Grey, although she does go to the Library every Wednesday night, she says she's working on a project with a friend." Gail answers as I make a mental note to myself to check out this "friend".

"That's all Gail, Thank you." I say, politely, and actually help her clear the table.

Just as I was about to turn and exit the Kitchen. Gail calls to me. "Mr. Grey?"

"Yes?" I say, turning back.

Gail has that motherly smile spread across her face "You should spend more time with Phoebe, I know she misses and cares about you. She's going to Princeton next year and your time with her is precious." And with that, Gail skittles out of the kitchen, leaving me to my own brooding thoughts.

 **Phoebe:**

I am doing my homework on the floor, tummy facing down. My butt hurts. I cringe at the thought of having to take a hot shower tonight.

I hear a light knock on my door, and assuming it's Gail, I call: "Come in."

But instead of Gail's rounded figure and kind eyes, Dad steps in. I immediately scowl, not being able to rid the pictures that Jack had shown me out of my head. _I can't believe dad's a sadist._ I quickly shake the thought out of my head and involuntarily rub my butt. Dad enjoys doing what Jack does to me, although his women were most likely voluntarily. I refuse to believe that dad will hold anybody against their will.

I remember when I was little, I really wanted Dad's attention but I was afraid he'll get mad even though he never even gave me a reason to believe that he'll so much as yell at me. Dad was always very gentle with me from the very few memories I had of him playing with me as a little kid. But I used to sit by his office door, afraid to disturb him, listening to him make phone call after phone call to India to make anounomus donations in order to feed the starving children. He always said that food was a basic need, not a privilege. I didn't understand how my dad who was so concerned about feeding the world's poor matched the sadist in those pictures.

Dad seems to take note of my scowl and sitting position but he doesn't say anything as he crouches down by my side, tucking away a loose strand of hair. "You ok, sweet pea?" he asks, I couldn't help but crack a smile at my childhood nickname.

"Yeah." I whisper even though I'm lying. The hard thing about being strong was that nobody cared enough to ask if you were hurt. But dad still seemed to care although he wouldn't understand how I was hurting. I'm glad I was able to kept the bruises and welts hidden from him.

Dad stares into my eyes, grey matching grey. "You seem tired, sick even." He observes, putting away my HW without my permission. I roll my eyes as dad narrows his. He hates disrespect but he doesn't mention it.

"Come, you look like you could use a good night's sleep." He says, swiftly pulling back my covers and the soft duvets look so comfy that I couldn't resist as I crawled in. My abused body relishing in the comfort of my bed.

Dad sits by my bed, his gaze searching for something although I don't know what. I don't think I wince when I sat down on the bed or did I?

Dad continues to brush away some of my messy copper hair. I'm practically a carbon copy of my father, everything from my copper hair to grey eyes matches his. I wonder which one my mom was in those pictures, or maybe she wasn't his submissive. Maybe he loved her very much and after she died, he took up BDSM because he couldn't cope. That was possible, right?

"How about you stay home tomorrow, you look like you need to rest." Dad says, stroking my hair. His touch feels good, comforting even and I can't help but wonder if he has ever comforted any of those subs in the pictures. Or did he simply skip aftercare like Jack does with me?

"Ok." I agree, too tired to argue and Dad smiles, tucking the covers snuggly around me. "Try to get some sleep, sweet pea. I'll be in my study if you need anything."

I try to muster a small smile at him. This is the dad I know, kind and caring although sometimes distance. I know he has nightmares and he refuses to have someone sit with him when he does, choosing to keep everyone at arm's length. I remember one of his nightmares vividly. I was five and when Taylor had finally woken him, silly, five-year-old me tried to run and give him a hug because I didn't know what else to do, but he pushed me away, holding out his hand and ordering me to return back to bed immediately. I wish he could sleep better, but I am starting to slowly understand his nightmares. Jack is starting to scare me and I have woken up in a cold sweat several times, thank god I don't scream.

I wish Dad will play me a song like he did when I was little so I would sleep better even though I could play for myself. But nobody's piano skill ever came quite as close with dad's. I was always fascinated with the way his deft fingers moved over the black and white keys, producing the most soulful music. Dad played with his heart and it was absolutely beautiful. He learned almost the full Disney song album for me when I was little.

"Can you play for me?" I blurt out without thinking. Dad didn't have time to hide the shocked expression that took over his face but quickly composes himself. "The piano?" he asks, his voice is a little bit gruff and I feel myself cowering.

"You don't have to…never mind, forget I've ever said such a thing." I murmur to myself, embarrassed and cast my eyes down.

I feel strong arms wrapping around me and hear dad's deep but soft voice. "no, no, no, Phoebe, I'm not mad, you just caught me by surprise. Come, you'll have to help me to think of something to play though. The last time I played for you, you were probably eight and I don't think I remember how to play _Let it go_ anymore _._ Dad chuckles at the memory, I was obsessed with frozen when I was little and Elsa captivated me, the way she sacrificed herself to keep everyone safe, she reminds me of dad.

I congratulate myself on not wincing as I walk down the stairs and gingerly sit down on the piano bench as dad brings out an old box and starts to leaf through some yellow sheets of music due to age.

"These are all princess songs and no offense but I think you've outgrown them." Dad says, shaking his head.

"Hey, everybody likes a happy ending." I protest, _although not everyone gets one._

Dad smiles his sad smile, his grey eyes crinkling. "Yes, I suppose you're right." He says, pulling out some new sheets of music from a file box.

"Happy ending it is then." he says, holding up a sheet of music to me and I nod, not caring what he plays as long as he plays.

Dad settles himself next to me, his fingers resting lightly upon the keys. "Are you sure you're ok, Phoebe, you know you can come talk to me about anything right?" he asks, being careful and I quickly nod, trying to not let my tears gathered by my eyes fall at how much he cares. Perhaps he does love me…

My face blooms into a big, wide smile when I hear the familiar, happy music float around me and soon dad's deep voice is joining the soft melody.

 _Somewhere over the rainbow Way up high And the dream that you dreamed up Once in a lullaby_

I catch myself singing along with dad, our voices complimenting each other's.

 _Someday I'll wish upon a star Wake up where the clouds Are far behind me Where trouble melts like Lemon drops High above the chimney tops That's where You'll find me_

The calming sound of the lullaby seeps through the walls of our penthouse and my eyes are starting to drift close as dad starts playing another piece, merging the two sheets of music together. My eyes are so heavy and I try really hard to keep them open...My head falls onto Dad's shoulder, a place I don't usually lean on, but I just don't have the strength…

I hear a hushed tone speak by my ear. "Sleep, baby." And I feel his hands slipping underneath me as he starts to carry me up the stairs. God, I'm like so heavy, how can he still lift me as if I weighed nothing?

"Dad…I'm 17…I can walk." I mutter in protest. Dad rolls his eyes. "Yes, and you are also stubborn, just sleep. Everything's going to be ok." I don't question how he ever knew something was wrong.

Soon, I find myself skipping down the yellow brick road in my dream, going somewhere safe and soundlike a special place _over the rainbow._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 3-Hurt**

 _Everything's going to be alright, maybe not today, but eventually._

 **Christian:**

Phoebe was hurt. I am sure of it. My tough, smart-mouthed, little girl seemed resigned tonight, surrendering to whatever pain she felt. She was always so _strong,_ but tonight her grey eyes burned bright with vulnerability. I feel a lump forming by my throat when I think back to the way she flinched when I slipped a hand underneath her to carry her up. Of course, she tried to hide her wince earlier on tonight, but my eyes are attuned to her slightest of movements and my heart broke when she asked if I could play for her. It was like she was expecting me to flip out and beat her. I have never corporally punished Phoebe, sure I have grounded her from time to time, but that wouldn't cause her to be afraid of me, would it? There was no way she could know about the club I occasionally went to; I was always super discreet. What is it she's scared of?

Phoebe was scared of me, although she eventually leaned on me and I let a smile grace my lips as I think about how her face lit up when I played _Somewhere over the Rainbow._ How such a simple, child's song could make her so happy. I hum the tune lightly to myself as I stand by her doorway, watching her sleep for a couple of moments. It's a damn miracle that my child turned out so well considering her father. She looks like me, but inside, she was all Leila. They had the same bright, sometimes mischievous smile and she was sensitive like Leila, always considering everyone else's feelings above herself. I ball my fist up when I think about how Leila's husband John abused her. She never told me she had a baby, probably because I would flip the fuck out. And one day, I guess she just got too tired from all the abuse and jumped off a bridge. The policemen told me that Leila had tried protect her daughter, but that bastard bruised Phoebe as well. I wanted to shout and yell at her. Sure, our relationship was strictly professional, but did she really think I would just stand by and watch if I knew she and my child were being abused? I'm not _all_ that bad, am I?

I decide to give it a rest and go to bed, tomorrow I will find out who the hell hurt _my_ Phoebe. My brain has been rehearsing every single scenario of what she could do after school, but nothing seems to raise a red flag except for this friend she mentioned at the library. She knew that she could work from our library at home right? And she could always purchase whatever books I didn't have in there. So why the hell would she need to go to the local library and risk the paparazzi?

I needed to come up with a plan. I can't force her to tell me, that would only shut her out further. I sigh, if I can't find out what happened to Phoebe within next week, I'm going to have to ask Gail to check Phoebe over for bruises as well as welts and I know for a fact that they both wouldn't like that. But what other choice did I have?

I toss and turn in a restless sleep, images of Phoebe's wince swimming in my brain. Why? How the fuck could I let this happen? I wish Ana was here, she would know how to cope with this stuff but of course I fucked up our relationship 15 years ago. I hug Ana's old pillow that's now devoid of her feminine scent and hope that maybe I can dream of her.

~*~*~(morning)

I groan when the nasty alarm blared in my ears, grabbing my black hoodie and grey sweatpants instead of Ana's favorite grey suit and tie. Gail's at her sister's so I set out oatmeal for Phoebe's breakfast and quickly write her a note, explaining that I won't be home today.

The brisk, cold, winter air nips at my neck as I step out and instead of heading straight for GEH, I roam around aimlessly in the streets of Seattle, observing the everyday, busy pedestrians and wondering how many of the guys have daughters or the daughters-father, the mothers-lovers or the lovers-partners. I pass the familiar, teal colored, five story apartment and gaze into the second story window. This was Ana's old apartment, but now it's vacant-all signs of her erased. I sigh, what's good is it to ponder about the past? I hurt her and now she's gone, probably with someone who actually deserves her heart and tears.

Around 3 o'clock in the afternoon, I run back to Escala just in time see Phoebe slip out of the garage with her black backpack hanging low. I quickly disguise myself, pulling my hoodie securely around me and hiding until Phoebe's a few blocks down the street before following after her. My last thought before we both disappeared into the busy sea of people was: _the library's in the opposite direction._

The dusk is slowly creeping over the city of Seattle as Phoebe ventures further into the downtown area. I blow on my own hands as I think about what a shitty father I've been. How could I neglect my own child like this? I literally just got back from a two-weeks long business trip from India and there were many other frequent business trips before that. Motherfucking government wouldn't allow me to establish jobs for the poor who so desperately needs the jobs because they were only concerned about themselves. But was India worth risking my daughter?

Phoebe steps out onto the sidewalk, calling a cab and I follow her. "Don't let the cab in front of you out of your sight." I instruct the taxi driver who merely nods at me. We drive for the better part of an hour or so. Where the fuck is she going that's this fucking far? The taxi driver abruptly pulls to a rundown curb, throwing me forward in my seat. I toss a hundred-dollar bill at the driver and hurriedly get out, following Phoebe into the moonless night. I look around me as the sky continues to darken and feel a cold breeze travel all the way down my spine as the hairs on my back stand in attention. Phoebe turns into a dark alley and I growl. _I may not have been the best of fathers but surely I've taught her common sense?_

I keep my head down as I wait by the entrance of the alley, not wanting to follow her too closely in case she gets suspicious. The alley is long and I can barely see Phoebe slight shadow at the end. It's dark, the only dim light provided by a broken street lamp buzzing with electricity that looks like it's going to short circuit any second. I watch my dear, little girl with her long copper hair draped down her back as she lightly knocks on a big, wooden, black door, the iron handle clinking loudly against the dead bolted door and she casts her eyes down, looking like the perfect submissive. I immediately feel chills run through my bones as I start walking furiously, trying to get to her in time. But before I can approach her, the door squeaks open and out steps a guy. I can't see his face but his large frame looms over Phoebe, making her already petite figure look twice as small. I am stunned to silence, not being able say or do anything as I watch the man roughly grab Phoebe by the forearm, dragging her into his dungeon. The door slams shut.

My brain numbs all of my senses as the cold wind pricks my skin, bringing me back. I run to the door, banging on it. "Phoebe!" I scream but receive no response. I throw my heavy body against the door, but it doesn't budge-the solid wood standing impeccably still. The streets are empty, not a single person can be seen in sight. I kick the door again. No response. It's just now that my brain registers that we are in the worst part of Seattle. Graffiti litter the walls fading with their old color and I hear a street fight going on in the distance, listening to the distant sound of a gun-shot go off. Why the hell didn't I just let Phoebe know I was following her? I feel sweat drip down my forehead as my hands became clammy. Staring at the heavy wooden door, my throat tightens as the lurking panic attack comes rushing over me. The police are useless around this area. They'll probably asks a thousand question and need to get a warrant before they can open that door to save my little girl.

Without any option, I call Taylor. I know deep down he loves Phoebe and he'll be here as fast as humanly possible but this place is an hour drive from Escala so it will take at least 20 minutes for him to get here no matter how many traffic laws he breaks. I call Taylor, my voice shaking and I stammer out in incoherent sentences where I am and why I am here. I hear pounding footsteps running down flights of stairs as Taylor shouts for Luke and Neil on the other end.

 **Phoebe:**

The door clicks shut behind me as goosebumps form down my back. I steal myself the courage to look into those black eyes squinted in a hard line. _Please don't hurt me too much._ I silently beg. I can't scream, can't struggle. It's useless, this whole place is soundproof so why not just let the inevitable happen? He might be kind if I am good.

My heart clenches when I hear someone kicking the door and Jack's jaw becomes harder. "Bitch, you didn't bring anyone here did you?" he growls.

"no…no…I swear…" I stammer, I have no idea who's banging and kicking the door. I hope they go away; I don't want to scar whoever if they see Jack's dungeon.

"Liar." Jack states, yanking my hair back so I am forced to look at him.

"No…I'm…I'm…not…I wouldn't…" my voice cracks as tears start rolling down my cheeks. _No phoebe! Don't cry yet, the bad part hasn't even started._

"Seems like you need no mercy then. Looks like last time wasn't rough enough for you. When will you learn to behave?" Jack snarls.

"Please…" I beg, hating how my voice crumbles as my hands start to shake.

Jack large hands twist around my hair as he drags me to the cross and black rope loops around my ankle as well as my wrist and I whimper. From the corner of my eyes, I see the black, synthetic cane lying on the table with the silver bullet butt plugs beside them. A gag comes around my mouth as I close my eyes, imagining that I am in a different place, some place safe, some place over the rainbow.

 **a/n-what do you guys think? I would love to hear.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 4-llulaby**

 _Sing me a lullaby_

 **Christian:**

Taylor was here within half an hour, despite the mere distance and rush hour. I pace back and forth, the scenarios of what could happen to my sweet, little girl behind those cold doors have in near hysterics. I am not breathing right and Luke actually comes to pat my back as Taylor picks the lock. It squeaks open and all logical thought escapes my mind as I burst in, my heart shattering into pieces on the wooden planks below me at what I see. There is my Phoebe, naked, tied to a black cross with tears streaming down her face as she chokes on the gag in her mouth. Various cane welts line all the way down her back as another sob comes out, muffled by the gag. I'm by her side in an instant as Taylor grabs the fucker who was hurting my Phoebe.

"Do you guys have a warrant?" he snarls but he's no match for Taylor and Luke. Luke hands Taylor an own pair of his handcuffs hanging from his black wall as Taylor tightens them around his wrist.

"Watch out for my wrist, Asshole!" He shouts.

"Oh, my bad, am I hurting you, sweetheart?" Taylor asks in a voice that's so sickly sweet it has me vomiting as he jams his mouth shut with a gag and Luke drags him up by his short, black hair.

Luke looks at me and I give him a pointed look. He'll be dead without a shred of his body left by nightfall.

My hands shake as I quickly undo Phoebe's gag. It falls to the floor with a thud.

"Daddy…" she chokes out as her eyelashes casts down on her hollow grey eyes.

"Sweet pea." I murmur against her head, trying to keep my own emotions in check. _Grey, you need to be strong for her._

"Hold on, I'm getting us out of here." I say, my brain all of the sudden clearing as I recognize the deadly double knots that has her bounded to the cross. I quickly work my fingers through the ropes as Phoebe collapses on me. I gather her into my arms as I sink down to the floor, pulling off my hoodie and slipping it on her. It's two sizes too big but at least it covers her slim thighs. The bitter wind howls against my bear chest but I welcome the cold.

I feel hot tears spill onto my hands as I tuck Phoebe into my arms. She's stammering. "Dad…I didn't mean to…sorry…so sorry…sorry…please don't…hit me…please."

I feel my whole body tense. Why will I hit her? But she's in no condition to answer any of the million questions swimming in my head.

"Shhh. I'm not going to hit you. Have I ever hurt you?" I ask, rubbing my hands up and down her arms as I press a kiss to her sweaty forehead.

Phoebe snivels in my chest. "No…but…" she can't finish her sentence as a new wave of tears take over her.

"Sshh…we're going to be ok. I've got you." I swallow several times as I cradle her abused body in my arms and stand up, walking to Taylor's car. Phoebe's shaking as her hands grips my shoulders, tears running all the way down my bare chest.

"Shhh, shhh…" I continually hush, kissing the side of her forehead as I pull her onto my lap so she's straddling me. Her thin arms wraps around my waist as she whimpers into my chest. "hush, you're safe now. Nobody's going to hurt you anymore" I quietly assure her, petting her hair because her back has cane welts crisscrossed all over.

"I'm…I'm….so…sorry…" she continues to whimper and I lightly bring my arms around, being careful of all her bruises.

"Hush."

"It…hurts…" She gets out as I wipe away two tears with the pad of my thumb.

"Shhh...sweet pea, I know it hurts." I whisper back, tucking her head back underneath my chin so she can cry on my shoulder.

Phoebe gasps for breath, hiccupping because she's crying so hard. Fresh tears swim in her eyes as she chokes on several more sobs. I lean down and kiss her puffy eyes.

"Can you even out your breathing for me, sweet pea?" I ask, rubbing soft circles on the small of her back, trying to calm her as I whisper sweet nothings in her ears. I pull every trick I can think of from my hat but I have no idea what to do, no idea how to comfort her, none of my subs have ever cried this hard and I have no idea how to take care of my sweet pea when she's hurting like this.

Her sobs eventually quiet into silent trickles of tears running down her pretty face. Taylor keeps on glancing at us from the car mirror, his black eyes softening at Phoebe but I take note of the way his hands grasp the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. I have no doubt that the fucker will get what he deserves.

Taylor nods at me through the front. "Mr. Grey, Gail is on her way back from her sister's." He informs me and I nod, internally offering a thank you to God for sending Gail back. Gail is what Phoebe needs right now.

"Daddy…" Phoebe's voice cracks as her grip tightens on me.

"Yes, sweet pea?" I whisper back, brushing away her sweaty hair and kissing her forehead.

Phoebe glances nervously at Taylor and I know she needs to tell me something very personal if she doesn't even feel comfortable enough with letting Taylor hear it. I nod at Taylor and he pulls to a discrete curb, going a couple of feet away as he plugs in head phones.

"What is it, sweet pea?" I ask gently while squeezing her small hands in my big ones.

"Um…um…butt…plugs…they…they...hurt…I still…have…one…in me…I don't…don't…think…I…I…can…" new sobs rake over Phoebe's tiny body, her shoulders trembling once again. Anger floods my blood, what the fuck did he do? Why did my Phoebe deserve this?

"Shhh…I already called Dr. Green, she'll be at our house when we get home, ok?" I ask, cuddling her closer to me as I rock her back and forth.

"please…no…" Phoebe's crying gets harder as her breathing becomes more labored. I still.

"So me then?" I ask, my voice is so quiet that I can't even hear myself but Phoebe nods into my chest, her crying steadily getting harder. "It…really…hurts…" she stammers.

I repeatedly kiss her forehead and rub circles on her back. "Gently...ok? I'll be gentle." I ask and vow to myself that I will be as gentle as possible.

Phoebe buries her head in the crook of my shoulder as she snivels some more, and my heart, whatever low price kind it is, simply breaks into a million pieces.

Phoebe shutters as I try to sooth her "relax, I need you to completely relax." I softly instruct, stroking her hair. "That's good…good…deep breaths, come on…another deep breath…in and out…there you go…there…"

Reluctantly, her breathing calms and I slip my hand underneath my sweatshirt covering up her body. "Stay relaxed for me, it will hurt a lot less." I instruct, kissing her head and she squeezes my neck she's been hugging as I quickly kiss the side of her cheek.

I continue whispering in her ear as I let my fingers lightly trail and grab onto the round end of the butt plug, how did I not notice this?

I feel her whole body restrain at my touch but she finally relaxes into me and I take the opportunity to carefully pull the plug out, being as quick and gentle as I can.

Phoebe screams as she bites into my shoulder when I finally remove it. I am horrified. It's as big as half of my fucking palm and completely un-lubed.

I quickly chuck it out the window, enjoying the satisfaction of watching it smash against the cement. I cradle Phoebe's head, rocking her back and forth, ignoring the slight trickle of blood dripping down my side.

"Can…I…not…see…Dr. Green…tonight?" Phoebe finally ask, her voice barely above a whisper. I frown. "Phoebe, you're hurt. Dr. Green will know how to help you, Gail's coming back also." I tell her.

"So…you're leaving again?" Phoebe says as a lone tear rolls down her cheek and she clings on to me harder, as if I will disappear.

"No, no, no. I'm staying right here, ok? I just think you need a Doctor to look after you. Phoebe, you are badly hurt." I say and she meekly nods against me. "Hush baby. I'm not leaving you alone anymore." I silently promise her.

Phoebe stares at me with wide, hurt eyes as her copper hair tumbles around her and she looks so small and vulnerable that I pull her into another hug, still mindful of her back.

"Can…we…at least…wait…wait till tomorrow…I don't think…I can deal…tonight." She stutters as my heart constricts.

"Ok, Sweet pea." I agree. She's right. Tonight, she needs to rest. I text Dr. Greene once again.

I wave Taylor back in and as he gets in the car, he hands me his black jacket. I mouth a thank you to him, lightly draping the jacket over the rest of Phoebe's bare legs.

We drive in complete silence back home, with Phoebe curled tightly in my arms.

 **Phoebe:**

Dad's chest is warm, and…solid. For once, I feel safe being wrapped up in someone's arm. I know Dad wants to yell and shout at me but I am grateful he's saving that for later. I don't think I can handle anymore anger tonight. Dad rubs my shoulder, the only part of my back that doesn't hurt as I snivel in his chest, my snot smearing all over his olive-skin. I cringe when I see his scars. I know he doesn't like people touching them but I'm allowed. Dad rocks me back and forth as he kisses my forehead. I don't question where this gentle side of him is coming from, grabbing onto all the comfort he's offering.

I blink up into Dad's grey eyes and all of the sudden, notice the sight of blood by his shoulder. Did I cause those? The butt plugs hurt so much no matter how gentle dad was being. I didn't know I was capable of biting that hard, I wasn't even aware that I had bit him. The sight of my tooth mark engrained in his shoulder makes the tears start again.

"Phoebe, you didn't hurt me, ok? I am glad you did if it could help lesson your pain, I don't mind. Truly, it's nothing." Dad seems to sense what I am thinking as he quietly assures me, not even bothering to wipe off the blood.

Taylor finally pulls into the garage of Escala and Dad stands up with me still gathered in his arms. I don't protest this time as Dad carries me up the elevator. He walks straight pass my room and heads toward his.

"My bed is softer." He explains as he kicks open his door and with me still cradled between his one arm, he swiftly folds over the corner of the soft duvets and gently lays me down on my stomach. I watch from the corner of my eyes as dad jogs to his cabinet and takes out a bottle of cream. "Phoebe, I'm just going to lift up your shirt really quick to rub this on your back ok? Gail is on her plane ride home but it's still going to be a few hours. This will help you heal a little faster and I'll be quick, I promise, ok?" he asks, crouching down and brushes his warm hand against my face.

I nod, trying not to let the shame I feel take me over. Dad lets go of my one hand he's been holding and silently moves behind me. I hear his gasp once again as he takes in the sight of my back.

"Oh baby." He whispers and I allow another tear to slip out. I should've known that dad would have found out no matter what, did I really think I could keep this secret buried forever? That dad wouldn't find out about all the despicable things Jack did to me?

I hiss and grip the covers as dad rubs the cold cream into my welts, I can tell he's trying to be tender with his ministrations but I continue to hiss and wiggle away, more tears streaming out of my eyes.

Dad takes my small hand in between his big, warm palm as his thumb traces soothing circles on my hand.

"sweet pea, I know it hurts, really, I do." He tells me and his voice is so earnest that I scoot back to where his hand can reach my back once again. The cream stings but it's dad, he won't hurt me.

"so brave." Dad murmurs more to himself. He made due on his promise, taking only another moment to finish rubbing in the cream before lightly draping his sweat shirt and sheets back over me.

Dad gives my hand another little squeeze before coming around to me, concern pooling out of his foggy grey eyes as I give a little sniffle. I chastise myself about all the tears, but they keep on falling despite my will.

Dad crouches down to my level. "Do you think you can sleep?" he asks. I nod, biting my lip as fear settles in my stomach at the thought of being alone tonight.

Dad kisses my forehead when he sensed the now all too familiar tears before they spill out of my eyes and to my great relief, he gingerly situates himself beside me as he wraps a big, rough hand around my shoulder and I breath in deeply, relishing in the comfort of knowing that I am safe. The last thing I hear is dad's voice quietly humming the tune of a lullaby.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4-Secrets**

 _There are no secrets that time does not reveal-Jean Racine_

 **Phoebe:**

My eyelids feel heavy but I force them open with great effort, taking in the deep sea blue of dad's wall. I am smothered between layers upon layers of blankets, every cushion, comforter, and blanket imaginable was piled around me, keeping me safe and warm under their fluffy softness. _Did dad build a fortress around me?_ I look besides me and see Dad propped up on his elbow, dark circles collecting underneath his eyes. Guilt stab me; it's all my fault he didn't sleep last night.

Dad gives me a half smile but his eyes don't crinkle. "Hey…" he whispers.

"Hey…" I whisper back, wincing slightly when I sit up.

Dad helps me lean up against the pillow and I mutter a thank you, avoiding his gaze.

"What time is it?" I ask, trying to ignore the fact that it's probably almost noon. Doesn't dad need to run his empire?

"It's barely 11." Dad answers, offering another small smile. My mind immediately goes to school but I guess I can always make that stuff up.

I hear a light knock on the door and coward into the blankets, I don't want anyone to see me like this.

"Relax." Dad says and strokes my hair. The door cracks open and I see Gail's cinnamon brown eyes come into sight, her grey bun slightly askew.

I try to muster a small smile at her but Gail has her arms thrown around me before I can say anything else. I internally hiss because she accidently pressed against my welts. Gail was always a tight hugger.

"Oh, my poor Phoebe." She mumbles, sweaty hands stroking my face.

"Gail. I'm ok." I assure her but swallow when both Dad and Gail shoot me a disbelieving look.

"I'm sorry." I whisper again, not knowing what else to say. I know I have hurt many people.

"Nonsense dear. We're just glad you ok." she hushes and hugs me again.

As I was still engulfed in Gail's warm bosom, Taylor comes in, his black eyes have a new softness to them as he regards me.

"Hi Tay." I try the lighter approach, using the nick name I came up for him when I was just a tiny, little girl but smartly shut my mouth when he casts me a stern glare.

"Phoebe, what were you thinking?" he questions, coming to my side. His midnight black orbs seem to pierce straight through my soul and I look away. I could never explain my reasoning to Taylor, it will break his heart. Even though Taylor always took the tough love approach, he was the biggest softie I ever knew.

Dad nudges Taylor and he takes the clue, shaking his head. "I don't expect you to tell me, but you better believe that I am appointing you a new body guard no matter what tantrum you throw this time, do I make myself clear?" he demands, black eyes turning serious.

"Crystal." I respond, giving him my famous cheeky smile and he can't stop his lips from twitching up as he leans down and presses a kiss to my forehead. _Why is everyone kissing and hugging me?_ "Try to get some more rest but I'm sure your dad here is seeing to that." He says and dad nods, also smiling.

"Taylor, why don't you take the weekend off with Gail. I should spend some time with Phoebe by myself." Dad says and my stomach churns.

"Very well, sir." Taylor nods and leaves, but not before giving my shoulder another squeeze.

"How are you feeling?" Dad asks, his brows knitted together as he studies me.

"Better, that cream really helped." I say, feeling myself slightly blush.

"I'm glad." Dad replies but then swallows, "Phoebe, we will eventually have to talk about a lot of things. Uncomfortable things." He says, strong hands rubbing my shoulder.

I look down at my own fingers tugging at dad's sweatshirt I still have on. "I know." I say quietly.

"But let's not worry about that first. You need to eat." Dad says and gets up to leave, he reappears several seconds later with a steaming bowl of mac and cheese. My stomach growls.

"Eat." Dad commands, his voice a little bit gruffer. I gulp and obediently shove the food into my mouth, enjoying the taste of the salty cheese melt on my tongue. I don't know why dad's letting me have mac and cheese. He's like the biggest health freak. I must have accidentally voiced my thought out loud because dad lets a lazy smirk grace his lips. "Comfort food's the best." He answers and I smile really big which causes him to smile too.

We finish our meal in silence and dad puts away the tray as he takes both of my hands in his, his thumbs rub small circles on my knuckles as he looks me straight in the eye, grey ambers piecing through all of my carefully constructed lies.

"Phoebe, I know this is hard but why, why did you allow that fucker to abuse you. I didn't know what you were doing at first, but I saw you walk into that dungeon with my own two eyes. Sweet pea, why?" Dad asks, his voice sounds pained and tortured.

"I…I…" I stutter, "it's usually not that bad…" was the best response I could come up with. Dad snorts.

"Don't bullshit me, Phoebe. Some of those cane welts on you were from a week ago." Dad states, his crinkling grey eyes devoid of their usual emotion.

Tears well in my eyes and Dad sighs, scooting closer to me. "Phoebe, I didn't mean to snap, but you need to tell me, whatever your reasoning."

I sniffle. "You know the picture hanging on the wall of me and grandma's family in Ohio?" I ask and dad nods, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Yes, it's quite a large picture, why?"

"Can you bring it down for me, please?" I ask, knowing it's easier if I just show him the other pictures and contract hidden within that wooden frame.

 **Christian:**

I take down the picture from Phoebe's wall. My daughter is smiling radiantly in the picture and Elliot has his arm slung around her with Mia on his back. Grace and Carrick are standing in the background, Grace has a motherly smile spread across her lips and Carrick is making a grimacing face at the camera. I shake my head at the picture, I wish mother didn't live in fucking Ohio, they would've been better for Phoebe. I carefully carry the picture down to my room. Phoebe is still sitting on my bed, her knees curled up and she's peering out of my window, her expression unreadable. I have no idea what the deal is with this picture but I push it to the back of my mind as I gently set it down by Phoebe's side and wait for her reaction.

Phoebe glances at the picture, her eyes turning a slightly deeper shade of grey as a certain sadness fills them. She picks up the large frame and I watch her delicate, long fingers as they carefully unscrew the back of the wooden oak frame. The happy picture falls out the moment the frame comes off but so does a white, crisp envelope.

Phoebe avoids my gaze as she quietly hands me the envelope, I catch the slight shake in her small hands and my stomach twists as I feel sweat break across my forehead. I turn the envelope around a few times, weighing what seems to be a couple pieces of flimsy paper. I take a deep breath and steal myself the courage before unfastening the seal and pouring out the contents. Phoebe looks away.

I could have never prepared myself for what was in that white envelope. In it were pictures. Of me. I was fucking and beating various subs. I gasp at the picture of Leila. I am standing behind her, my jaw's locked tight and in my one hand was a cat of nine tails as my other hand held her in position, Leila's back was covered with red slashes. For the first time, I see myself clearly as the monster I am. My brain stops functioning but my hands continue to flip through every picture. I can't remember all of their names but I was an ugly beast with all of them. There were a good few dozens of pictures consisting of every implement imaginable. I stop when I get to the last picture, it's of me, but this time, I'm the submissive, my back is black and blue and I am bounded to an identical black cross like Phoebe was last night. This one is from Elena's dungeon although you can't see her holding the cane. And buried under all of the pictures was a contract my baby girl signed, her name's printed neatly across the bottom line. It's almost a duplicate of mine, but there were no hard or soft limits outlined in hers.

"Phoebe...I…I…" I don't know what to say, no wonder Phoebe has been scared of me. Who wouldn't be? It's a miracle she didn't flee home.

Phoebe sniffles and wipes her tears with the back of her hands. My own hands itch to help her but now that she knows the true me, I don't think she wants my help. I sure wouldn't.

"Jack…jack..." Phoebe's crying gets harder, I sit there, unable to do anything. "Jack…blackmailed…mailed…me…he…he said if…I…I didn't…be…be his…submissive…he...would…leak…leak the pictures…" Phoebe cries and I freeze. My baby was blackmailed into being a submissive.

"Phoebe…" I say, gently pulling her into a soft hug, settling her down on my lap. I am at a lost for word, my tongue is frozen in place as I feel my own body shut down on me. How could I possibly let this happen? How could this fucker Jack possibly get those pictures? Phoebe's still crying, her breathing is so harsh that I am afraid she'll start to hyperventilate. "I…I…didn't want…to." She sobs into my chest and I tighten my hold.

"sshhh…I know you didn't want to." I tell her, rocking back and forth in hopes to help calm her down but nothing works.

"Phoebe, breath, baby breath." I instruct when she chokes several more times on her own sobs but she doesn't listen to me as her slight shoulders continue to shake and she speaks in half formed sentences. "I…but…but…GEH…and…your...work…and…India… Daddy, you must believe me…I…I… didn't want to, please don't hit…hit…or punish me…please…" My pathetic excuse of a heart breaks at her last request.

Christ. She thinks I'd be mad at her. I mean, I am disappointed and hurt that she didn't come to me with this information and what she agreed to do was beyond stupid but ultimately, she did it out of selflessness. For _me_ and I didn't even know she knew about the India hunger project I was working on. How could I possibly be mad at that?

"Phoebe, I will never hit you, never. You have my solemn promise on that." I promise my daughter, stroking her copper hair and finishing my promise with a quick kiss to her forehead.

She curls herself up and continues to rid herself of all her pent up tears. After her crying finally subsided into tiny little hiccups, I scoop her up and gently lay her back down on my bed.

"Try to get a little bit more sleep, ok, sweet pea? Dr. Green is coming in five hours." I say and help her wipe away the last of her salty tracks.

"Dad?" Phoebe asks just before I draw the drapes shut.

"Yes?" I keep my voice gentle.

Phoebe looks down and asks in a voice barely above a whisper. "Did all of them consent?" her voice trails off as I crack a sad smile.

"Yes, sweet pea, they did." I answer and see Phoebe visibly relax.

"Good." She mutters, already drifting asleep and I close the curtains before kissing her head one last time.

 **a/n-Thank you soooooooo much for everyone who reviewed this story, some of the reviews nearly made me cry they were so touching and I'm glad you guys seem to be liking the story so far. Ana will start to be slowly introduced at the end of next chapter and she will be fully back in the story within 2-4 more chapters. What did you think of this chapter? It gave me a really hard time with all the dialect and I kept on editing it.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/n-Thank You! Thank You! Thank You for all the reviews, they all brought a smile to my face. Ok, so I wrote a super long chapter (about 3.5k word, it's long for me anyway) I am posting it in two chapters, but they are both posted today. Hopefully, it answers a ton of question…(as well as the ones considering Ana) Tell me what you think! Love you all ;)**

 **Chapter 5-love**

 _Father is every daughter's first love_

 **Christian:**

"Phoebe…" I gently shake her awake and she blinks up at me. "Hey…" she says, sitting up with much more ease and I smile warmly at her.

"Dr. Greene is going to be here in half an hour." I inform her, hating every second of it.

Phoebe shutters and I give her hand a squeeze. "What am I going to tell her?" she asks timidly.

"You don't have to tell her anything." I say, meaning what I said. I don't see the benefit of forcing her to tell someone she doesn't want to.

"Ok." Phoebe nods, looking down.

Dr. Greene is wearing a white knitted sweater and black work pants when she steps in. She smiles a motherly smile at me, I have explained Phoebe's condition.

"Gail's sitting with Phoebe, she requested it." I inform her before she steps in. She pats my shoulder, "Mr. Grey, really, it's no problem. I'm glad Phoebe feels safe with Gail."

I pause, hesitating. Dr. Green seems to sense that I need to say something important so she waits for me.

"Be gentle with her. She's still…pretty fragile." I say, visibly swallowing. Dr. Green smiles as she squeezes my shoulder.

"I will. I promise." Her kind voice reminds me of Grace.

Dr. Green steps in and the door softly clicks shut as I pace outside. Finally, after what seems like years, but was probably only half an hour, Dr. Green steps back out and I immediately take note of the slight change in her expression.

"Mr. Grey…" Dr. Green's usual confident voice is mouse-like.

"Phoebe…" she pauses, composing herself. "Phoebe…has internal bruising along the inside of her vaginal wall…and…all the evidence points to rape or at least a forced entrance." Dr. Green tells me and my heart stops beating for the third time in the last two days.

I stand frozen until Dr. Green finally nudges me. "Mr. Grey, not to interrupt, but I think you should go in and sit with her. Phoebe needs you right now." She says and I nod, walking straight in. My sweet pea is curled up on my bed as big, round crocodile tears roll down her soft cheeks and onto the floor. Gail is stroking her hair and whispering something in her ear.

Phoebe turns her head to look at me, tears never stopping. "Sweet pea." I say, rushing to her side and scooping her up in my arms.

"No, no, no, please don't cry." I say. Phoebe sniffles. "How…can…you guys…continue to be so gentle with me…I'm all used…and dirty…you guys should hate me" she snivels into my chest.

I squeeze her tightly to me, my voice filled with vehemence. "Phoebe…you are not dirty, you are the strongest, kindest, most beautiful and selfless person I've ever known and I am not just saying that because I'm your dad. Baby, you need to believe me, you are anything but _that…_ I love you so much, I will always love you, there' nothing, and I mean _nothing_ you can do that could make me possibly hate you. I love you so, so much and so does grandma, Mia, Elliot, Gail, and Jason." I plead with her, my heart cracks in my chest when I think about what that fucker needed to do to her in order to bring her to this state. Phoebe was always so confident, but he shattered that.

After what seems like forever she whispers back into the darkening room. "I love you too, dad." I almost didn't catch it because her voice is so small.

I let a smile grace my lips for the first time in a long, long time. "I love you Phoebe, so, so much." I tell her and tighten my hold. She snuggles deeper into my embrace.

"Gail has dinner cooking. Do you want to eat here or in the living room?" I ask and Phoebe cracks a smile.

"The living room, I guess, I can't stay in bed forever." She jokes and I smile again, happy to catch a little glimpse of my usual smart-mouthed girl.

"Ok, the living room it is then, we can watch a movie, your pick." I suggest, _anything to take her mind off of what happened._

I carry Phoebe to the living room because she's still too weak to walk and we eat mac and cheese for the second time today as a movie plays in the background. To be honest, I didn't get it. Something about mean girls but it made Phoebe smile so that's all that matters to me. I pull her into another hug before bringing her up to bed.

"You've been very gentle with me." Phoebe observes in a small voice and I tense.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be? You're hurt and you need to know that I am always here for you, no matter what, even though I know it doesn't seem like that most of the time." Phoebe nods into my chest.

"I…just…wanted to say thank you…for taking care of me…"

I press Phoebe's head closer to me and kiss her copper hair. "Anytime, sweet pea, anytime"

 **Phoebe:**

I wake up to find I'm in Dad's room again but he's not in sight. I sit up, slightly wincing, and put my feet on the cool ground, happy that I'm sort of able to walk. Jack became hysterical with anger once he found out someone was following me, so last time was the absolute worse. I can usually manage to walk and sit but it's proving to be difficult this time. I hobble over to the door and peer out into our darkened living room. Dad sitting by the piano, his fingers hover above the keyboard but they don't make a sound. I limp over and once dad sees me, he immediately gets a pillow for me to sit next to him. We just sit there, staring at the Piano's black and white keys, and I finally decided to break the companionable silence.

"Can we have that talk now?" my voice is quite, but I just want it over with. Dad raises an eyebrow. "Now?"

I nod.

Dad runs his hand through his hair and sighs. "Well, if you think you're ready. I don't want you to be afraid of me, Phoebe."

"I'm not." I reassure him but dad blinks away.

"You thought I was going to hit you…" his voice trails off. "Did I ever give you the impression that…I…I…will actually beat…beat you?" Dad's voice cracks and I internally kick myself for saying that.

Dad shakes his head and for the first time, I see a lone tear roll down his face. "sweet pea, I will...never…never do that."

I wrap my arms around him. "Dad, I know you wouldn't. I was just confused and I know that all of them consented even though the pictures don't show that. I know you wouldn't." I comfort him but he shakes his head.

"How would you though? I have been a shitty father. Fuck, I didn't even know my own daughter was being abused…"

I swallow. "You don't know because I didn't want you to know. I was secretive, but you still found out so that alone proves you're a great father."

"But if I wasn't away so much…." Dad goes on.

"Stop." I state firmly, looking him in the eye. "You're a great dad. You do what you love and I know you help millions of people while providing for me. You're kind and generous and brave and gentle…" I go on but Dad doesn't seem to believe me as he looks away.

"How can you say that after seeing those pictures?" he asks, voice a little raspy.

"Because your sexual preference doesn't change the fact that you're the best dad." I say, squeezing his waist and smiling up at him with my big smile, hoping to ease his tension.

Dad's lips twitch up at the last comment. "I love you." I tell him.

"I love you too, sweet pea." Dad says, hugging me a little closer.

 **Christian:**

Phoebe went to sleep in her own room tonight as she said I needed to sleep too. Sure, I would love to sleep if I could but every time I close my eyes, all I see is my baby girl bound to the black cross. I pick up Ana's old pillow and hug it towards me. I really wish she was here; she would've kept away my demons. I scold myself about thinking of her again and get up to go to my study, but not before going to check on Phoebe. I keep on thinking I'll wake up one day and she'll just be gone, but then again, why would she?

Phoebe's long eyelashes sweep over her hollow cheekbones and she looks so small, curled up on her bed like that. I go and get her a glass of water along with Advil, setting it by her bed for when she wakes up and lay an extra blanket on her. It's chilly this fall. I brush my fingers against her still tear-stained cheek. It must have been 10 or so years since she cried. Phoebe was never a crier, always so strong. And I hate that my tough little girl was forced to cry because of my mistakes. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy, but somehow fucked that up too.

I left her door slightly ajar and stalk to my study. Taylor was waiting for me, stoic mass in place.

"Taylor." He nods at me. We are going to get to the bottom of this mess.

"So what happened with the fucker?" I ask, crossing my legs and leaning back in my chair.

Taylor's lips threaten to twitch up but he keeps them straight. "Mr. Grey, I assure you he's taken care of."

I cock an eyebrow at him, telling him he needs to elaborate. Now, Taylor doesn't hide his smile. "I hope you don't mind that we used some of your _equipment,_ sir."

"No, no, by all means." I smirk. I want what he did to Phoebe done ten times worse to him. "Where is he now?" I ask, relaxing further into my chair.

"Hell." Taylor answers, dead serious. _Good man._ I thought to myself.

"Do you have the negative of the pictures?" I ask and Taylor nods.

"They were from Elena sir. Jack was another one of her boys." Fuck. _Why does this even surprise me anymore?_

"And she's taken care of?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. Taylor nods. "Yes sir, Welch hacked into her computers and got a copy of all the videos and pictures for everybody who was in her club, including herself and several younger boys. She had the whole place on security cameras. Welch has a copy of everything, but I assure you all other stuff are cleaned off."

"How many more years does she still have in Jail?" I ask. Elena had been caught stealing large sums of money from big businesses a couple of years ago and got thrown in jail. At first, I felt sorry that I didn't help her but what she did was wrong. Now, I am damn glad that I didn't step in and save her ass.

"three more years, sir." Taylor replies.

"Good. Make sure she's convicted for life." I state, walking out of the room.

 **A/n-Do you think Jack got what he deserved? (insert evil grin here)**


	6. Chapter 6

**a/n-I posted two chapters so please read the first one (chapter 5) before this. Thank You!**

 **Chapter 6-Our past will haunt us.**

 _Your mind might forget, but your heart will always remember_

 **Phoebe:**

I wake up the next day, stretching out in my own room and smiling genuinely for the first time in a long time. I feel so light that I could float. I drag myself out of my comfy bed, walking is getting easier and I run my hands through my oily roots. Yep, I definitely need a shower, the welts should be mostly healed. I get out my phone, responding to a few friends and telling them I've been "sick". I put on some old Beatles music while I take a shower and take my sweet time while doing it, enjoying the warm, soothing water gush over me as I wash every inch of my body, shampooing twice. I shave and condition as well and tweeze my eyebrows. Finally, I'm done and I put on sweat pants and sweat shirt, heading down stairs with my wet hair dripping water down my back. Dad's dressed in his pajama's also, reading the financial section of the newspaper. He looks up when he sees me, frowning.

"Phoebe, you are going to catch a cold with your hair like that." He softly rebukes and I try really hard to not roll my eyes. We are in a heated apartment, not negative temperatures.

"It's not like I can catch pneumonia or something." I mutter more to myself. To my surprise, dad chuckles instead of scolding me for balk talk. "Yes, well, I still want you to put it up or I can do it for you if you choose."

"You can do hair?" I ask, shocked. Dad smirks a little but it's not very joyful. "It's one of my many talents." He says slyly as I hand him a hair tie and comb.

Dad carefully dries and patiently combs out my hair until it's all silky and smooth. He helps me pin it in a bun so it will be out of my face and we then eat chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. For once, everything feels so…normal…and I smile.

I have been dying to ask dad something even though I know he won't answer. But it's now or never. "Dad?"

"yes?" he says, lifting up his eyes to meet mine.

"Um…was…my…mom…a…sub…?" I stutter.

Dad runs his fingers through his crazy hair before blowing out a long breath. "Yes, she was." He finally says and my eyes widen.

"Which one was she? I couldn't really tell; I look too much like you." I try to lightly joke and dad furrows his eyebrow.

"Wait here." He tells me as he heads to his study. He comes back out a second later with a file. "Here are some pictures of her, her name was Leila." He says and I flip open the green file.

In it were pictures of a girl, she couldn't have been older than her early twenties. She was smiling brightly at the camera and her hazel eyes illuminated the setting sun behind her. She was petite, like me, and had gorgeous brown hair flowing down her back.

"She's really pretty." I swallow and dad smiles a sad smile. "Yes, she is, just like you." I blush. "But I don't really look like her." Dad frowns.

"I mean, not really, but there are some similarities. Like here, you guys both have the pretties smile and a cute button nose." Dad says, tapping my nose and I giggle which causes dad to smile really, really big. All warm and stuff. "And…" dad continues. "you guys both have the same mischief in your eyes, I never knew what your mom was up to. She once painted the walls in her room because she said she couldn't find paper." Dad shakes his head, amused as I giggle some more.

I know the rest of the story of how her new husband was abusive and how she committed suicide, leaving me when I was two. Dad never knew about me so he must've been so surprised when child services showed up with two-year-old me at his door.

"Did you love her?" I ask, gazing into dad's deep grey eyes but stop when he quickly looks away.

"I cared about her but…I…I don't do love, not into the hearts and flowers stuff." I furrow my eyebrows. "But you love me…" I protest.

Dad smiles but it doesn't touch his eyes. "You're different. You know this but I didn't love any of my subs."

"Not one?" I ask and see dad hesitates. "Well, there was this one girl…" dad trails off and I feel happiness bloom in my stomach. I want dad to find someone he loves, someone who loves him back. He deserves it more than anyone and he should see how easy it is to love him.

"What was her name?" I ask. Dad smiles.

"Her name was Anastasia, but she preferred Ana. Anastasia always made her think that she was in trouble."

"Well, you should go find her. I'm sure she misses you too." I say, smiling my big, goofy grin as dad casts me a worried look.

"Phoebe, I'm sure she's married already. That was fifteen years ago, she's much better off without me."

"Well, why don't you just use your undue influence to find out?" I ask, smiling cheekily and I can feel my own eyes dance. Dad chuckles.

"Ok, cupid, time for bed." Dad grins and pulls me up as I crawl up the stairs. "Good night, dad."

"Night, angel."

 **Christian:**

I plop down on my bed, thinking of what Phoebe said but quickly shake my head. _No, I can't have Ana back. She deserves better, I don't want to break her, which is exactly what would've happened if she stayed with me. So I had to break her heart, make her leave me. Shorter pain was better than longer pain, and I'm sure the pain I caused her earlier was gentler than the pain she would've felt if she stayed with me longer, look what happened to Leila._ I remember the first time I met her in the interview and her arctic ocean blue eyes. I remember how she carefully signed my stupid contract on her graduation. I remember how she tried to meet my every need but still somehow managed to be sassy. I was never too hard on Ana. No, Ana was too fragile and innocent to be exposed to dark side of BDSM. She was allowed to sleep with me and I only ever truly punished her once or twice. I remember how hard she cried after the punishment and what shit I felt like for putting her in that state. I remember curling her body into mine and promising her that I will never hurt her anymore.

Then, Phoebe happened. When the police told me Leila's story, I was devastated. Leila wrote me a letter before she left, explaining how she always loved me but knew that I could never love her back, explaining why she finally settled for abuse and asked me to take care of Phoebe. At first, I didn't believe Phoebe was mine but one look at Phoebe and the truth was undoubtedly known. She was so small, but had big tuffs of copper hair sticking straight up on her head and big, bright grey eyes. I remember that cold, February night as I read Leila's letter over and over with Phoebe's baby picture in it as I stood by Ana's doorway, watching her sleep. Could I subject Ana to same risk as Leila? The answer was simple, I couldn't. Plus, a small child of my ex-sub was going to be living with me, surely that would affect Ana. So it was then, when I stood by her doorway, that I decided I needed to find a way for Ana to leave me, once and for all, scare her so much that she would never come back. The next day, I hardened my heart and found some stupid reason to punish Ana. I took the belt to her ass and when she safe worded, I told her I didn't want a sub with such a low-pain tolerance, told her how she would never be enough me, told her how I wish I never met her and how she was just a waste of my time. I will never forget the picture of Ana as she tightly hugged herself, tears glistening in her baby blues as she fled out of my room. I think subconsciously I knew Ana loved me, so I had to find a way to make her un-love me. I am unlovable, loving me was wrong, so I protected Ana the best way I knew how. After that, I never heard from Anastasia again and I guess, my goal was achieved even though it pained me to lose her.

 **a/n-What do you guys think? Please leave a review if you have a second ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/n-Thank you so so so so much for all of the beautiful reviews, they all made my day. Thank you all so much! You guys rock! I am sorry if I couldn't respond to you but I tried to respond to as much as possible and I hope I didn't miss any, but if I did, my apologies. This chapter is super long as a Thank you.**

 **Chapter 7-Unexpected return**

 _True Love has a habit of coming back_

 **Phoebe:**

I head down for breakfast, helplessly tugging at my hair that looks like a bird made a nest in it. Oh well, it's just me and dad so it's ok if I look like crap. My foot touches the cold bare tiles and I feel someone throw their arms around me. "Phoebe!"

I internally face-palm myself. The high pitched squeal can only belong to one person. I put on my best smile. "Hi, aunt Mia."

"Oh darling, how are you? I've been great. The whole family misses you and Christian. He explained to mom yesterday on the phone that you've been having a rough time at school lately and suggested a get-away vacation in Ohio for a month or so. I'm here to pick you up, actually no, I just really wanted to ride the private jet." Mia somehow manages to say all of that in one breath and I shot Dad a look who just shrugs apologetically at me.

Dad comes around, dress in a kitted grey sweater and black jeans. "Ok Mia, I would appreciate it if you didn't scare my only daughter to death." Dad says, lazily smirking.

Mia grins. "Nonsense Christian. You're just jealous because she likes me more." I actually face palm myself this time. Not this again.

I take a deep breath. "Mia, I love both of you very much, can we please not fight over me _again,_ please?" I beg. Dad grins.

"Mia, how about you give us some time to adjust and go shopping or something. You know when I said you could come over. I didn't mean 8 in the morning."

Mia jumps up and clasps her hands, "Of course, you guys pack. I've been absolutely dying to go see the new mall that opened downtown." I shake my head in amusement, I've never liked shopping.

Mia looks at me once more. "and Phoebe, I'm getting you some hairspray." Mia says, ruffling my now even messier hair.

I nod as Mia scurries out and head to our coffee pot with dad following me. I pour myself a cup of dark coffee. "Mornings and Mia don't mix." I grumble to myself and dad lets out a loud bark of laughter.

"No they don't." he agrees.

I fidget with my omelet. "Why are we all of the sudden going to Ohio?" I ask, feeling my stomach flip. I like Seattle, I don't want to go to Ohio.

Dad sighs as he puts down his newspaper. "Phoebe, you've been badly hurt and I think it will be good for you, you know to get your mind off of things. We can do whatever you want, horseback riding, boating, hiking, anything at all. And plus, Flynn is there. He was my old therapist and before you start, I do want you to go see him, at least once. Just give it a try, he really helped me when I was a teen."

I feel my heart flutter at how hard dad's trying to heal me and sigh. "I can't believe you're taking me all the way to Ohio to go see a useless charlatan." Dad smiles at the word _charlatan._

"That's what Ana use to call him. She thought all psychiatrists were frauds." Dad says, seemingly remembering good times. My ears perk up.

"Ana knows about Flynn?"

Dad smiles a shy smile and if I didn't know better, I would say he was blushing. "Yes, she does. I originally wanted them to meet at Grandma's charity gala and thought that maybe if she talked to him and he explained somethings to her, I will be easier to handle for her." Dad eyes look sad. He sighs: "But the point is moot, she's gone." I frown.

"But you can always get her back." I rebuke, dad casts me a stern glare but I ignore him. "She probably misses you too, I'm sure she loved you. I know you don't think you deserve love, but that's bullshit and we both know it. Why can't you just find out if she's married or not, I know you probably made mistakes in your relationship, but who hasn't? You deserve to be happy dad."

Dad almost growls at me. "Phoebe, drop the subject. She's better off without me and you know that better than anyone. You saw the pictures, right?" His warm voice turns cold with the last question.

I shrink back and dad's eyes soften. "Sweet pea, come here." I cautiously step forward and dad brings me into a hug.

"I didn't mean to snap, but it's just that's a dark place for me. Anastasia deserves better, I'm happy the way I am. I have you, Grace, Gail, my family, heck I even have Taylor and Ross. I'm more than happy, alright?" dad says and I agree, despite my natural reaction to foot stamp and show him how stupid he is.

I finish my coffee and grab a bag, throwing three books in it and some other random necessities, dad's waiting for me downstairs, a brief case in his hands.

Mia's already at the private jet when we arrive, she babbles on about the theme of the charity gala and how we needed to find me a dress. I scowl, I hate dresses. I much rather be comfy in sweatpants. Soon enough, we're in the air and Mia's sleeping soundly in the back as I gaze out of the airplane window.

Dad comes to sit by me, squeezing my knee. "If you don't like it there after a week, we can always come home."

I smile at how thoughtful he's being. "No, I do like Ohio, I just like Seattle better. But it will be fun to see grandma and them again. I haven't seen them in like a year so it's all good. And I will go see this charlatan, once." I clarify, holding up one finger and dad grins. "deal."

We both look out of the window. "Do I have to attend the charity gala?" I ask. I hate these events and dad rarely makes me go.

Dad smiles. "Unfortunately, this is grandma's event and I think she's expecting us all to go." I heave a breath of resignation. "Ok, I'll tell aunt Mia to find me a dress."

Dad immediately frowns. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be? I would look like a nun if you picked the dress." I tease, putting on my goofy grin as well.

"That's my point." Dad chuckles but clips back in a gruff voice and adds. "Nothing too low though, I'm serious."

I roll my eyes. "yeah, yeah, yeah."

We drive down the windy path with lush trees on both side and I greedily take in the country side's air. It smells so fresh and clean like just ironed clothes. Dad pulls us into the huge estate towering over a hill, I smile, I actually did miss this place. I use to visit it in the summer. I sling my backpack around my shoulder despite dad's insistence on helping me and head inside.

"oh my gosh Phoebe, look how much taller you've grown." Grandma's caramel eyes come into sight and I envelope her into a tight hug.

"Hi, grandma. It's been a while." I smile and she kisses my cheek. Soon, Carrick comes along and I go to hug him after dad gave him a man hug, slapping his back.

"Christian, son, good to see you and how's my baby granddaughter doing?" I blush slightly as uncle Elliot comes strolling in with Kate bouncing Ava up and down. Ava reaches towards me and I set down my bag before picking her up, nuzzling my nose into her blonde curls. "Hey, little Ava." I coo, spinning her around and she lets out fits of giggles.

Dinner was delicious with everything from cheesy potatoes to apple pie. I watch all the smiley, gorgeous faces around me and realize dad was right. This is what I need. I needed to be able to feel normal again. I sigh in content and catch dad staring at me. "You ok?" he mouths when no one is watching and I give him a big, reassuring smile.

After dinner, it's bed time and I help tuck Ava in. I love little kids, so innocent and sweet, totally unaware of the evil around them, but I know Ava will grow up in a happy family being loved by everyone so she'll be just fine, even when she's older. I kiss her forehead and say goodnight to Kate and Elliot as I head to bed, finding mitten, grandma's cat, curled up at the foot of the duvets. I chuckle as I scratch her little nose before crawling in as well.

~*~*~ (next morning)

 **Christian:**

I stretch out my cramped limbs. When did I sleep so good? I pull my body out of bed and head downstairs. Dusk was just starting to peek through the blinds and the house is deathly quiet, everybody's still tucked snuggly in bed. I tip toe down the winding stair case and see Phoebe standing by the window, her back towards me as she sips a cup of black coffee. I wonder how she tolerates it without sugar or milk.

I come behind her and she startles when I gently lay my hands on her shoulder. I quickly withdraw my palm, frustrated with myself for scaring her.

"Sorry dad…I'm…just…a little…jumpy…I guess." Phoebe stutters and I rub her shoulder. "No worries, what are you thinking about?"

Phoebe laughs, her unruly, curly copper hair tumbling around her. "Nothing really, just how Mia is going to drag me to Prada to find a dress today, I really don't want to go. Is there a bookshop somewhere?"

I shake my head, amused. "I'll talk to Mia about not spending 5 hours in the mall."

~*~*~ **(Night of the gala)**

I wait for Phoebe underneath the stairs as I slip on a simple black mass. Tonight's the gala. Mia would _not_ let me see the dress beforehand so I have no idea what the dress is going to be like but Phoebe assured me it wasn't inappropriate or bad.

Phoebe appears before the stairs and I am stunned into silence. She's wearing an elegant lace black dress that tightens at the waist but then flows out. It's a long sleeve, coming off both shoulders and there's detailing around her collar bone, the black lace curling and drawing itself onto her tan skin, framing her beauty. The whole dress has a nude undertone to it but the lace runs all along the flowy fabric of the dress. She's wearing a simple black mass, just like mine, and all I can see are her smoky ambers as her long copper hair curls down her back.

"you look beautiful." I comment as she glides down the stairs. I see her smirk. "Thanks and you're not so shabby yourself."

We arrive at the gala and I can't help but notice how Phoebe commands herself. She moves with such confidence, with such ease. Looking at her, you will never know how much trauma she went through. She smiles at everyone but politely declined several people who asked her for a dance, joking that she wouldn't want to step on them with her heels. It's like she transformed, in front of me is not the Phoebe that's a sexual violence victim, in front of me is a confident, mystical creature. I grin to myself, _she's definitely going to break hearts._

"This is exhausting. Don't you guys ever get tired of ass-kissing?" Phoebe grumbles when she finally plops herself down at our table.

"Welcome to the business world." I say. I couldn't agree with her more.

 **Phoebe:**

I work on the steak set before me, pretending to be busy so I won't have to make conversations filled with fake smiles and empty compliments. I feel someone tug on my arm. _Mia._ I groan.

"Phoebe. It's time for the first dance auction. You need to come." Mia badgers me and I sent a cry of help with my eyes to dad who quickly comes to my aid.

"Mia, Phoebe's not feeling good, how about you go with Kate. I'm sure someone will get your bid." Dad tells her and surprisingly enough, Mia listens before skipping off in the direction of the rolled out red carpet.

The MC announces the name one by one and I began to tune out his overly-enthusiastic voice until I notice dad. His whole body is tense and I can feel his smoke filled ambers burn into someone. He swallows several times before dropping his fork. I squint my eyes toward the stage and follow dad's gaze. He's staring at a brunette, her blue eyes sparkle among the crystals of the chandelier above her and she looks slightly nervous, fidgeting. A gorgeous red gown is draped over her body with silver beading along the waist and a deep V cut, showing off her slim figure. I look back at dad and then the girl, feeling the hairs on the back of arms stand up, whatever this is, it's intense. Finally, the picture starts to fall into place and I realize this girl must be Anastasia.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this lovely young lady here is Anastasia Steele, she's CEO of her own publishing company, Steele Corp…." The MC goes on, confirming my theory.

Dad stands up. "Sorry, I can't do this anymore, have Taylor drive you home." He tells me and starts to head out.

 _Oh hell no. He's not walking away from his chance of happiness._

I follow after him, my black dress trailing behind me. Several people stare at us in confusion, but I ignore them. "Dad!" I shout when we finally enter the brisk, cold night.

Dad turns around and he's panting. "Phoebe, go back now." He demands but I cross my arms.

"Dad, I know what's going on. That's Anastasia in there and you need to bid on her. You obviously can't forget about her so what's wrong with giving the past another shot?" I demand back and glare.

Dad does not look pleased and he pinches the bridge of his nose. "I thought we've been through this. I'm not good for her. I'm better off alone."

"That's fucking bullshit…" I began but dad snaps.

"Phoebe, language!" He also shoots me a death stare but I am not backing down, not when his happiness is standing literally right before him.

I pull myself a little bit taller and square my shoulders, facing dad. "Dad, I'm calling you bull on that. Nobody deserves to be alone, not even you. Everybody deserves happiness and yours is standing right in front of you. Just for the record, Ana saw you and I can tell by the look in her eyes that she wants you."

"How can you be so sure." Dad actually scoffs at me. I hear people betting on the girl before Anastasia. I need to do something really quick.

"Dad, just go to her, see what she wants, you don't have to propose." I try reasoning with him but he turns around and begins to walk away. "Phoebe, I'm not going. End of conversation." His black boot clicks against the polished floor and I hear someone bid 50,000$ for Anastasia.

I growl in frustration. Insufferable man. "Damn it dad, if you're not willing to fight for your happiness, then I will." I shout behind him, abruptly turning my body around and marching straight through the double doors, my black trail blowing behind me as several people crane their necks to gawk.

"100,000$." I hear my confident, strong voice ring through the walls of the gala and people gasp. The MC looks shocked as his mouth hangs open like a gold-fish. He somehow manages to shut it and glances nervously at Anastasia who looks like she's going to faint.

"Well, it is 2016, I guess girls are also allowed to bid." The MC mutters more to himself and I smirk. I don't care what people think.

I peer behind my shoulder and see dad's staring at me, his eyes wide as saucers as he opens and closes his mouth several times, shuffling around on his feet.

"100,000$ going once, going twice..."

 **A/n**

 **(run and hide) What did you guys think? Please leave a review if you can. Next chapter is in Ana's POV.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8-Another Chance**

 _Sometimes two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together_

 **Ana:**

"Ana!" Gabby gushes, pulling me into a tight hug as I embrace her back. She has all but kidnapped me and dragged me to attend this thing. Logically, I knew it was right to attend this gala, you could always meet influential people here and make new friends but…this was _his_ gala. _Ana! shut up! He left you, you were not enough for him remember? You are successful, you have friends, and you can thank yourself for that, not him. Aren't you over him by now? That was 15 years ago!_ My subconscious unhelpfully adds. I stomp her down, I really don't need her help tonight. I try to reason with myself, it can't be that bad. I mean, he's probably not even here, he lives in Seattle. I try to convince myself that I was way over Christian Grey. Yes, he broke my heart. Yes, he made me feel worthless. But that was in the past, I am happy now and have a job I love, have a great group of friends, a couple of ex-boyfriends. What more could I ask for? Christian Grey was out of my life.

I make my way around the gala, saying hi to people and smiling politely. That's when I notice him, sipping a glass of wine in his impeccably black suit. My stomach churns as my eyes water. I quickly dash my unshed tears away with the back of my hands as I feel the hurt that I suppressed all these years come to surface, his voice echoing in my head on that painful, February night with my backside burning from the lash of the belt.

 _Flashback:_

 _I was laying on his bed, crying, sniffling from the pain. What happened? Christian never punished me. Why would he all the sudden whip me so hard? He stopped when I finally safe-worded after the 7th stroke. I couldn't take the pain anymore. I feel his body weight dip on the bed and turn around to look at him, hoping he would offer me some form of comfort. Maybe cuddling? But instead his cold voice greeted me as he looked away._

" _Ana, you should leave." He says, his voice devoid of emotion._

" _Wait, why?" I sit up, wincing as I sat up and I swore I saw Christian's hand reach for me but he withdraws it back._

" _Because you're not what I want." Was he dismissive reply. New tears spring to my eyes. "But…you…said…you said…I was…more…" I stutter, clutching the sheets around me._

" _I was wrong, you're the worse submissive. You can't even take a little bit of pain, I don't know what I saw in you, but it was false." Tears are now streaming down my face. "But…but…I…I…tried…" I plead with him, I know I'm not good at taking pain but I really did try for him._

 _Christian's grey eyes soften for the shortest of seconds. "I know…I know you tried." He assures me gently and actually leans over to give my cheek a quick peck. The simple gesture somehow made my heart hurt more. His expression turns hard again. "But that's not the point, the point is you're no good for me and I'm no good for you. Ana, leave. You're not meant for this lifestyle and you're not meant for me either. There's a check for your old car and everything I gave you is yours to keep, please take it and leave."_

 _The last thing I remember is running out of the room._

 _End of flashback_

I look at Christian once again, there's a young girl beside him, also dressed in black. _Huh, I thought he was into brunettes_. I think to myself as I take note of her gorgeous copper hair, the same shade as Christian's.

I shove all thoughts of Christian back down, locking it back in the deepest depths of my heart and set out to find Gabby. I need a distraction.

"Gabby, I was just looking for you." I start to say as she grabs my arm and starts pulling me up to the stage.

"Wow, wow, wow…where are we going, slow down missy…" I laugh as she continues to haul our asses to the stage where a bunch of girls were gathered.

"Come on, we're going to miss the first dance auction." I pale. "The what?" I squeak.

"You heard me, the first dance auction. Ana, you're gorgeous, I can't wait to see who bids on you." Gabby starts her charade. My stomach twists and turns. "Gabby…I…I…can't…you go." I try to talk to her.

Gabby rolls her hazel eyes as she gives me another pull. "You are coming with me, like it or not, girl code." She states, huffing slightly and she knew she got me with her pouty face. I guess I'll just have to swallow my pride.

Men gather around the stage and the MC, with his over-the-top blue sparkling suit, starts introducing all of us. Goosebumps travel down my back and I will my brain to not look at the grey ambers bearing into me. I could always know if Christian was in the room when his eyes were fixed on me. I feel my inner goddess stir, waking up from her slumber at the mention of his gaze. " _look, he wants you…he's looking at you."_ she purrs. I stomp her down as well and tell her to shut up. Nope, I don't need her help either. She was the one that got me into this mess in the first place.

I try to remain calm despite the thousands of butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I smile politely at several guys and try to contain all of my emotions but curiosity gets the better of me, I sneak a quick peek at _him_. Our eyes lock and the hairs on the back of my arms stand up, sending electricity through me. It's just now that I take note of the girl beside him. New hurt blooms in me. _He was willing to take her to his gala, to show her off._

I study her closer. She's not his type. For one, she has copper hair and she looks…young…like really young. Oh my god, please don't tell me Christian stoop to the point of pedophilia. I quickly shake my head. No, Christian was a good man, he will never do that even though he's a victim himself. I squint my eyes to look at her closer and see she's studying me also. I try to take in all of her features-tall, lean, copper curls, deep grey eyes, defined jaw, confident…Then it hits me like a ton of brick. This is not his sub. This is his daughter.

The MC finally gets to me and I flash a smile at everyone, trying to forget about Christian. _If he has a daughter that means surely he moved on, but who's her mother? Was Christian hiding her from me? She looks like she's in her late teens, so he had to have had her before he met me. Everything is too confusing._

Christian's gaze continues to penetrate my body as I fidget. Is he gawking at me? Gloating at my uncomfortableness? All of the sudden, he stands up, turning around as he strides out the door, his steps not even missing a beat. _See, he can't even stand the sight of you. Give up Ana!_ My subconscious growls at me and I can't help but feel sad. Couldn't he at least say hi? But as soon as he leaves, his daughter stands also and for the first time, I see how tall she is, almost reaching Christian's height. She marches after her father and I watch her black silhouette disappear behind Christian. She seems upset. Are they in a fight?

The MC continues with his enthusiasm, totally unaware of what happened as he starts the bidding. The girls go off one by one and Ethan bided on Gabby. I smile when I see her squeal with excitement. A middle age man with dirty blonde hair and parakeet green eyes made a bet on me, a wide smirk spread across his face. _Why is he smirking?_ I ignore it as I give him a tight smile, looks like he's going to win my dance. Just as I thought the MC was going to announce him the winner, the two gold double doors fly open and in walks the goddess, dressed in black with her lace dress trailing behind her.

"100,000$." Her voice sounds just like Christian's, leaving no room for argument as it echoes through the hall of the gala. She approaches the stage and I see her porpoise grey eyes encased in the simple black mass. If I didn't know better, I would say she looks slightly dominatrix. Murmurs and whispers erupt through the tables as people gasp at her boldness. A girl bidding on a girl.

The MC somehow finds it in him to shut his gawking mouth and composes himself. His voice is a little shaky but he continues. "100,000 dollars, going once, going twice…"

The girl smirks at me and her grey eyes dance as she offers me a warm smile. I peer behind her and see Christian, still in the same black suit, pants hung just right, bow tie in place. His face has gone slack as the color drained from his body. He doesn't move an inch as his hands hang awkwardly by his side. He finally gulps and then without a wave of his hands, leaves.

The girl shakes her head and gives me another reassuring smile. She extends out her one hand, her fingernails a glimmering shade of emerald blue. I gingerly slide my hand into hers. I don't know what's happening but something tells me if I stay, I'd find out.

"I'm not a lesbian." Are the first words out of her mouth.

I giggle nervously. "That's always good to know, I'm Anastasia, but I like to be called…"

"Ana, because Anastasia makes you feel like you're in trouble." She finishes for me, smiling sweetly as if she knew I didn't expect her to know such personal information.

She takes my hand as she leads me away from the light, food, and crowd. We step out into the back garden and I am grateful for the chilly night air to help calm my nerves.

"I must apologize; you must be so confused but my Dad's being a big wuss so I had to come get you myself." She says, a devious smile hinting by her lips.

"Um…I'm sorry…but when you say…dad…" I try to clarify.

She rolls her eyes. "Yes, my father is Christian Grey, and you're Anastasia Steele."

I can't help it, I giggle. She stops when we reach the middle of the garden surrounded by trees and a fountain. "Before I continue, do you want to see him again? I mean, I don't want to force you into a relationship you don't want."

I blush scarlet. _How do I go about this?_ "Um…I…I…wouldn't mind, but I don't think he…wants…me…" I stutter. Phoebe laughs, throwing her hair back as her grey eyes glimmer.

"Trust me, he does. He's just too afraid to admit it.

She dials a number on her phone, positively smirking. "Hi Tay Tay!" she chirps and I can only imagine Taylor's stoic face grimacing at the nickname.

"Yes, can you turn the car around and bring dad back, there's a special someone that wants to meet him." She winks at me.

We stand around chatting for a minute or two and formally introduce ourselves when a black Audi pulls to the side and out comes a very, _very_ unhappy Christian, his copper hair is ruffled and his previously smooth bow tie is undone at the neck.

"I swear Taylor, if you didn't work for me for so long, I would fire your fucking ass this instance. Why the hell did you disobey my fucking order and turn the car back around?" he grumbles and I feel my body's natural reaction easing towards him but the nerves put an abrupt stop to that. He obviously didn't want to see me, I retreat behind Phoebe's back, using her as my personal safety shield.

Phoebe clears her throat loudly, getting Christian's attention. Christian stills when he catches a glimpse of my red dress peeking out behind Phoebe's back and she gently tugs a very reluctant me out from my hiding spot.

"Hi Christian." My voice is small, mouse-like as I cast my eyes down so he can't see my blush.

"Anastasia." His voice is horse, thick with emotion and I glance a quick sneak at him.

Time stands still as we both just stare at each other until finally Phoebe rolls her eyes and exclaims. "Dad!", snapping Christian out of his funk.

He stalks toward me, burning grey ambers never leaving me and he softly cups my cheek as I lower my eyes.

"Look at me." his command is soft, concerned. I glance up at him and his deft fingers sweep over my cheek and before I know it, his arms come around and I am engulfed into a huge bear hug as he lifts me off my feet.

I let my arms hang loosely around him, afraid to touch him but Christian doesn't let go, inhaling the scent of my hair.

"I missed you, Ana." he whispers in my ear as shivers travel straight through my body. I already feel my body convulsing towards him, giving into his every demand.

He finally lets me go while his grey eyes greedily take in the sight of me. After several minutes of us just staring at each other, he realizes what he has done as he runs his hands through his hair and his eyes wonder all over the place, looking at everything but me. "I…I…I…didn't mean…I…um…" he runs his hands through his hair again and for the first time, Christian Grey looks flustered.

I giggle. "It's fine Christian. I missed you too." I reply, smiling and his eyes light up like a child's on Christmas day. His voice disbelieving. "You did?"

I shyly nod, not bothering to hide my blush this time. "A lot actually." I whisper and he grins his boyish grin. He extends out one hand. "May I have this dance?" he asks, readjusting his bow tie.

I giggle. "yes, sir." I say, sliding my palm into his and feel electricity shoot through my body but his eyes quickly dart away when I mention sir. Truly, I just wanted it to be an innocuous joke but his demeanor changed so fast with that one word.

"You don't have to call me that, Ana." he whispers quietly but leads me to the dance floor. "Come on, let's dance. You know I am paying the 100,000$ that my rebellious, teenage daughter bided on you, right?"

"Well, I do hope you get your money's worth." I tease and Christian's eyes darken.

"Oh, how I missed your smart mouth." He comments, spinning me out into the dance floor and tugs me back in so I fall snuggly in his chest.

"So, Phoebe's your daughter? She's very beautiful, like her father." Christian grins and his eyes shown with unadulterated pride. "She is, isn't she? But I have been a shitty dad." He says, eyes darting away once again. I can tell he doesn't want to talk about it so I don't push.

He brings me in as one of his hands rest protectively around my waist as I lightly lay mine on his shoulder. "You're a great father, I can tell it in your eyes." I quietly reassure him and he tightens his hold.

We continue to dance and sway to the music, chatting amicably and avoiding any unhappy subject for now. I know, I know we should talk before anything else, that I should keep my distance. But with Christian it was too easy, it was too easy to forgive him, too easy to love him instead of fear him. So for now, I relish in the feeling of being held in Christian's strong arms, of being able to hold him again. And when Christian gently lays his chin on my head and softly kisses my hair as I snuggle in a little bit closer, I feel the fragments in my heart start to slowly piece themselves back together.

We dance slowly to the music and somehow ended up outside by the bank, a full moon shinning high above us. Christian takes off his coat and lightly drapes it around me, his warm body heat still emanating off of the Italian leather, shielding me from the cold air.

We find a spot by the river to sit down and I lay my head on his shoulder as he kisses my hair once again. It was like those 15 years didn't matter, like time picked up exactly where it left off, like my heart was whole again.

"Ana." My name is a tortured whisper on his lips. I blink up at him and the palpable pain in his grey eyes. His fingers sweep over my messy fringe, tucking it behind my ear. "Ana. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have…ever…beat you, shouldn't have ever said those things to you."

"It's ok, it's not like you were wrong, I am a pretty bad submissive." I joke and Christian cracks a sad smile.

"On that, we can both agree. But Ana, I know you tried even though some things terrified you, that's what makes you so brave. I'm sorry I betrayed that trust."

I give him a half shrug, not knowing how to respond.

"Ana, I want you back. I know I don't deserve you, but I want you." Christian confesses as my heart shutters.

"I want you too, but…" I trial off.

"But?" Christian coaxes, rubbing my back.

"But I don't think I can do that again." I whisper. It's true, I can't subject myself to being physically beaten.

"Oh Ana." Christian sighs, cupping my cheek so I am forced to look at him. "Ana." My name is somehow more convincing on his tongue. "Ana, I don't want you to be my submissive. I promise you from this point on, I won't allow anyone to hurt you, even if it's by myself. This time, you can roll your eyes at me all you want." He lightly jokes.

I giggle. "So you're saying that when I roll my eyes, your palm won't even be a little bit twitchy?" I ask, making a show of rolling my eyes skyward.

Christian scrunches up his face for the shortest of second. "Well, maybe they are still a little bit twitchy…" he says, his gaze darkening as his arms come around, scooping me up.

"I'm glad, I wouldn't want you to completely lose your edge, Mr. Grey." I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively at him as he lets out a deep, primitive growl.

And even though I know we still have a lot to talk about, I know in my heart that I am willing to take Christian back, to be honest, I have never let him go.

Tentatively, Christian brings his lips just above mine, silently asking for permission and I lean in closer. Christian stands up, with me still in his arms and never breaking our kiss as he walks toward his car with a grinning Taylor.

Vaguely, I am aware that I have somehow abandoned my two red heels.

 **A/n-What did you guys think? Yea or nay?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9-Healing a broken heart**

 _You broke my heart, but I still loved you with all the pieces._

 **Christian:**

My arms are wrapped protectively around Ana in the car. "Where to, Sir?" Taylor asks. I look to Ana who gives me a little shrug. "Steaming Mugs." I answer. It's a cute coffee shop close by; I know we should talk before anything else.

"Go find a place for us. I'll get us beverages. Twinning's still your favorite?" I ask, squeezing Ana's hand.

"Yes please, but can you get me sugar and milk also?" Ana asks.

I nod. "Sugar and milk it is then." Ana chooses a place by the window, sitting herself down as she gazes out into the night sky, her red gown hangs effortlessly over her curves. _We must look ridiculous so dressed up in a coffee shop._ I join her with our beverages and a cupcake for Ana that has _sweetheart_ scribbled across it in pink frosting.

Ana looks at the cupcake I got her and a beautiful giggle bubbles up. "Sweetheart?" she asks, trying not to snort with laughter.

I give her a shameful smile, kind of hurt that she would laugh at what I hoped was a sweet gesture (pun excluded). The moment Ana sees my sad smile, she reaches over and takes my hand in hers.

"Thank you, Christian." She says and I immediately relax at her reassuring smile.

I watch her lick the frosting off the cupcake and I reach over, wiping off a smidge of whipped cream from her mouth as I see her pretty blush creep over her cheeks.

Ana stares at me, blinking though blue eyes that conceal her emotions. I think she perfected her CEO look as well.

"You know you can ask me anything, right?" I prompt softly and Ana hesitates.

"Where's Phoebe's mom?" she asks, rubbing my hands. It's like she knows how hard it is for me to talk about this.

I look up. "I would like to think that she's with angels…" I say. It's true. Leila was a good girl, even though our relationship was strictly professional and I didn't feel anything for her, I would like to hope that she's in a safe place now. Lord knows, she has suffered enough on earth.

Ana gasps. "You mean she died?" she says, covering her mouth.

I nod solemnly. "Yes. Phoebe is Leila's baby. I think I mentioned her to you before when you asked about my previous subs. She committed suicide. Her husband was abusive to say the least. This all happened before you. Phoebe's 17. When Leila left, she was already two years old. I didn't know about Phoebe until…" I swallow, not sure if I am able to go on.

Ana comes to sit on my lap and softly runs her fingers through my hair. "Until?" She asks, caressing my cheeks.

"Until the night before I made you leave." I confess and see the flicker of sadness return to Ana's eyes, her hand stilling on my cheek as tears pool in her baby blues.

"Is that why…why…you hurt me? Because you…you didn't think that I would accept Phoebe?" Ana asks, a solidary tear rolling down her cheek. I wipe it away with my thumb.

"That's a partial reason, but Ana, I could see the way you looked at me. You were falling in love with me and Ana, _sweetheart,_ I'm not lovable. You were going to get yourself hurt sooner or later."

"So you decided sooner." Ana finishes for me. I nod, truly ashamed.

"Do you think you're still unlovable? Because Christian, that's false. I know you have your flaws or issues, but you were, you _are_ perfect to me."

I blink back tears in vain and Ana carefully wipes the moisture away from the corners of my eye. "How can you still say that after what I'd done. Ana, I broke your heart." I say, my voice strains.

"Because I still loved you with all the pieces." And somehow just like that, we found ourselves back into each other's arms, our tongues back into each other's lips, our souls back into each other's heart.

 **Ana:**

I am snuggled in Christian's arms as we ride the elevator up to the Sheraton hotel. "Why a hotel?" I giggle.

Christian smirks. "Because Ms. Steele, if I remember correctly you were always quite loud and I don't want my daughter to hear us fucking into the middle of the night."

I raise my eyebrows, feigning shock. "What makes you so sure I'd let you fuck me, Mr. Grey?" I tease but Christian immediately furrows his eyebrows.

"Baby, we don't have to. Did I misread? I completely understand if you don't want to and that you need some distance…." He starts to go off but is silenced by me kissing him.

"Christian, darling, relax…I want to." I tell him as he hoists me a little higher around his waist, raising an eyebrow.

"100%?" he asks.

"200." I respond and before I know it, I am pressed up against the elevator with my hands pined above my head, my legs wrapped around his as he grinds into me. I feel his bulge poking my stomach and I can't help but giggle.

"Are you laughing at my junk, Ms. Steele?" Christian's voice is laced with amusement which makes me somehow laugh harder.

"I'm sorry, this just reminds me of the first night I stayed with you." I laugh.

"When you were shit drunk?" Christian hums, running his nose along my neck as I _try_ to keep my body still.

I giggle, nodding. "Well, Ms. Steele, elevators somehow always seem to get the best of us." His tongue teases me as he gently nibbles on my ear, sending waves of pleasure through me.

"Ahhh, Christian you're killing me." I moan, my fingers lacing through his hair.

"Not my intention, sweetheart." Christian mutters against me.

The elevator dings open. "Hold on." Christian says as I wrap myself a little tighter around him and he walks us to the hotel suite.

When he reaches the bed, he gently lays me down. "Are you still sure about this?" He asks, apprehension clear in his grey eyes.

"Yes, Christian. Please." I beg.

All of the sudden, Christian pulls me up so my body is flushed up against him.

"Undress me." he whispers in my ear, his voice shaky.

"Christian, your chest." I gasp, tears clouding my eyes when I feel his taunt muscle trembling underneath my fingertips at how afraid he is.

" _Baby,_ It's ok, you don't have to…" I say, caressing his cheek as I withdraw my hands, but Christian grabs my wrist.

"No, Ana. You need to, I _need_ to. I want you to touch me. You and Phoebe both deserve to…I know you guys will never hurt me, so I…I think I can…" Christian says, grey eyes down casted and I sit on the soft bed, my dress tangling with my feet.

"Come here." I say and Christian steps closer. "You know you can stop me right?" I ask, rubbing my hands up and down his arms. He nods and I lean in so our foreheads are touching.

His eyes are trained on me as I slowly slide my hand down and undo his top button, moving my fingers down inch by inch until his shirt is finally undone. I can feel his heart pounding underneath my hand and his breathing is labored, but he keeps his eyes fixed on me.

"Color?" I ask, tentatively brushing my fingers against the smatter of copper chest hair and his heart beat quickens.

"Gre..een." He stutters, forehead still against mine. I don't need to look to know where his scars are, I have memorized him.

My fingers gingerly cross over each scar. And finally breaking eye contact, I gently wet my lips with my tongue and leaning down, I kiss each and every one of the round, little, burnt scars.

"You're perfect, please don't ever hide from me." I murmur against him and suddenly, Christian is kissing me with all of his passion.

"Ana, _you're_ the one that's going to kill me." Christian pants between breath.

"Not my intention, sweetheart." I throw his words back at him and watch him smirk.

He chucks his pants and boxers with one swift motion as I quickly shimmer out of my dress. I take his erection firmly in my hand and was about to mount him when he stops me, his fingertips slightly digging into my hips as he gently flips us over so he's on top.

"Eager are we, Ms. Steele." He growls playfully in my ear and I mewl with pleasure.

"Christian, please…" I beg.

"Shhh. I need this to be gentle, I need to feel you. We've always went too far, too fast. It's time we give gentle a try." He hushes in my ear and I feel wetness soak through me.

"Please…" I try again as Christian swirls his tongue around my nipples. "Good things come to those who wait." He slightly chastises in my ear and if I wasn't so turned on, I would probably punch him.

"Christian…if you don't enter me this second, then I'm calling this off." I huff as a last attempt.

Christian gives me his lopsided grin. "Oh Ana, that wouldn't bother me, this time, this is going to be about you." He says as he uses his pointer finger to gently rub my jewel.

I feel like ripping out my hair. I never had this need, this wanton in me. It's like I transformed. "Fine, then you can be the one that takes a cold shower." I cross my arms over my chest and roll my eyes, knowing that the defiance gesture would turn him on.

Christian's eyes dance with mirth as he plants another kiss to my lips. "There's my girl…" he coos.

"Please, Christian, please make love to me." I try one last time.

I didn't have to ask twice as Christian rolls into me, rocking our bodies together as he gently pulls out, only to slowly come back in again.

 _I think he's actually trying to kill me._

"Faster…" I pant and he picks up the pace, slamming into me.

"Fuck…Ana, I'm not going to last…" He grunts as I wrap my arms around him, bringing him down with me. "How can you…still be…so fucking…tight." He moans as I come with a shout of his name. Christian soon follows as my walls contract around him.

We collapse on the bed, bathing in our post-orgasmic high. I cuddle up into Christian's opening arms.

"Christian…I'm tired…" I yawn, turning around to face him.

Christian's deep chuckles rumbles through his lungs and the bed. "I bet. Sleep baby."

"Don't leave me." I whisper, clutching him a little tighter.

Christian leans down and tenderly kisses each of my droopy eyelids. " _never again."_ He quietly assures me, laying his chin on my head as I drift into a peaceful slumber.

 **Ana-next morning.**

I feel light kisses being pressed against my temple, then my nose, my cheeks, my ears, my neck, my collarbone…

I blink open one sleepy eye to see Christian hovering above me, only in his boxers, as he smothers my face with kisses.

"wake up, sleepyhead, breakfast is here." My ears perk up at the mention of food. God, I'm famished. I sit up, not bothering to hide my naked breasts.

Christian is sitting indie style on the bed as he tries to balance the tray of pancakes and orange juice on his lap.

I sit across from him and gingerly take a sip of orange juice as Christian cuts the pancakes, almost knocking the whole tray over.

We eat in relative silence, occasionally joking and when I'm done, Christian leans over, his arm bracing the headboard so he doesn't crush me with his weight, as he kisses me.

"Ewww, Christian, my morning breath." I groan, but meet his lips anyway.

Christian grins. "you could never smell bad to me, baby." My heart flutters as my inner goddess stretches out in her bed as well.

"Come on, let's take a shower. You're all sweaty." Christian says, easily lifting me up as he sets me down in the shower, keeping his arms around me as if I'd fall.

Steam soon envelopes us and Christian's fingernails are slightly massaging my scalp. _A girl could get use to this._ I moan as Christian chuckles. "Feels good, baby?" I hum an agreement and bent back as he gives another kiss to my lips.

"I'm glad. Now, just relax and let me wash you." I agree happily. Christian meticulously washes every inch of my body. I feel the tight muscle in his hand flex as he rubs them down my back. I still when he reaches my butt.

He gently cups my one ass cheek in his hands. "Ana, I'm so sorry." And I know he's referring to the belting.

I turn around and slide my hands around his shoulders, my fingers gliding easily because of the soapy water. "Christian, I forgive you. And you stop when I safe-worded. Hmmm?" I ask, trying to lighten his mood because I can't bear to see my fifty sad.

He nods but guilt's still swimming in his eyes. His eyes are down casted as he stares at our bodies pressed together, and then bending down, he tenderly kisses each buttock. I can feel his apology on me as his lips convey what his words could never say.

"ohh." All rational thought flees my brain as I arch up towards him.

Two hours later we are dressed in jeans and the two sweatshirts Taylor brought us. I laugh when I look at us again in the hotel mirror. QUEEN is vandalized in big, white letters across my black sweatshirt and Christian's the same, except his reads KING.

Christian examines us in the mirror as well and his expression is somewhere between amusement and mortification. He finally shakes his head. "You know, I think my daughter was in the car with Taylor. She's the only one that can come up with… _this."_ He helplessly gestures between us as I bite my lips, forcing myself not to laugh.

 _I fucking love this girl already._

 **Christian:**

I look down at my fingers interlaced with Ana's on the drive back. Her head is nestled on my shoulder as I absentmindedly stroke her chestnut hair, kissing the top of her head. The drive back to my parents is relatively silent, with both of us just resting on each other. I feel the void in my heart began to heal up when Ana cuddles closer to me and I let my arm rub her back, tracing the word QUEEN on her sweatshirt. She is my queen.

I would never admit to anyone that I fucking love the sweatshirts. No, my macho image certainly can't withstand such a blow to my manly ego, but it was either going out topless or with the sweatshirts. I see that Phoebe has somehow convinced Taylor to join her on her game of sneaky cupid.

I trace the words again and a smile graces my lips. Ana's back. She's here, in my arms. _Mine._

And this time, I'm never letting her go, never hurting her again. This time, I'll give her what she deserved all along-my heart and every single flower on this damn planet.

The house is quiet when we step in. Everybody is still sleeping from the party last night; Elliot is passed out on the couch. Ana and I left early, but I know it lasted till 2am.

Phoebe is sitting by the kitchen island with Taylor, both of them sipping black coffee and whispering in hush tones.

"You're fired." My smile lets Taylor knows I'm not serious as I point to our sweatshirts.

Taylor and Phoebe give each other a sideway glance, their eyes dancing. Phoebe finally can't stop her lips from curling up as she bursts out laughing.

"You owe me 20 dollars, Tay Tay." She smirks as Taylor shakes his head, taking out a 20-dollar bill from his pocket and sliding it across the table.

"You made a bet on me?" I ask, my voice disbelieving. _The shit these two do, I swear._

Phoebe nods her head proudly. "Yep." She says, popping the p. "Taylor was so convinced that you were going to come home topless."

Ana can't stop herself from laughing, and soon enough I'm joining in. Our sounds of laughter ring through Grace's house and for the first time, I think I'm in love.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10-Accepted and Unaccepted**

 _Sometimes we need someone to simply be there, not to fix anything or do anything in particular, but just to let us know that we are cared for and supported._

 **Christian:**

"RED!" Phoebe's scream pierces through the night sky, startling Ana and me out of bed. Ana winces as I abruptly pull out of her.

I don't have time to apologize as we both leap to our feet. I throw a night gown in Ana's direction and we both sprint down the hall, our pounding feet echoing through the corridor. The door rattles against the wall when it slams open. Ana closely follows me as I rush in, a ripple of fear traveling across my shoulder blade as I crouch by Phoebe.

"re..d" Phoebe whimpers as tears stream down her face. Thin sheets of sweat coat her body and copper hair is matted all over her hollow face. I shake her awake, keeping a firm grip on her shoulders, as she continues to struggle helplessly against the tangled covers. Vaguely, I am aware that Ana has come to sit by me.

Frightened, wide grey eyes flash open. "red." Phoebe whispers, still disoriented. I hug her towards me. "Shhh, sweat pea, you're safe. It's me. Dad." I whisper yell, trying to wake her.

Phoebe trembles in my arms and Ana caresses her back although confusion is clear on her face as she furrows her eyebrows. Phoebe's shaking and crying, trying desperately to get control over her breathing. _Shit, shit, shit, I should've known she would have nightmares. How can she not? God, I'm so stupid. I forgot about her because I was so focused on Ana._

"Shhh, baby, can you take some deep breaths for me?" I ask, rubbing her back as Phoebe hiccups to catch her breath. I look at Ana, my eyes pleading with her to understand. I was going to explain what happened but it was all too soon.

Ana's eyes soften as I continue to hush Phoebe. Taylor's quiet shadow appears before the doorway, holding a tall glass of water. Ana gives him a grateful smile as she takes the cup and holds it up to Phoebe's mouth, gently urging her to take a sip. Phoebe sniffles but obediently slurs some water and Ana offers her a warm smile for encouragement.

My mouth goes dry and I rack my fingers through my knotted hair when I spot mom, Carrick, Mia, and Elliot huddled by the doorway. I sigh deeply, rubbing my hands over my face as Taylor smiles a sympathetic smile.

He sits down next to us and tries to pull Phoebe into a hug but she clings onto me tighter. It's not that Phoebe doesn't trust Taylor; it's she's still scared. "Sweet pea?" I coax as I wipe away some of her tears with the pads of my thumbs. Phoebe looks up at me with teary eyes and I press a warm kiss to her forehead, allowing my lips to linger longer than usual.

"How about you go sit with Taylor for few minutes while I…" I gesture towards my family and Phoebe hugs me tighter, sniveling into my chest. "but…but…they don't know about that do they?" She asks, burying her face in my neck as her hot tears soak through my shirt. I feel the little, clear droplets of water roll down my back.

"No sweet pea, they don't. We can't hide it forever though. I'll explain everything and you just go sit with Taylor ok?"

 _I'm trying to be strong for her._

"But they'll hate me…" Phoebe whispers. I shake my head. _How can she think that? it's me they are going to hate._

Ana wraps us both in a hug. She speaks in a hushed tone. "Phoebe, sweetie, I don't know what happened." Ana gives me a pointed look but continues. "and I don't know you very well, but I can already promise you that I will never hate you, no matter what." Ana whispers just loud enough so only the three of us can hear.

I rub Phoebe's back. "Don't be afraid, sweet pea. I'll be right back, ok? Hour tops." I tell her and she nods in my chest as I kiss her hairline once again.

"Ok, baby, go to Taylor." I nudge her. Phoebe smears her tears with her long pajama sleeves as Taylor hugs her. I hear him saying something about calling Gail and that he wanted her to show him how to use skype. Phoebe gives a little laugh admits her tears. Trust Taylor to be the one that's able to bring my little girl back.

Carrick clears his throat. "Son, we'll give you a few minutes with Ana. Everybody in my study, now." He commands and I smile my gratitude. Taylor supports Phoebe's weight in his strong arms as he walks her to the security room so she has some privacy.

And now, It's just me and Ana left in the empty room. I try to swallow back the lump in my throat as I choke on a strangled sob, my misty eyes unable to hide their red rims.

I began to break down when Ana sweeps me up in her warm embrace, her delicate fingers softly stroking my hair becoming my undoing. She doesn't say a word and gently lays me down.

"You want to tell me what happened really quick or do you want to tell me with your family? Hmmm?" she asks. I snivel in her chest, feeling like a baby.

"I don't want to tell anyone." I murmur, being honest.

Ana interlace our hands and gives my fingers a squeeze. "Christian, it's not healthy keeping everything to yourselves." Ana slightly chastises, dabbing my tears with the hem of her white night gown.

She's right, _of course_. I adamantly shake my head "it's too painful to tell." I choke. Ana cradles my head in her lap, lightly peppering my face with kisses. "Close your eyes." She instructs.

I do as I'm told.

Ana continues to hold me, keeping her hands softly but firmly on my scalp, the gentle pressure keeping me grounded. "Now try." She says, her voice gentle.

I swallow "about a month ago." My voice cracks. "Phoebe…was blackmailed." I swallow more as Ana rubs my shoulder.

"and?" she softly prompts.

I screw my eyes shut. "And she was blackmailed into being a submissive by...pictures…of me." I squeeze out and Ana gasps.

"Christian..." Ana says, pulling me into her. I continue. "Phoebe…didn't…didn't tell anyone, she kept it all to herself until…until I found her, all beaten and abused." I don't bother to hide the tears running down my cheeks anymore. The last time I cried was when Ana left.

 _God, I hate myself when I cry. I'm supposed to be strong for both of them._

"I…I don't know what he did specifically to her…all I know is that she was canned and rapped, both vaginally and anally." I say, remembering the cane welts, butt plugs and Dr. Green's visit. I summon up all the courage I have and glance into Ana's blue ambers glistening with tears.

I sniffle a little bit more. "I should go see my family." I finally confess.

Ana leans in, keeping the support of her hands on my back. "Ok, do you want me to come with you?" She asks.

I shake my head. _This is my own battle._

"No, I need to do this myself." I say. I stumble a little as my legs become wobbly, unstable noodles as Ana helps me up.

She gives me a sad yet understanding smile. "Ok, holler if you need me. I'm going to go see if Phoebe wants someone to sit with her. _Poor baby_." Ana murmurs the last part more to herself.

I smile through tears. "Thank you." were the only two words that made it out. Ana was what Phoebe needed all along.

Ana embraces me. "Remember your family and I love you Christian, no matter what." She stands on her tip toe and gives me a kiss on the edge of my nose before disappearing down the hall.

 **Ana:**

I knock softly on the security room and Taylor comes to open the door. "Christian told you?" he asks, avoiding my gaze.

I nod solemnly. "Yes…I was wondering if Phoebe wanted me to sit with her." I see Taylor's shoulders slump as he exhales the breath he's been holding.

"That would be great. Ana, she hasn't stop crying. I don't know what to do." Taylor silently says, a look of utter lost on his face. I pull him into a hug; I can't imagine what they all have gone through in the past week.

"I've been trying to get her to read or watch some TV. You know, to distract her, but nothing's working. Her nightmare was one of the worst I'd seen." Taylor says and I shudder when I think about Christian's old nightmares.

Taylor leads me to the back room where Phoebe's curled up. The comedy Neighbors is lightly buzzing in the background. Her pale lips tremble despite the funny scene playing on TV. I take note of her heavy bags and long distressed hair as she folds herself up even smaller in the blanket.

Taylor knocks against the wooden door frame twice. "Phoebe, you have a visitor." He announces and cracks a small smile before leaving us alone. Phoebe looks up, tears streaming down her face.

"Hey sweetie…" I say quietly. Her face begins to crumble when I start to slowly approach her. "You hate me now, don't you?" her voice strains and I quicken my pace, sitting down and squeezing her towards me.

"no, no, no, not at all." I say rushed, hugging her.

"I'm so stupid, now dad has to explain…all…of this, what if they don't want…us anymore?" She chokes, her tears traveling faster than she can wipe them.

"No, no…nobody hates you guys, especially you. Phoebe, what you did was selfless, even if you should've told someone. Very few people can do what you did. Very few people can be so brave" I say, stroking her back.

I smear Phoebe's tears away from the corners of her eyes. "You want to know a secret?" I ask. Phoebe hesitates but eventually nods, curiosity getting the better of her.

I mentally prepare myself. "When I first met your dad and he proposed his _wants_ to me." I see Phoebe grimace so I hug her tighter. "Phoebe, I was so scared. I cannot tell you how much some of that stuff terrified me. But that being said, your dad was very kind. I had safe words and everything we did was with my consent. I can only imagine what your fear is like." I say, my heart going out to her. The fact that she can put on a strong façade and face day to day life alone proves how strong she is.

Phoebe starts sobbing, hiccupping hard to catch her breath. I press her into me and start rocking her from side to side. "Shhh…."

"I'm so scared…he'd never stop, no matter how much I begged." She cries as I continue to sooth her. "Shhh…shhh…it's alright, _you're_ alright."

"The nightmare…felt so real…" she sobs her heart out and I hold her. Sometimes, you just needed to be held. Phoebe gives up and cries on my shoulder.

I don't say anything except for the occasional "shhh…" as I keep my arms around her. Finally, Phoebe cries herself out and her body goes limp in mine.

"Come on, let's get you back in bed, yeah?" I ask, keeping my arms around her and brining her back under the cozy covers, making sure they're all tucked in tight.

I get a warm washcloth and wipe away all of her salty tracks and brush out her knotted hair before kissing her goodnight.

"Thank you." She says weakly.

"Anytime." I whisper but she didn't hear me as her eyes already fluttered closed. I smile to myself and carefully lay beside her. I don't feel ok with leaving her alone tonight.

 **Christian:**

I told my family everything. How I got started in BDSM, how I noticed Phoebe's wince, how I found her, how Phoebe was blackmailed. I showed them the pictures, contracts, Phoebe's medical reports… _everything._

I know they hate me now _. Who wouldn't?_

Grace has tears rolling down her face. "So…when you said Phoebe…had a hard time in school."

"I was lying. I took her here so she can escape for a while." I tell the truth. Grace clasps her hands over her mouth to stop her sobs but fails. Carrick takes her in his arm, giving me a disappointed look.

Mia has fled the room the moment I took out the pictures. Elliot is sitting, expressionless, on the chair. "Christ, was Ana your?" He asks.

I nod, ashamed. "Yes, although she's not anymore." I answer. Elliot becomes silent once again.

Grace wipes her tears in vain. "I can't believe Elena…I knew something was wrong with her…when the reports came out…about the money scandal…but…I…how can I…befriend a pedophile?" Grace sobs. "I…I…handed my own son over…" She weeps, breaking my non-existent heart.

"Don't cry, mama, I choose it myself." I say, I was about to stand and give her hug but stop my tracks when Carrick gives me a stern look.

"Son, I think it's best if you leave." Carrick says, his voice low. Grace eyes widen. "Honey, you can't be serious, Phoebe…" she tugs on his sleeve.

Carrick's voice is filled with authority as he speaks. I would even argue he sounds a little bit dominant. "No, Grace. Phoebe stays here. I've taught my son that I man should never hit a woman but… _this…this_ is unacceptable." He flings the pictures at me as they scatter through the air, their white pages mocking me as they float around.

I hang my head, truly contrite. The thing is, I can't even argue with him. I am a monster in my truest form. I'll come back and get Phoebe when she's ready to go home.

"Chris, Dad's right. You should go." Elliot says, siding with Dad as he looks away. I know my big brother is beating himself up this very instant but he can't just ignore what he saw.

I nod, swallowing. "I'm just going to go say goodnight to Phoebe and Ana." I whisper. Grace stops me, shooting Carrick a mad look as she abruptly gets off of him, shoving his outreached hand away. "Christian, you're not actually leaving are you?" She pleads with me.

I nod, kissing her cheek. "I'm sorry mama, but I think it's best if I stay away for a few days." I quietly head to Phoebe's room after clicking the study door shut.

My heart melts when I see Phoebe sound asleep, head on Ana's lap as soft snores escape her parted lips. Ana is humming a calming lullaby as I stand by the doorway, listening.

 _Little one, lie with me_ _  
_ _Sew your heart to my sleeve_ _  
_ _We'll stay quiet_ _  
_ _Underneath shooting stars_ _  
_ _If it helps you sleep_

 _And hold me tight_ _  
_ _Don't let me breathe_ _  
_ _Feeling like_ _  
_ _You won't believe_

 _There's a firefly_ _  
_ _Loose tonight_ _  
_ _Better catch it_ _  
_ _Before it burns this place down_ _  
_ _And I lie_ _  
_ _If I don't feel so right_ _  
_ _But the world looks better_ _  
_ _Through your eyes_

Ana finishes and looks up at me, making a shush sign and pointing to Phoebe. I nod, smiling sadly.

 _How can Ana be so perfect for Phoebe when they are practically strangers?_

I come to her side as Ana rubs my shoulder. "How did it go?" she asks, concern clear in her blue ovals.

I fix my gaze on the ground. "Carrick wants me to leave." Ana eyes widen.

"Christian…how could he?" She whispers loudly. Her voice raising with each syllable but she immediately calms down when she feels Phoebe stir from the noise.

"I'll call you later ok?" I ask, giving her a chaste kiss. Ana furrows her eyebrows. "No, Christian. I'm coming with you." She says, stubbornly crossing her arms in the way I love.

"No, babe, stay with Phoebe. She needs you more. I'll come by tomorrow and maybe we can all go out for lunch or something." I suggest. Ana thinks about it and then hesitantly nods.

"I don't want to leave her by herself after…" She trails off, stroking Phoebe's long, copper hair. I smile at both my girls.

"I'll take her to our room so you can sleep also." I say and Ana nods even though I can tell she's still upset.

I gently scoop Phoebe up, supporting her neck so she won't jostle awake and Ana grabs the blankets as we make it back to my old room.

I lay Phoebe on the soft bed, folding the duvets over. "Get in." I order Ana and she obeys. I make sure both of them are equally covered by the blankets.

"Good night, sweet dreams." I say, kissing each of my girls on the forehead before slipping out into the chilly, fall night.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11-Where is Dad?**

 _No matter how old she may be, sometimes a girl just needs her Dad._

 **Phoebe:**

I roll over, further burying myself into the safety of my blankets and shielding my body from the hot sun streaming through the pale window.

 _Ugh. How the fuck is it already morning?_

"Phoebe? Phoebe, sweetie?" I hear a soft voice coax as I pretend to be asleep.

 _Maybe if I play dead, we can forget about last night._

"Phoebe, sweetie? Are you awake?" soft fingers start tickling me and I recognize the smiling voice as Ana's.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm awake." I mumble, finally deciding that playing dead won't work as I blink open a sleepy eye.

Ana's own artic eyes greet me as I reluctantly sit up and lean against the pillows, too embarrassed to look up. I'm sure my face is still streaky from crying ten buckets of tears last night.

 _Perhaps playing dead was the better idea._

Ana rubs my back. "Here, drink this. Dad's order." She says, smiling her warm smile that could melt the coldest of hearts as she hands me a tall glass of orange juice accompanied by two, little, red pills of Advil.

I internally roll my eyes. _That's such a thing my dad will do._

But despite the urge to argue with Dad's controlling tendency, I gratefully take the medicine and allow the cool liquid to sooth my raspy throat.

As I continue to sip the last couple droplets of orange juice and gather my bearings, I strain my ears and try to pick up hints of dad's whereabouts. Maybe the water of the shower running? Maybe the rattle of the weights? Maybe the soft sound of the piano?

But nothing. Grace's usual loud house is eerily quiet, not even the familiar clatter of breakfast pans can be heard.

 _That's strange, Dad wouldn't leave me alone, would he? He has been so caring ever since and Ana's still here._

I crawl out of bed and ignore the fact that I ended up in Dad's bed last night. He must have carried me up.

"Phoebe, there's something you should know." Ana begins and I groan, knowing it has something to do with last night.

I know it's immature to run away from my problems, but still…I don't want to face the consequences of my nightmare, at least, not until after breakfast.

"Can it please wait till after breakfast?" I beg Ana, giving her my best puppy dog eyes and I assume it's working because she seems to hesitate a bit.

"Ok, hurry though, let's get breakfast before everyone wakes up." Ana mutters while agreeing to my request and we head down the silent stairs.

But as soon as my foot touch the cold tiles, I freeze. Grace is standing by the empty island, glaring daggers at Carrick and Elliot while Mia just tugs on her sweatshirt beside Grace and Kate is shushing a crying Ava in the corner.

I decide it's useless to delay the inevitable and head towards the kitchen before Ana can stop me. _Time to face the Music._

I cautiously approach the kitchen like I'm approaching a pack of caged lions.

"Phoebe! Oh my gosh, sweetie, we didn't know…we…you…." Words explode faster out of Grace's mouth than I can comprehend as she sweeps me up into her embrace.

"Um…hi grandma…" I giggle, perhaps inappropriately, patting her on the back. And when I finally pull out of her arms and gaze into her caramel eyes gleaming with unshed tears, I feel my own resolve begin to crack all over again.

 _Not the waterworks Phoebe! You've cried enough!_

"Oh my poor grandbaby." Grace hushes, sweaty hands continuing to caress my face.

"Um…grandma. Where's dad?" I ask, smiling through tears as I look around for Dad. Don get me wrong, grandmas are nice and everything but all I want is to snuggle up into one of Dad's warm hugs. He's the one that went through everything with me, he's the one that I leaned on and asked for comfort, he's the one that always dried my tears and I really, really just want a hug from him.

 _My dad gives the best hugs._ I was disappointed that I didn't get to see him again last night.

The room becomes deathly quiet and I immediately sense that something's wrong. Carrick stares out the window while Elliot darts away from my questioning eyes. Grandma hugs me tighter and Mia joins as well.

"Phoebe, why don't you come back to my room. We can get ready and go find dad…ok?" Ana asks, tip toeing over as she reaches a tentative hand to stroke my hair but I flinch away.

"No." I state, pushing Grandma and Mia away. "Where. Is. Dad?" I ask, this time, you can hear the desperation in my voice.

They stare at me with wide eyes as I begin to back away. I turn around and run up the stairs, taking the steps three at a time. I fling open each and every door. "Dad? Daddy?" I shout, my bear feet pounding down the hall.

"Dad? Where are you? Please come out." I beg, my tears on the edge of exploding. He's probably just hiding from every one. He always had self-acceptance issues.

I feel strong hands come around my waist as Elliot grabs me. "Phoebe. Phoebe, hey, hey, hey. Calm down." He says, squeezing me but I wiggle out. I just want to see Dad.

Elliot sighs. "Let's go down and talk this out, ok?" He asks and I look down, seeing Ana giving me an encouraging nod so I nod also.

I walk down, hiding behind Ana who keeps her arm around me and I stare at my family.

"Can you guys please tell me where dad is?" I ask, burrowing myself closer to Ana. Grace looks like she's about to cry again.

I wait for an answer when Carrick finally sighs. "I asked him to leave." He confesses.

I blank. "You what!?" I squeak, my voice barely audible.

Carrick runs his hands through his hair, something dad will do when he's stressed. "Phoebe. I asked him to leave. I didn't want him in my house, you didn't see the pictures." Carrick explains like it's the most logical thing in the world.

Embarrassment seeps and crawls through every one of my bones and blood vessels as I hear the word pictures, and along with that embarrassment comes anger. Anger at the life-style, anger at Jack, anger at grandpa, and most importantly anger at myself, anger at myself for not telling someone, anger at myself for being so gullible. And then, all the hurt, humiliation, and fear from the last week comes crashing over, throwing me against their rocky shores.

"You don't think I saw the fucking pictures?!" I shout, pausing to catch my breath as I feel my pupils dilate. I didn't know I was capable of shouting so loud.

"You don't think I know what's in those pictures? Because I put myself through hell just to get those fucking pictures!" I dash angry tears out of my eyes.

"Phoebe…listen, sweetie…" grandpa says, carefully taking a step in my direction as he holds out his arms.

"no, no, no…listen to what? Listen to why you can't accept dad because of his life-style? Listen to why you kicked him out when all he was just trying to do is protect me? What is there to listen to?" I demand, my voice getting louder with every word.

I try to breath as I hiccup, "Dad…Dad will never…never hurt a single soul…you guys don't know, don't know about India…don't know about how he refuses to waste a single bite of food…so what he has unusual preferences…he would never hurt anyone…without their consent." I hiccup some more, my tears falling faster than I can wipe them.

"It doesn't matter if they consented or not! I won't allow a sadist to stay in my house!" Grandpa roars and I blink back more tears. I hear Elliot and Mia gasp as Elliot comes to crouch besides me. He has always been a softie.

"Dad…won't hurt anyone…" I just continue to mutter this one phrase over and over again as I sink down to the floor, everything exploding around me.

Elliot wipes some of my tears. "Phoebe, we know, we know your dad won't hurt anyone. I'm sorry, I asked him to leave also." Elliot says, pulling me against him for a hug.

I snivel and look up "You too?" I ask, my voice shaky and Elliot hangs his head. "I want…my dad to come back…" I cry some more and Ana comes to hold me also.

"Shhh, Phoebe, we'll go find him. Come on, let's get you washed up and we can go, alright?" Ana says but Grandpa stops her from helping me up.

"No! Christian deserves to be alone, let him think about what he'd done!" Carrick yells, his nostrils flaring.

"Carrick! Enough! You have taken this too far!" Grace shouts back but I can't hear the rest of their screaming as anger shakes me.

How? How can grandpa be this cruel? He knows Dad's self-acceptance issues are already bad enough without his help. How can he do this to the son he claims he loves so much?

My throat moves up and down as I try to swallow the rage that's penetrating my body. My tears magically disappear from my eyes as they harden and I clench my fist. My jaw clicks tight and I need to bite my cheek, hard.

 _Count back from 10, count back from 10, count back from 10._ My brain chastises me.

 _10, 9, 8, 7, 5…_ But my fury doesn't wait till I get to 1 to skyrocket.

I pull myself up, shoving Elliot out of the way as he stares at me, wide eyes. And before my brain can further register what I'm doing, my fist connects with Grandpa's face.

"My dad is not a sadist. He's a fucking victim, just like me." I spit. Dad has skidded around this topic when I asked him how he got into BDSM, but I know enough to get the gist of it.

Carrick stumbles back, holding his eye that's already bruising, and I run out the front door before anyone can react.

The cold, fall air nips at my bare legs still covered in pajama shorts as I run down the road leading to Grandma's estate, the pebbled stone scrapping my naked feet.

Vaguely, I hear Ana shouting my name behind me and Taylor's pounding black boots. All my track practice pays off as I wheeze some air into my lungs and Taylor curses behind me as he picks up his pace. I can tell he's getting closer so I push harder, using the front gate as a hurdle as I scramble over it, my agile feet moving quickly underneath me as I land safely on the ground.

I don't care where I am running, as long as it's away. I know I can't outlast Taylor for much longer as tears stream down my face. I'm not running away from Taylor; I love Taylor. I just can't go back to grandpa's again. Taylor reaches out and almost grabs me but I continue to push my legs, running even harder as my lungs seize for air.

"damn it, Phoebe." Taylor shouts behind me but I don't care, I keep moving my legs and tears blur my vision.

I can't see as I run, head on, into a warm, hard chest.

"Phoebe? Phoebe, oh my gosh. Baby, what happened? Sweet pea?" I feel someone shaking me as I squeeze my eyes shut. Two strong arms come around me and I feel myself being lifted up.

Taylor pants as he comes besides me. "Taylor, what the hell happened?" Dad keeps his voice calm as he puts the windbreaker he was wearing around me.

Taylor bends over, hands on knees. "One…sec…boss" He breaths, still panting. "I punched Grandpa." I finally mutter into Dad's chest.

Both of Dad's eyebrow raises in shock as he stares at me. "You what?" He asks again.

"I punched…grandpa…" I say, my voice trailing off. I know it was wrong.

 _Shit, now dad looks pissed._ His eyebrows are knitted together.

Dad runs his hand through his hair and sighs. "Phoebe, you know we can't use our fists to solve problems." He rebukes softly as I grip onto him tighter.

"I know…I'm sorry." I snivel as he strokes my hair.

Taylor interrupts us. "Not to butt in sir, but your father had it coming. I would've punched him myself if Phoebe didn't."

Dad considers this for a second, hands never leaving me, and I can tell he's having an inner battle with himself. "Ok, I'll let it slide, just this once, since you're so upset and I'm sure Grandpa took some of his anger out on you." Dad says, grey eyes sad and I nod, snuggling into him tighter.

"Ok, it's ok, let's get you into some warm clothes and I'll get Ana, then we three can go out for breakfast. How does that sound? Hmmm?" Dad hums and I nod.

I reluctantly break out of his embrace and Dad notices my feet. "Jesus, Phoebe." He mutters, rubbing my feet that have gone numb from the cold as he sweeps his thumbs over some small cuts caused by stone. I look down, embarrassed.

 **Christian:**

I look at my daughter-her long hair is disheveled, and her eyes are still red rimmed. I wonder what the hell my father said that got her so upset. Phoebe is never violent; she's always kind and warm so whatever he did, must've been pretty bad. Not that I'm saying it's ok for her going around punching people, not at all, I just think she has her own reasoning.

I rub her ice-cold feet and legs. She had ran out of the house with nothing more than PJs. As I continue to comfort and sooth her, I see Ana running towards us, panting as she tries to catch her breath.

"…fit people…" She finally manages to squeeze out as she collapses on the ground. I can't help but let out a bark of laughter. Phoebe is an extremely fast runner, having ran with me in the mornings. I even have trouble keeping up with her.

Phoebe's whole face is red with embarrassment when she glances at Ana. "Sorry…" she mutters but Ana just gives her a big, warm smile.

"Nothing to be sorry about…it's just how is it humanly possible to run…so fast." Ana's breathing starts to normal out as she speaks.

I grin at both my girls. "Come on, let's go get breakfast." I say, lifting Phoebe up and Ana stands.

Taylor gets the car and drives us back to my hotel room, stopping by the way to get sweater, jeans, and boots for Phoebe to change into.

I rub my forehead while Phoebe takes a shower and Ana comes to sit by me, tracing soothing circles on my back.

"What did my father do?" I ask, after a long stretch of silence and Ana sighs.

"He said…some pretty mean things…and Phoebe, well Phoebe was trying to defend you, and she really wanted to see you but he wouldn't allow it, so she…"

"Punched him." I finish for her. Ana nods.

I slump back on the bed. "This is a mess. I shouldn't have told them, maybe it was wrong to bring Phoebe here. The whole purpose of this was so she can forget about everything, but…" Ana rubs my back.

"You didn't know how they would react though. It's not your fault Christian." She says.

I sigh deeply. "But it is my fault I didn't pay close attention to Phoebe, it is my fault she didn't feel safe enough to come to me, it is my fault…"

"Shhh, Christian. You're an awesome Dad. Phoebe trusts you, if she didn't, she wouldn't have been so upset with Carrick. She knows you're a great dad. I know you're a great dad." Ana says.

"I guess…" I mumble and Ana kisses the tip of my nose.

"So what'd you want to do now?" she asks and I hesitate. "I don't know. Eat breakfast?" I shrug, clueless. Ana and I both think for a while and I gently kiss her. I missed her last night.

"When do you need to be back to Seattle?" I ask. Ana's company is in Seattle and she's only here for business.

"About that…I actually have a board meeting tomorrow. My plane leaves tonight" Ana murmurs.

I nod, understanding. "How about we all go back to Seattle. Maybe it's best if Phoebe has some distance." I say, I doubt she wants to go back after what my father fucking pulled. I'm not mad at him for kicking me out, in truth, I'd expected it. But taking that anger out on Phoebe was wrong. He should've been more sensitive. Phoebe was just starting to open up about the whole thing and now we're back to square one.

Phoebe comes out, showered and dressed. I crook a finger at her and she giggles, walking over to me as I bring her into a hug. I'd talk to Flynn the other day and he said that I should hug her a lot since she's still emotionally fragile, and plus, I like hugging my baby girl.

"Sweet pea? Do you want to go back to Seattle?" I ask, keeping my voice soft as to not startle her. Phoebe immediately relax. "I was hoping you would ask that." She confesses and Ana smiles at me.

After breakfast, we went back to my hotel room so I can get my laptop.

"Come on, back to Seattle." I say, grinning like a loon as I take Ana's hand and open the hotel door.

I almost choke at what I see. Grandma, Mia, and Elliot are standing by the doorway. Phoebe scowls at them and I squeeze her hand.

"where's grandpa?" Phoebe asks, ice seeping off of her voice.

Grace's eyes harden at the mention of Carrick. "He's at home, thinking about what he had done." She huffs and I immediately become concerned.

"Mom, I'm ok. You don't have to comfort me or give Carrick the same treatment. His reaction was understandable." I explain, kissing her on the cheek and ignoring Phoebe's glare. I know she wants to defend me.

Grace lightly scolds me. "His behavior was completely unacceptable. I'm giving him a taste of his own medicine." She states, crossing her arms as I laugh.

 _That's such a mom thing to say._

Mia doesn't wait for our further conversation as she jumps into my arm. "I'm sorry also." She says as I hug her back.

"Little sis, you didn't do anything wrong. Anyone who saw the pictures would run." I say, squeezing her tightly.

She rubs her misty eyes. "I know. I know…but I should've stayed and wait for you to explain." I give her my best goofy smile to make her feel better and go to slap Elliot on the back but he yanks me into a bone-crushing hug instead. "I'm so fucking sorry." He mumbles.

I pat his back. "Oh, Lelliot." I pretend to coo, earning a knock on the head and I know we're all good.

"Come on, let's go to Seattle." Grace says, and it's just now that I notice Mia's ten suitcase.

I cock an eyebrow at them. "yo, little bro, you don't expect us to live on the streets in Seattle, do you? Come on everyone, we're going to Christian's personal prison, aka, Escala." Elliot says, already skipping in the direction of the elevator and Phoebe races after him to see who can press the red button first.

I shake my head as my arm snakes around Ana's waste. "I'll text Gail to make extra-food." I say and she giggles.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12- The Beautiful Jack Ass**

 _Love isn't something you find; Love is something that finds you_

 **Christian:**

To be honest, I feel bad for leaving dad in Ohio, but Grace assured me it would do us all some good to cool off. My family files into my pent house and Elliot grabs some bears for the Seahawk game.

Phoebe goes up to her room to do homework and I watch Ana as she looks around Escala. "I'd never thought I would be here again." She mumbles and I feel the familiar pinch of guilt stab me.

She traces her fingers over some pictures of Phoebe and her friends. She turns around and smiles at me. I give a little smile back, still trying to gauge her reaction.

"I like it better now. It seems more…homey." She says, pointing to the picture of Phoebe as a baby on the wall.

She walks up the stairs and stops in front of the room that was my playroom. "May I?" she asks, pointing to the handle. I smile with a nod and she pushes open the door.

I hear her gasp as I come in, gently shutting the door behind me. "I thought this was a more appropriate playroom, considering I have a daughter." I say, referring to the X-box and game station as well as the dozens of board games. There's also a pool table by the side.

Ana's trying to stifle her laughter but can no longer hold it as small giggles bubble up. "The irony…" she remarks and I give her my biggest grin.

"Do you like this one better?" I ask, you can hear the tease in my voice.

Ana beams back. "Much better. Do you guys use this room a lot?"

I shake my head. "Not really, Phoebe never liked games that much, but I think it's safe to bet that Elliot would." I say.

As much as I wanted Ana to stay with me, she said she had a meeting tomorrow and should go back. I kiss her goodnight as Taylor gets the car even though I wanted to drive her back.

~*~*~ (At night)

I make my way up to Phoebe's room and see that she's reading in bed.

"Hey, sweet pea. Trouble sleeping?" I ask, situating myself beside her.

Phoebe shakes her head. "Not really, although I'm worried about Grandpa. I shouldn't have punched him." She says sadly.

I brush away some of her hair. "I agree you shouldn't have but he shouldn't have provoked you either. Tell you what, if he doesn't call within a few days, I'll go back down to Ohio to check on him. How does that sound?" I ask. Phoebe hesitates a little bit but eventually nods.

"That's probably best. Maybe you guys can try talking things out?" She asks, looking up at me with her big, grey eyes. I smile.

"Ok, sweet pea, good night, I love you to the moon and back." I say, kissing the spot between her eyes as she snuggles under the covers.

I wait till I hear her soft snores before getting up and clicking the door shut.

 **Phoebe**

My books are collected in my hands, papers stacked into binders, as I jog down the steps. I can't believe how much work I missed because dad insisted that I stay home and rest, which I appreciated, but how can I miss so much work? Thankfully though, I was able to do most of it at home and now I just need to turn everything in. I clutch my papers more tightly with my back pack slung over my shoulders as I quicken my steps to Mr. Hull's class.

I'm too busy thinking about my research paper for British Lit as I turn the corner of the steps and feel someone bump into me. My arms go whaling out and I thought I was going to fall until a strong hand grabs me at the last minute and pulls me up.

I regain my balance and was about to apologize and thank whoever saved me but before I can speak up, the person snarls: "Bitch, you should really watch where you're fucking going. If it wasn't for me, you would've broken your neck"

"Watch where I'm fucking going? You're the one that fucking bumped into me, _jack ass_." I shoot back. _What is it that make boys think it's ok to call girls hurtful names?_

Two emerald green eyes greet me when I finally huff a breath of annoyance and look up. There's a boy staring at me, his head cocked to the side with curly brown curls flopping around.

He raises a perfectly sculpted eyebrow as if questioning my motive. "You're welcome for me saving _your_ _ass_." And with that, he disappears up the steps, leaving me with all of my scattered papers.

I shake my head and collect all of my spilled belongings. _There's always going to be those people around._

I'm engrossed in my own thoughts about green eyes and brown curls as Mr. Hull rambles on about Mr. Darcy until there's a knock on the door. Mr. Hull grumbles because someone has interrupted his _oh so important lecture_ as he trudges to the door and in walks the previous jerk from this morning.

I immediately narrow my eyes at him and he gives me a nonchalant smile-showcasing a toothy, wide grin. _Aww…he has a really cute smile._

 _No! Phoebe! What the fuck is wrong with you!?_

"What do you want?" Mr. Hull demands, still unhappy about the interruption. I secretly wonder if he had a love affair with Mr. Darcy.

"Mr. Hull, I'm sorry for interrupting, but I'm afraid I transferred to your class." His voice oozed confidence.

Mr. Hull squints his eyes as if trying to detect truth in his words and I guessed he believed him because he turns his gaze over to us.

"You can sit by Phoebe." He finally declares, pointing to the only empty seat in the class by me.

The boy flashes another megawatt smile. "Perfect." He states, his feet already two steps in my direction.

I internally face palm myself and try not to stare at how his black jeans hug his waste perfectly.

 _Bad Phoebe!_

I look over to my friend Maria who's unapologetically fanning herself and mouthing the word _hot_ to me. I roll my eyes.

Mr. Hull continues on with class and I try my very best to ignore my new desk mate. I'm not in the mood today to deal with egocentric people.

When Mr. Hull wasn't noticing, he slides over a piece of folded paper and something in his smile made me unfold it.

 _Your name is Phoebe?_

I can't help the tug at my lips as I scribble back.

 _Yes, and I'm assuming your name is ass?_

I watch him as he unfolds my paper, the way his deft fingers travel the white edges, the way his calculated eyes scan over the words, the way his lips turn up at my snarky comment.

He gives me an innocent look, pointing to himself and whispering; "Me? Ass?" as he pouts, his bottom lip becoming more pronounced and my heart thumps. Yes, he is rude, and an ass, but he's also…strangely cute.

I nod my head, confirming that he is indeed the rear end… _well, not really. How can an ass be this cute?_

He turns his attention back to the Mr. Hull, who, miraculously, is still going on about Mr. Darcy. His smirk widens as he scrawls something else on a new piece of paper. I open it.

 _My name is Neil, but jack ass is my middle name._

 _And Mr. Hull so has a crush on Mr. Darcy._

 _Do you think he's gay?_

I can't help the laughter that comes snorting out of my mouth. Sadly, I failed to cover my mouth in time or hide the piece of paper.

All too soon, Mr. Hull's black boots come clicking down the row and he holds out an impatient hand, demanding the piece of paper. I look at Neil (the jack ass) who just shrugs, telling me I should show Mr. Hull the paper and there's nothing to hide.

I timidly drop the paper in Mr. Hull's hand and hide my face as he reads it. When I finally gain enough courage to look up, Mr. Hull's face is a sheet of red tomato.

"You two. Office. Now." He barks. Me and Neil quickly shimmer out of the class room. The minute we're out the door. Neil bursts out laughing, throwing his head back as his green eyes dance.

"That was…great…Did you see…his face…?" he says, ushering me in the direction of the office without a care in the world. Isn't he slightly nervous?

I fidget with the sleeves of my sweater as our vice principle regards us with disappointment. "Phoebe? You too?" she asks.

I nod, kind of ashamed. I rarely engage in making fun of teachers. "Phoebe, your father is on his way." She finally informs me and I groan.

She turns to Neil, sighing. "And Neil, we can't get ahold of your mother."

I watch Neil give her a goofy smile, shrugging. "it's ok, she's too busy. I'll sign myself up for detention. Tomorrow at three?" There's something in his voice that makes my heart shutter. Is his mom too busy for him?

Our vice principal gives him a sad smile. "I guess you know the drill by now, huh?" she asks and Neil laughs.

"It's really ok, Ms. Andrews. No need to feel bad. I'm use to detentions by now." He says, winking as he saunters out the office door.

Ms. Andrews shakes her head behind him. "He's a really sweet and smart boy. But he gets in so much trouble, I wish his parents cared." She mumbles more to herself.

I was going to ask more but the door clicks open and in walks my Dad. "Hey…" I mumble.

"Phoebe, I'm not in the mood, go to the car." Dad says, giving my shoulder a squeeze so I know he's not extremely angry and I hurry out to the car as Dad talks to Ms. Andrews.

After five minutes, dad walks back out and although he's trying to hide it, he's laughing. His grey eyes glimmer against the afternoon sun and he looks so much younger.

"You're not mad?" I ask carefully. Dad lets out a deep rumble. "I'm still confiscating all your TV for a week, but that was pretty funny. It reminds me of when Ana asked if I was gay or not." he says.

I raise my eyebrows in surprise. "She asked that?" My voice is incredulous.

Dad nods. "Yep." He says, popping the p as he grins. "She was brave. I give her that." He adds and I smile also.

The light mood is broken as dad becomes more serious. "Phoebe, who was that boy that gave you the paper in the first place?" His tone is his CEO voice. I heard him use it with his phone calls.

I can't help the blush creeping up my cheek and dad seems to notice because he raises an eyebrow.

"Um…I don't really know him…he just transferred…" I stutter. _Gah! Why can't I stop blushing?_

Dad furrows his eyebrows like he's having an inner-debate with himself. "Ok, but Phoebe if you end up seeing him, I expect to meet him. Is that understood?" Dad asks, still not changing his stern voice.

I'm pretty sure my whole face is red now. "Duh…Dad...plus I don't want to see him…not like that anyway" I'm not sure if I was only convincing myself with the last part.

Dad nods, seemingly satisfied. "Well, as long as you know." He says, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel and we drive home in relative silence.

I fall asleep that night to the picture of a boy winking with a bright smile, emerald green eyes, and soft brown curls…


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13-Love, it's a funny thing.**

 **Carrick**

I stare at the crystal glistening in my cup filled with whiskey, the yellow liquid my only company.

 _What have I done?_

I have abandoned my own son and grandbaby; I have rejected them when they needed me the most; I have left them dejected and unwanted; I have failed them as a father; I have failed them as being the shoulder they should always be able to lean on.

The whiskey gradually becomes lesser in my cup.

 _I miss them._ But what right do I have to cry felony when I abandoned them? What right do I have to beg for their forgiveness when I couldn't forgive and understand myself?

The whiskey is gone and I pour myself another full glass, the alcohol fueling my loneliness.

Slowly, I drift off.

I don't know how much later, my hazy mind registers someone trying to pull me up and I hear muttering.

" _Jesus Christ, how much did he drink?"_ The voice belongs to Christian and I want to respond, but my body collapses.

I feel Christian trying to pull me up again and guide me back to my room but he gives up when I collapse a second time. I hear him grunt as his hand comes around to pick me up.

" _Fuck, you're so much heavier than Phoebe."_ He chuckles while stumbling with me down to my room.

I want to stay awake; I really, really want to stay awake, but sleep sweeps me up when I feel myself being lowered on to my own soft bed.

 **~*~*~ (morning)**

My head's pounding while the hot sun beats down on my skin. I try to sit up but a firm hand holds me down. "Dad, just lay still for a while."

I open my eyes to find Christian looking over me, he has somewhat of a condescending frown on his face but his grey eyes are filled with concern.

"Son," I croak, my voice all scratchy and Christian hands me a glass of water. He seems detached as he mumbles more or less to himself. "serves you right that your throat hurts, Jesus Dad, you drank three bottles of whiskey. You really should take better care of yourself. You even lost weight." He berates gently as he runs his hand through his copper hair.

I feel like a child being scolded and the irony is bitter. This scene happened all too many times with Christian as a teenager.

"Drinking." I rasp. "How did you stop?" Even though I suspect the answer.

Christian purses his lips as he thinks. "Elena." He finally answers, handing me two Advil.

"She canned me when I did, so…over time, I stopped." He adds the next part quietly. And for the first time I look at the person I call son. His copper hair is mixed with thin pieces of grey hair and he has heavy bag underneath his eyes. His shoulders are slightly slumped and he looks exhausted.

"I'm sorry. I never meant what I said to you or Phoebe." I try my attempt at a proper apology.

A sad smile plays by Christian's lips and he strokes my hair, almost lovingly. "Dad, you have nothing to be sorry for. I fully expected and deserved it."

"No, no you didn't son." I shake my head. "You fell victim and I should've accept that instead of blaming you." I say. I can tell from my voice that I'm getting emotional and Christian hands me another glass of water.

"I know you had… _have_ issues with self-love. I shouldn't have…I knew you weren't wrong…I…I just was so angry when I saw the pictures…I…"

Christian eyes crinkles as he watches me stutter, the well-worn creases showing. "shhh…Dad, you don't have to apologize. You guys never did anything wrong. You gave me the world as a little boy. I don't blame you for being angry; I have done things in my life that I'm not proud of."

I can only nod.

Christian's mood suddenly changes and I catch a glimpse of the happy, little boy I use to know. "Good news, mom and them are coming back. They should be landing in an hour." He says.

I look at all the whiskey bottles scattered around. _Grace will have my head if she found out how much I drank._

Christian seems to sense what I'm thinking about and laughs. "Don't worry, I'll clean up all the alcohol. Mom won't suspect a thing."

 **Phoebe:**

Neil's dragging me towards the cafeteria because he wanted me to meet his friends.

"Um…Neil…I don't think this is a good idea. I agreed to meet up with Maria." I lie and try to wiggle out of his arm, but his grip is firm yet gentle on me. Neil and I became good friends over the past week and I'm comfortable around him, but that doesn't mean I want to meet his friends. I'm too shy.

Neil laughs, throwing his head back as deep chuckles rolls out of his throat. "Oh, Phoebe. Don't be shy, they're super nice. Not jack asses like me." he winks, still ushering me down the hall.

As we approach the end of the hall, Neil spots Maria and jumping, he waves his hand. "Maria! Here! Phoebe wanted to see you." He says and Maria comes over in her chucky boots, giving me a big hug.

"What did you want to see me for?" she asks and I see Neil smirk, knowing he caught my lie. "um…nothing…just come eat lunch with us, yeah?" I ask and she agrees in the cheery way that only Maria can.

Neil leads us to the table directly in the middle of the cafeteria. "Hey guys, this is Phoebe and Maria." He says, patting the seat next to him and I gingerly sit down.

Neil's friends are Jose, Mark, Paul, Greg, and Adam. We eat lunch in laughter and jokes over game of thrones. Soon, I forget all about being shy and I am laughing openly. _God, when was the last time I had fun like this?_

"So, Neil. Are you really having a party tonight?" Paul asks, chomping on his sandwich.

"Yeah, sure dude. You know my mom's never home. Spread the word." Neil says and Paul's already sending a message on snap chat.

"You guys want to come?" Neil asks, turning to me and Maria.

"Uh…I can't." I stutter. _My dad will definitely not approve._

"Come on, why not?" Neil presses and Maria joins him.

"Come on Phoebe, I bet it will be really fun. Have you ever been to a party? You need to at least try." She pleads.

I shake my head. "I can't. I just don't think it's a good idea."

I look at both of their faces filled with so much hope and feel my resolve began to waver.

"I really can't. My dad has security." I plead as a last attempt.

Neil's shoulders slumps when he hears this. "Well…if you insist. It really won't be that bad though. The worst thing there will be is some beer." He says but Maria's not having any of it.

"Phoebe, that's bull-shit. I know you can find a way to ditch security. You never have fun, what's the wrong in living a little?" she asks and Neil fist bumps her.

I bite my lips. "well…my dad is going on a date with Ana." I hesitate, thinking this through. I know this because I helped Dad pick out Ana's outfit and flowers. I also think my Dad was planning on spending the night at her place.

"So you can come?" Neil asks, a childlike glee passing through his face and I nod timidly.

 _What's wrong with having a little fun?_

 **Ana:**

I am singing and cooking in my kitchen when the doorbell rings. A delivery man is holding up an expensive looking box. "Ms. Steele, please sign here." He says, handing me a piece of paper. I shoot him a quizzical look while scrawling down my name. _That's weird, I didn't order anything._

I carefully lift up the lid, revealing a beautiful black and white dress. It has an interesting crisscrossing black section in the middle and the bottom is lined with black lace while the rest of the dress flares out. I admire the simple design of the cut off shoulders and can't help twirling it around. Underneath the dress is a black clutch, black pumps, and an elegant silver necklace.

I can't help but rush to the bathroom to try it on. It fits like a glove, clinging to all my soft curves and I spin around in the bathroom, feeling like a ballerina. Just as I was about to continue my dance, I hear the ding of my phone.

knowing who emailed me, I rush to get it.

 ** _Dinner at 6. Put on the dress I sent you. I'll collect you at 5:30. I love you, Christian._**

I smile, my fingers dancing across the keyboard.

 ** _Yes, sir ;)_**

As soon as I sent it, I hear another ding.

 ** _Anastasia, don't think I don't know what you're doing._**

My smile widens.

 ** _And, pray tell, what am I doing?_**

I don't have to wait long for my response.

 ** _Anastasia, you know exactly what you're doing. All I want to do right now is fuck your brains out but I'm in a meeting. So, behave._**

I feel like a little girl crushing on the hot guy in school as I giggle at my phone. This is more than I could have ever imagined. Christian was never this playful around me, always being the high-strung businessman and the strict Dom, but now he's just… _Christian_ and I fucking love him. I think Phoebe was the best thing that happened to him. She taught him how to accept love.

I am still engaged in my thoughts about Christian when the door dings. Jumping, I run to get it, tripping over my own heel.

Christian's waiting for me in his signature suit and tie, the same outfit he wore when we first met. His grey tie is in place. My smile widens as I squeal and jump into his arms, causing him to drop the bouquet of white roses he was holding.

I kiss him, _hard,_ and he moans into my mouth as he supports my legs that are wrapped around him.

He quickly shuts the door behind us and lays me on my bed as he glides into me, our bodies completing each other and I convulse with pleasure.

"Christian…Faster…" I moan as he picks up his pace, slamming into me. I feel myself tightening around him.

"Ahh…Christian." I shout and can't hold on any longer as my orgasm consumes me.

When I finally float down from my high, Christian's lightly running his fingers though my hair while smiling a soft smile.

"Hi." He says.

"Hi back." I smile and snuggle into him, causing him to chuckle.

"We're going to be late, you ruined my plan, _as always."_ He adds and I giggle.

"Where were you going to take me?" I ask, pointing to my discarded dress and Christian smiles his enigmatic smile.

"Oh, just dinner and dancing. But let's miss it. I rather stay in with you." He says and I beam.

For the next half hour, we just cuddle. Christian being the big spoon and I can't help but feel loved and protected.

Christian's still twirling my hair when he notices a pink string hanging from my mattress.

"What's this?" He asks, tugging at it.

I immediately become concerned. I know it's going to make him sad and I hate to bring down his good mood.

"Christian. It's nothing, it's probably just a part of the mattress." I lie, moving his hand away.

Christian narrow his eyes and his voice becomes more stern. "Anastasia, don't lie to me. What is it?" He asks.

I move his hand away once again. "Christian, it's really nothing. Let's just forget about it." I plead but he ignores me, getting up and revealing my crushed Charlie Tango balloon.

"Ana." Christian says. My name sounds tortured. I look up to see him staring at Charlie Tango in his hands as tears swim in his eyes.

"I never had the heart to throw it away." I give a little shrug and before I know it, I am engulfed into a bone-crushing hug.

"How could I ever do that to you." Christian murmurs, inhaling the scent of my hair and two of his tears travel down my back.

"Shh…Shhh…" I calm, stroking his back as I gently move us under the covers where we stay.

Christian's hand caresses the now wrinkly plastic material of my balloon as we stay under my covers.

"I can't believe you kept this." He says and I give him a shy smile. His hand comes to hold and tip my chin up as he steals a kiss and I giggle which causes him to beam.

All of the sudden, I see his eyes light up like a child's on Christmas morning. "Scoot, go change into that dress. I have another plan." He says and I quickly obey.

Christian dresses himself also and I try not to lick my lips. He smirks. "Enjoying the show?" he asks.

I smile back. "always." And he takes my hand, pushing me out the doorway but not before draping his coat over me to keep me warm.

"Christian, where are we going?" I ask for the tenth time but he just shushes me.

"You'll see." He responds and I see the hint of a smile tugging by Taylor's lips also. I know it useless asking him as well because he has ganged up with Christian on this.

I huff a breath of annoyance as his grey Audi pulls up to a tall building and I gasp.

"Charlie Tango." I whisper and Christian nods, his smile widening.

The chilly, night wind is strong and whips my hair in my face but Christian ducks us down as we both run to the helipad, giggling like teenagers.

He helps me into my seat and straps me in before going around to his side. When he's all settle, he smiles at me. it's a mixture of sadness, joy, and pride in his eyes.

I don't have time to think anymore as he starts the procedure. I watch him. He's so at ease, so calm, so in control. This is the old Christian I know, but I also like the new Christian. The new Christian is more…warm.

"Sea-Tac tower, this is Charlie-Tango-Tango Echo Hotel, cleared for takeoff to Portland, via PDX. Please confirm, over."

I hear the air-trafficker's voice and for some reason, I think he's smiling also. "Roger, tower. Charlie Tango set, over and out."

Christian looks over, his enigmatic smile in place as I squeal with excitement. "We're going to Portland?" I ask and I can tell my eyes are dancing.

Christian nods and we take off. I look out at Seattle, the dark night casting a sleepy blanket around the city with blinking lights underneath us. But we are far away from that, we're in our own little world, high above the night sky.

Christian takes my hand and gives it a little squeeze when we arrive in Portland. He takes my hand as we walk around in the area I use to call home.

"oh my gosh, Christian, look! That's the hardware store I use to work at." I point to Paul's shop and Christian's leans down, whispering in my ear.

"I still have the red rope I brought from you." He says and my breath hitches. Christian and I have been keeping everything strictly vanilla and I know that he'll never go back to the harsh stuff, but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy _some_ of the stuff.

"hmmm…Mr. Grey, we'll have to find a way to put it to use." I say and Christian adjusts his pants.

"Behave, Ms. Steel." Christian's warning voice has a teasing tone to it as his hand pats my butt. I giggle into his coat as we step into the exact same coffee shop we were in before my graduation.

Christian gets us hot chocolate with marshmallows and we enjoy each other's company.

 **Christian:**

I watch Ana as she sips her hot chocolate. To be honest, I'm not a fan of chocolate but since Ana and Phoebe both love it so much, I have learned to accept it.

I think back on my life. _When has it been this perfect?_ Phoebe's safe, Carrick still loves me, and Ana's here. There's nothing more I could ask for.

I can't help but notice how her hair falls in soft wave around her face and how her blue eyes glimmer in the dim light of the coffee shop, how her smile alone can light up my whole world. And in that moment, I know I never want to be with anyone else. I want Ana and her alone. I want to wake up to her dancing eyes and beautiful giggle every morning. I want to be the one that she leans on and the one that protects her. I want to be the one that she can open up to and the one that will love her with his whole being.

Suddenly my phone rings. I groan, annoyed that someone disturbed my perfect moment.

"Grey." I snap into my phone.

"Daddy?..." the voice at the end chokes and I can tell she's been crying.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14-Fifity drama**

 **Phoebe:**

My head hurts as I search for Maria and Neil. Music is blasting and the smell of alcohol reeks through the wall.

I squeeze past a couple practically having sex in the middle of the floor.

 _What type of party were you expecting Phoebe?_

"Hey…phoebe, right?" Paul slurs, bumping into me. I push him off, not bothering to apologize.

 _Where the hell is Neil? He said he would be with me._

Finally, I spot Maria. She's dresses in a colorful romper and I look down at my own jeans.

 _Yep, defiantly not the party I was expecting._

I decide it's useless to try and talk to Maria because she has Greg hanging off of her every word and I didn't want to ruin their thing.

Just when I was about to give up and go home, I hear Neil's usual cherry voice. "Phoebe! I was looking for you." He comes jogging up to me in black jeans, a white tee, and hands me a red cup.

I frown. "Neil, you know I don't drink." I say, shoving the cup away.

"Oh, come on. A little bit of beer never hurts anyone."

I look down at the yellow, carbonated liquid swimming within its plastic wall. _Whoever came up with beer anyway?_

"Try it, it's really not so bad." Neil employs, but I shake my head no. I have no desire to get drunk.

Neil pouts, his bottom lip poking out. "You're no fun." He states and although he meant it as a joke, his words stab me in the heart.

Of course he's right. We're from two different worlds. He's cool, collected, confident...And me, well I'm Phoebe; I'm the girl who reads in the library, the girl that sits in the back of the class just so she can disappear, the girl who no one ever notices.

What was I thinking? I could never be with Neil. He's too happy, bright, and smiley while I'm struggling not to get swallowed up by the monsters within me.

This realization is paining and suddenly, beer doesn't seem like such a bad idea.

"Actually, can I try some?" I change my mind, pointing to Neil's cup and he raises both of his eyebrows as he hands me the cup I previously despised so much.

I chug the whole thing down and reach for a second one but Neil stops me. "Easy Phoebe." He chastises.

"I thought you wanted me to drink." I remark bitterly.

Neil furrows his eyebrows, and a frown plays by his lips. "Yes, I did. But all I wanted was for you to try it, not get drunk. There's a big difference. No more beer for you, I can tell you're a light weight." he says, removing the beer out of my hand.

I don't know what took over me in that particular moment (perhaps it was liquid courage) but anger mixed with sadness seeps through my heart.

And who are you to tell me what to do?" I snarl, grabbing the beer out of his hand.

Neil seems utterly shock for a moment but he snaps back out. "Phoebe, are you ok?" he asks, sounding concerned.

"Why do you care? You never really wanted me." I state, shoving him away.

"Phoebe, you know that's not true." Neil counters, following me out as he grabs me and spins me towards him.

"Phoebe. What happened?" he asks, holding my hands by his side as I struggle against him.

I want to scream, to cry, to ask him who could ever love someone as fucked up, used, and dirty…as me, but I lock all the hurt and pain away, focusing on my anger.

"Get away from me, you filthy bastard." I continue to wiggle in his hold and Neil gasps, long enough for me to squirm out.

"Go find yourself another girl to fuck." I state and Neil looks genuinely hurt for a second.

"You think I'm a fuck boy? That all I wanted was your body?" he asks. His voice cracks at the end.

I immediately feel bad. "Neil…" I start, slowly approaching him but he backs away.

"No, you know what? I'm done caring Phoebe. You never open up to anyone and I'm tired of trying. You're right, I'm just a fuck boy. It was nice knowing you." He spits, turning around and disappearing back in the crowd.

I suppress the tears that spring to my eyes and slump down against the wall, waiting for Maria to be done so she can offer me a ride home.

"Phoebe." Jose appears out of the blue and sits next to me.

"Hey Jose, I don't really want to talk." I say, turning my head to the side.

I hear Jose chuckle and his hand comes to stroke my back but I shrug him off. "You know, I saw what happened with you and Neil."

I pretend to ignore him but Jose continues. "You're right about him, you know. Look over there." Jose says, and I can't help but turn my gaze towards Jose's pointing finger.

Neil's with some blonde. She's smiling into Neil's kiss and his hands are on her ass as her legs wrap around him.

A lone tear rolls down my face. I guess in the depth of my heart, I still held the tiny, sliver of hope that Neil would want to be with me.

I _hear_ Jose's grin creeping up his face before I see it.

"You know I can make you feel better." Jose's too sweet voice comes over. I shove him.

"No thanks." My voice is ice-cold.

Before my foggy brain can comprehend what's happening, Jose pins my hand to my side and starts dragging me upstairs.

Everybody is too drunk or high to notice.

"Jose, let go." I demand, twisting violently in his arms. Jose smiles a cunning smile as he throws me on a bed.

"You have no idea how long I wanted this." Jose hums in my ear. Fear grips me and I thrash around, but it's useless. Jose has me pinned too effectively.

He starts to kick off his pants, all the while kneeling on me so I'd stay still.

I screw my eyes shut.

 **Neil.**

Hurt shoots through me. Of course Phoebe doesn't want me. I'm just a fuck up, _a fuck boy._

A blonde (I think her name is Julie) smiles and crooks her finger at me.

 _Looks like Phoebe's right._ I think as I make my way over.

I don't think as I kiss Julie. My tongue moves by itself and I feel detached. And even though I want to focus on Julie, I scan the crowd for Phoebe.

That's when I notice she's gone. I quickly untangle Julie's legs around me and apologize as I push past people.

"Have you seen Phoebe?" I frantically ask Paul.

"Yeah…bro…Jose took her upstairs." Paul stutters as he tries to wink, alcohol emanating off of his breath.

 _Shit, shit, shit, Jose always gave me the wrong vibe, but I never thought he would try anything like that._

I take the steps three at a time as I burst through my door.

Phoebe's eyes are screwed shut as she lets out small protests. Jose has her pinned with both his knee and hands. Her jeans and undies are pulled down as Jose fidgets with his own pants.

I rush towards Jose, putting my body weight into my right swing and knock him out cold. _Karate definitely has its benefits._

Phoebe's grey eyes blink open with undiluted fear as she shivers, tears stream down her face. I help her up, trying to adjust her clothes subtly without touching her.

"Come on, let's get you out of here." I mutter, wrapping my arm around her and she whimpers into my chest.

I bring her into my mom's empty room, the only room in the house that's off limits.

"Shhh…Shhh…" I calm, stroking her hair as I hand her a glass of water. She obediently sips it.

"Phoebe…" I need to swallow several times to finish the rest of my sentence. "He didn't…I mean…nothing happened…right?"

Phoebe shutters but shakes her head. "Thank you." She murmurs, her voice so soft that I barely make it out.

I wrap my arms a little bit tighter around her and wipe away a handful of her tears. "Phoebe, is there someone you can call? Maybe your dad?" I suggest. Dread blooms in my stomach.

 _Even though every fiber of my being is telling me no, I have to face the consequences of what I did. If it wasn't for me, Phoebe would've been safe._

I hand Phoebe my phone and watch her shaky fingers type in a number.

"Daddy?" her voice cracks and, between shaky breaths, she gets out what happened.

I think I hear growling on the other end.

"He's in Portland…but he'll be here in…an hour or so…" she says, and I nod.

"Wait here." I say and get up.

"Everyone. Party's over." I shout and hear people groan as they stagger out the door. I go back to my own room and see Jose's still lying on the ground.

Without thinking, I grab some rope and tie him to the bed in case he tries to escape. I'll call the police after Mr. Grey comes.

I head back to see Phoebe still sniffling. "Hey…Hey…it's ok. Shhh…" I whisper and gently coax her into laying her head on my shoulder as I stroke her back.

All too soon, the door-bell rings. I feel a shiver run through Phoebe's body as my own gut twist and tightens, but I have to do this. I call the police really quick and go to answer the door with Phoebe clutching on to me for dear life, obviously afraid of her dad's reaction.

I soon realize Mr. Grey is a full six foot two tall. I see the tick in his jaw as he first regards his daughter. There's also a pretty woman next to him, but unlike Mr. Grey, she seems…warmer.

For a moment, Mr. Grey just gives me the death stare. I try to pull myself up a little taller and look him right in the center of his stormy grey eyes.

 **Christian:**

Rage boils within me. She snuck out; she ditched security; she went to a god-damn-fucking party with booze. Of course she's going to get hurt.

Without another word, I drag Ana toward the Helipad. I quickly explain what had happened and she gasps.

The car-ride there is dead silent and from the corner of my eye, I see Ana casting me worried glances.

"Christian…" she begins. "I understand you're mad, and angry, and hurt, but Please, please be calm with her. Don't Dom up on her. She's probably frightened enough." Ana begs me.

I feel my own gaze hardening. "Ana, she's the one that snuck out, not me." My voice is so chilling that it even startles me.

We pull up to a house and I walk up the steps with Ana stumbling behind me. I bang on the door three times.

Finally, it opens up. There's a boy. His brown hair is messy, pieces flying in every direction, and his eyes are a shade of emerald green. I give him my death stare that can make full-grown CEO cower but he stares me back.

Secretly, I admire his courage.

His arm is curled around my phoebe, which I don't like. She's trembling in his arm while refusing to look at me.

After two minutes, he leans down and whispers to my daughter. "Phoebe, go to your dad. Everything's going to be alright, I promise." He says, lightly kissing her hair, which I really don't like.

Phoebe finally scoots over to me, but before I can grip her arm, Ana takes her while staring at me incredulously.

 _Well, how dare she?_

"Mr. Grey, please don't be mad at Phoebe. This was my idea for her to come. I take full responsibility for what happened. Just don't be mad at Phoebe." He half says, half pleads.

 _Why the hell is he so calm. Am I not scary anymore?_

Before I can finish my thoughts, we hear sirens blasting. His lips turn up in a knowing smile.

"You called the police?" I ask, a little taken aback that he will bust his own party.

"Like I said, I take full-responsibility." He explains, and I have to give it to the boy, he has balls.

Soon, policemen come stomping in and he talks quietly with two officers.

The last thing I see is the cops dragging him and another boy out.

I turn my attention to my wayward daughter who's in Ana's arm.

My blood, once again, boils into rage. "Let's go." I command and Ana gently ushers Phoebe to the car. She gets in the back with her instead of the front with me.

I let the anticipation build on the way back, not saying a word-a trick often used to cause tension in the business world.

Ana shakes her head disapprovingly.

Phoebe's not even glancing at me, but I can tell my little tacit is working by the way she knots her fingers in her lap.

"Dad…aren't…aren't you mad…?" she finally asks, her voice lost its usual confidence.

"trust me, I'm fucking livid." And if voices could freeze ice…

She fidgets some more in her seat, tears welling in her eyes, but the water-works aren't going to work this time.

"I'm…sorry…" she finally makes out. However, this does nothing to sooth the anger building within me.

"Trust me, you're going to be a lot more sorry." My voice has a chilling-conviction to it and Phoebe trembles, but I don't feel the least bit guilty.

"Christian!" Ana gasps, her eyes wide. "You are not going to talk to your daughter that way! Look, she's fucking terrified."

I briefly glance in the rear view mirror. Phoebe's huddled up as big, fat, crocodile tears roll down her soft cheeks.

I harden my resolve.

"Daddy…you're…not going to…going to…physically…punish me…right?" Phoebe whispers, her body cowering into the seat.

I soften my gaze. "No, sweet pea, I promised you I never will." I say, remembering the night I found her in the dungeon.

"But…but…you're so mad…" Phoebe stutters.

I sigh, my anger waving. "Phoebe, have you ever known me to go back on my word?" I ask and Phoebe quickly shakes her head.

I see Ana give me a little smile even though the spark in her eyes tells me she's still pretty upset.

We drive up to Escala. I get out of the car while Phoebe trails behind me.

"Come here." I mutter just before she slips up stairs.

I bring Phoebe into my chest and hug my daughter. "I'm sorry I was so scary." I murmur as her warm tears soak my shirt.

"Come on now, you know it breaks my heart when you cry." I whisper, rocking us from side to side.

Phoebe doesn't say anything but her sobs continue.

I finally decide it's useless to sooth her and scoop her up, walking up to her room and tucking her in as one would a little girl.

"Phoebe…are you sure he didn't…rape you?" I ask, only now realizing how careless and un-sensitive I've been."

Phoebe shakes her head. "no…no…he didn't…Neil stopped him" She whispers. I breathe a sigh of relief, kissing her temple.

"Why do you have to always get hurt." I say more to myself.

We stay there in silent. "Do you think Neil will be ok? The police took him." Phoebe looks so worried that I need to try to stifle my smile.

"I'm sure he will be just fine Phoebe. His parents can pay his bail and I will talk to the court about letting him off with a warning."

 _After all, the bastard did save my daughter._

I sit next to Phoebe to wait for her to fall asleep and absentmindedly run my hands through her copper hair. "Good night, sweet pea, I love you to the moon and back."

In the dark, I make out my daughter's smile. "Good night, dad, I love you to the sun and back."

I shoot her a quizzical look.

"The sun's farther than the moon, and I love you more." Phoebe whispers then promptly, falls asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15-Continuing the Lesson of Love**

 _All that I ask of you, is for you to continue that lesson..._

 **Christian:**

After tucking Phoebe in, I head down stairs and lock myself in my office. I need some time to think about everything alone.

I am still deep in thought about what I'm going to do for Phoebe's punishment when I hear a knock and see Ana's head peeping in.

I crack a little smile and pat my lap. She timidly walks over and curl herself up. We don't say anything, both of us just sitting there. I know she's still a little bit upset with me for how I acted out on Phoebe, but to be honest, I'm a little bit pissed at her too. Phoebe's my daughter, and I can discipline her how I see fit. I never meant to cause her any real harm, nor was I planning on punishing her physically. I was just so mad…and scared, scared that something like Jack will happen again.

Ana regards me with shy, blue eyes. I think she senses my mood.

"Hey, are you still mad?" she asks, and I quirk an eyebrow.

"Kind of, are you?" I ask.

Ana softly shakes her head. "No, I'm sorry Christian. I didn't mean to over-step things with you and your daughter, but I was just so scared of your reaction. I didn't know if you would go all fifty on her."

I sigh. "Ana, I know I can be scary sometimes, but you need to trust me when I say this. I will never, and I mean _never_ harm you or Phoebe in any way."

Ana nods, snuggling into me, and I know that this matter is put away. I lightly kiss her hair. "Ok you, let's get you to bed."

Ana wiggles her eyebrows. "Are you coming to bed with me, Mr. Grey?"

I grin. "If you don't mind."

~*~*~(morning)

Phoebe's waiting for the coffee cup while fidgeting with her sleeves. I know she's nervous to hear about her punishment.

"Morning sweet pea." I greet, and she startles up. I give her shoulders a little squeeze. "Meet me in my office in five minutes. Don't worry, I just want to discuss somethings with you."

Exactly five minutes later, I see Phoebe's grey eyes peeking through the oak door.

"Is this about my punishment?" she asks, her voice so soft I can barely hear it. I have never really punished Phoebe. I mean sure, I took away TV and stuff at times for minor stuff, but she never pulled a stunt like this. And we both know how strict I am about security.

I nod. "I'm afraid so. No TV, electronics, phones, and Wi-Fi for a month. You're also grounded during this time, no going out with friends." I say and watch for her reaction.

Phoebe nods and hands me her phone without argument.

"And…" I start again. I suspect this is the part that she's really going to hate.

"And Mia has a friend who recently opened up a boutique. You're going to work there every day after school from 3-6. After that, I'm also getting you a psychologist. I know you said you didn't want one, and, in the past, I have gone with it, but consider this as new punishment. You're going to see Dr. Schwab every Saturday. Non-negotiable." I finish up.

Phoebe's eyes widen fractionally. "Dad…" She starts to whine, giving me her best puppy dog eyes and pouty lips. I keep my expression neutral and unwavering, even though I want to smile at how cute she looks.

"I hate retail and shrinks though…" she continues to whine and pout.

 _That's why it's called punishment, sweet heart._

"Phoebe, you chose to snuck out, not me." I say in a stern voice.

Phoebe finally surrenders. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was worth a try though." She mumbles, and I finally allow a smile to grace my lips.

"Come here, you little minx." I tease and bring her into a hug.

That day, I drive Phoebe to her first day of work at _My Sissy's Closet,_ the boutique I'm making her work at, with her pouting the whole time. I shake my head, slightly amused.

Phoebe always hated the fashion industry. She thinks they're all spoiled, rich snobs, and to be honest, I agree with her. Several times, I convinced Gail to take her shopping for clothes when she was little, and she threw temper tantrum that still makes me shutter every time I remember them. Now, I just hire someone to do the shopping for her.

~*~*~ (that afternoon)

I drive up the long drive way to Neil's house and knock on the door three times. I want to have a talk with this boy.

The door opens up, and there Neil stands. It's just now that I get a chance to examine his features. His green eyes are warm, and his hair looks like it's been through the world's worse hurricane.

He's dressed in pajama's bottom and a white t-shirt.

Neil almost jumps when he sees me, and before I can say anything else, he grabs my shoulder, his voice has a certain type urgency to it.

"How's Phoebe? Is she ok? She's not answering any of my texts messages. Is she safe? Is she crying? You didn't hurt her right?" He asks, all in one breath.

I am beyond offended at his last question. "No, of course I didn't hurt her." I spit. "I took away her phone, that's why she's not answering your texts."

Neil relaxes after he hears this and quickly realizes how he was acting. He immediately straightens himself up and extends a hand. "I'm sorry, Mr. Grey. I was just really worried about Phoebe; I didn't mean the question to come out that way. Please, let's start over."

My lips turn up in a smile, and I hate to admit it, but I like Neil. He's responsible, polite, and the most important thing is he seems to genuinely care about Phoebe.

I grab his hand and give it a firm shake. "Ok, may I come in?"

Neil smiles and steps aside. "Of course, sir." My eyebrow raises in surprise at his formality, but I decide that it's a good thing he's so respectful.

There's a middle age woman in the kitchen, wiping the counter. "Jane, could you please give me a few moments alone with Mr. Grey, please?" Neil asks her kindly.

The lady looks up and flashes us a smile. "Ok, call me if you need something." She says, ruffling Neil's hair, and he sticks out his tongue. Maybe that's why his hair's so messy?

"That's Jane, our housekeeper. She helped paid my bail last night." Neil says, and I furrow my eyebrows.

"Neil, where are your parents? Why didn't they pay your bail?" I ask. I know I would pay the bail for Phoebe no matter how expensive.

Neil's eyes sadden, and he clears his throat. "Um…my dad past away when I was a little boy, and my mom, well my mom doesn't care." He shrugs, distracting himself as he pours me a cup of water.

I know this must be a painful subject for him, and I don't want to over-step things, but my curiosity gets the better of me.

"Neil…I'm sure your mother does care, perhaps she's just busy?" I push a little, against better judgement.

Neil scoffs. "Yeah, she's busy alright. So much so that she never comes home on the holidays, so much so that she doesn't even call after she learns I was thrown in jail." Neil's voice is bitter, and I'm a little taken aback.

"I'm sorry." I finally say.

Neil shrugs. "It's ok. I'm used to being alone, plus I have Jane. She's like my big sister. I know she's older, but she's a kid at heart." He grins.

He hands me my water. "Ok, enough of this shit about me, I think you came here to talk about something else." He says, and I see a hint of a knowing smile.

"You're right, I did." I nod. He gestures for me to go on, relaxing against the counter.

 _Geeze, this kid really isn't intimidated by me._

"I talked to the judge. He's going to let you off with a warning, considering you took responsibility for what you did, and you saved Phoebe." I say.

It's now Neil's turn to look surprised. "Mr. Grey…I…I…well…thank you, sir." He stutters, green eyes wide.

I crack a smile. "And thank you for saving Phoebe. I…I don't know what I would do if…" I can't finish my sentence.

Neil softly shakes his head. "Mr. Grey…really, anyone would do the same, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't. Really, please don't thank me for that, it's my fault Phoebe was in danger anyway." He explains.

I am beginning to like this kid more and more. "regardless, I just wanted to say Thank you, and I'm sure Phoebe thinks the same, although she can't text you because I confiscated her phone." I smirk a bit.

Neil quirks his eyebrow. "I'd hate to have you as my dad. Jesus, you sound strict." He says. His tone is teasing, and I wonder if he takes to everyone this easily.

"Well, what Phoebe did was extremely reckless. I just want to protect her." I defend myself, hearing the anger seep through my voice.

Neil raises his hands in surrender. "I didn't mean for that to be offensive, Mr. Grey. I was just joking. It's actually super sweet that you care about Phoebe so much. It's quite obvious, you know. That must be a nice feeling, and I know Phoebe adores you. She talks about you sometimes. It's really cute." Neil explains, scrunching up his nose. His shoulders sag a little bit. "I wish someone did that for me." he adds the last part quietly. I don't think I was meant to hear it, but I did.

I purse my lips, contemplating something. "Neil, why don't you come for dinner tonight? You can invite Jane also."

 _I know, I know…I said that Phoebe wasn't allow to see her friends, and I certainly didn't want her to see Neil, but…Ugh! Why is parenthood so damn frustrating? Plus, all I said was she wasn't allowed to go out with her friends, I never said anything about her friends not being allowed to come over. So, technically, I'm not going back on my own words._

Neil doesn't hide his surprise as his mouth drops open. "Um…Mr. Grey…Thank you. It would be a pleasure." He says.

"I'll tell Jane to take the night off. She works way too much, and yesterday I gave her a fright." Neil adds, smiling apologetically as he scurries off to find Jane.

He comes back, dressed in black jeans and a sea-hawk sweatshirt. We walk to my car, and I put on a classical CD. As soon as the soft melody starts to sound through the car, Neil smiles.

"Nocturne in C sharp minor, by Chopin." He states.

"You listen to classical music?" I ask.

Neil shakes his head. "No, but my dad did. He'd use to ramble on about all these musicians, and Chopin just happened to be his favorite. I haven't listened to this since I was 10."

Neil shakes his head as if ridding bad memories, and I keep my eyes on the road. It's obvious Neil was close to his father. It makes sense also, since it seems like his mother hates him. The reason, however, is beyond me. Who neglects their own kid?

I know the crack-whore did, but that's because she was on drugs. And I doubt Neil's mom is a crack-whore.

"Neil…" I decide to try my luck. "I don't want to sound rude, but did something happen to your Mom?" I ask cautiously.

 _Fucking hell Grey, are you really going to have a conversation about mothers neglecting their own kids with your daughter's future boyfriend? Where's the emotionless CEO?_

Neil thinks for a bit, green eyes staring out the window, and he looks deep in thought.

I was about to drop the subject, but then he surprises me when he says. "My mom never liked me. I came unexpected. She didn't nor did she ever want kids, but I happened anyway. My father wouldn't allow her to abort me." Neil shakes his head.

 _Holy shit, this is dark._

"Anyway, I happened, and my dad absolutely adored me. I don't think it was possible for him to love me anymore. He gave me the world. My mom, however, did not see it this way. She always said that I took her husband away from her. I guess my dad didn't have enough attention to give to the both of us, and it was her or me. Now, don't get me wrong or anything, my mother has fulfilled her duty as a mother, even though it was by obligation alone. She never abused me or anything. She provided for me, even after dad died. I just think it's easier for her to throw herself in her work than to bother with me. That's why she hired Jane, so she wouldn't have to deal with me herself."

Neil finishes and looks at me. I am silent for a moment, observing this boy.

"Neglect is a form of abuse also." I finally say.

Neil shrugs. "Maybe, I don't know. I suppose she could've done a lot worse, but she didn't. And for that, I am thankful. I still think, maybe somewhere, she cares for me, even if it's just the tinniest bit. I'm going to college next year though, and she can finally wash her hands of me, so I suppose it's just a silly thought."

"It's not silly." I whisper softly. Neil shrugs again.

"You know I use to think the same thing." Neil's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

 _Here it goes…._

"My mother, or more specifically, my birth mother was high on drugs 90% of the time. She couldn't care for herself, much less me. She had…pimps." I have to swallow to continue. "They use to beat me and burn me. I was four years old, and she just watched." Neil gasps.

"Mr. Grey…you don't have to." He starts, but I hold up my hand to stop him, and he quiets down. "I held resentment towards her for the better part of my life, blaming her for what happened, hating myself for thinking she cared. And it wasn't until Ana, my girlfriend, who helped me to see that this wasn't true. That she had her own world of pain to deal with. I think every mother cares for their child."

Neil becomes silent, once again, and then, out of nowhere, he chuckles.

"You know, Mr. Grey, this was the deepest conversation I had with anyone, and no offense, but you were pretty much the last person on my list."

I crack a smile. "Touché."

By this time, Nocturne has faded away, and we arrive at Escala.

 **Neil:**

What. The. Fuck.

Did I really just talk to Christian fucking Grey, the father of the girl I want to date, about my issues with my mom, and he told me something similar?

We're riding the elevator up, and I risk a sneak glance at him. He has his impassive mask back on, but his grey eyes are warm.

 _It's funny how you never know people, the real them._

His smile reminds me of my dad, all understanding and kind. He's really not that scary. I get that he can be ruthless sometimes, but once you get past the cold exterior, you realize what a good person he is. I'm glad Phoebe has him.

He looks my way and smiles. I smile back, and the elevator opens.

In the doorway, I see the most beautiful goddess. She has her arms crossed, and sass is clearly shown on her face.

She startles when she sees me, her face smoothing out. I flash her my best smile.

"Hi Phoebe."

"Hi…Neil. Dad…why is Neil here?" she turns to her father, confusion etched in her face.

Mr. Grey shrugs. "I invited him over for dinner." He explains as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

Phoebe gives him an incredulous look. "You. You invited Neil over…for dinner? Am I'm missing something?"

Mr. Grey goes and kisses her temple. "I don't think there's anything wrong with it, ask Neil." He says.

"Yeah, is there something wrong Phoebe?" I decide to play along. Mr. Grey smirks.

"And you're also telling me that you drove him here without scaring him to death."

"Yep." Mr. Grey says, popping the p.

We eat dinner in light hearted conversation. Gail's cooking is on the same level as Jane's, but Phoebe keeps looking at us as if making sure we didn't rip off each other's head.

"Come on, Phoebe, I am not going to kill your boyfriend." Mr. Grey finally declares, exasperated.

"Dad! He's not my boyfriend." Phoebe counters, although her cheeks are bright red and it's fucking adorable.

Mr. Grey rolls his eyes. "oh, for heaven's sakes. I'm old, not blind." He mutters, and Phoebe shoots me a look, her grey eyes are frightened but I also see the excitement shinning in their grey depths.

I decide this is the best time to ask. I like Phoebe, and she likes me. It couldn't be more perfect.

"Phoebe." I clear my throat. "May I have the honor of asking you to be my girlfriend?" I internally cross my fingers.

Mr. Grey watches us. I can't determine if he's happy, bitter, or angry. It could be a combination of all three.

Phoebe looks at her father hopefully, and he gives her a nod, his face morphing into a small smile.

She gingerly slides her hand into mine.

After dinner, Mr. Grey takes me back. Phoebe tried to convince him to take her also, but he wasn't having it.

The car ride back is silent, although not necessarily uncomfortable.

Mr. Grey opens his mouth but closes it again. Finally, he says. "Neil, I know we have established a good beginning, and I trust that you're a good kid. But mark my words, if you ever hurt my Phoebe…" he leaves the promising threat unfinished, opening it to any possibilities. His voice has a chilling-conviction to it, and I don't doubt him for a second.

"Dully noted. And I just want to add sir, I will never hurt Phoebe. I adore her." I answer.

Mr. Grey nods. "I also want you to be patient with her. Not that long ago, Phoebe has been badly hurt. I am not going to say what happened, as it's not my place. If she wants to, she'll tell you herself. I'm going to be honest though, I'm not the best of fathers. I have been busy a lot during Phoebe's youth. I am, however, trying to make up for it now. I want to teach her how to love and receive love, and all that I ask of you is that you continue the lesson."

I can only nod. "I'll try my best, sir."

Mr. Grey lips quirk up into a smile. "You can call me Christian."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16-Unexpected Love**

 **Phoebe** :

Dad knocks and peeks his head in the library where I'm sprawled out on the sofa, reading a book. "Hey sweet pea, you have a visitor." He informs me. His grey eyes twinkle, indicating he's hiding something.

The door opens up, and Neil's standing there with his all-American-boy grin.

"I thought you might want a little company." Neil says, his smile is somehow cheeky and heart-melting at the same time.

Before I can think, I scramble up and bury myself in his open arms, causing him to drop his small bouquet of roses.

He lightly kisses my hair. "Hi sweetheart, still hanging in there?" he asks, referring my unfortunate imprisonment in my own house as I relish in the smell of his spicy cologne mixed with mint.

Dad chuckles while ruffling my hair. "She's hanging in there, although I'd say one more trip to the boutique, and she's going to expire. Right Phoebe?" He asks, giving me a wink.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. We both know how much I hate working at that god-forbidden retail store with snobby girls who think the world revolves around them.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." I mumble, tugging Neil to snuggle up on the couch with me. I'm still not allowed to watch TV, which sucks.

Dad casts us both a warning look before leaving. Neil is, of course, the big spoon, and he situates himself behind me as we both watch the lazy, Seattle rain. I gaze up and give him an innocent smile. He smiles back and leans down to kiss me. His hand cups my chin as our tongues twist together.

I close my eyes, allowing myself to be pulled into his arms. He deepens the kiss, and I feel the familiar moisture in my panties, but this time I also feel something firm pressing between my thighs. My arousal instantly vanishes.

No, no, no…I can't do that. The very thought of sex terrifies me. All I can think about is how much it hurts.

Neil seems to sense my sudden change in mood and breaks our kiss. He's panting, green eyes wide.

"Did…did I do something wrong?" He asks, his voice is unsteady, and he looks so lost and worried that my heart physically aches.

"No, no…you silly." I assure him, dragging him back down on the couch with me. "Don't think about it. It's just something personal." I say, still trying to seduce him with my innocent smile.

Neil frowns. "Phoebe…you can talk to me, you know this, right?." he asks, rubbing small circles on my back.

 _Oh no, is he going to be like Dad? Why can't they just let me forget?_

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…." I mumble, cuddling into him. And my plan works when he sighs, dropping the matter.

Being cradled in his arms, I fall into an uneven sleep.

I'm awaken by someone lightly shaking me and loudly whispering my name.

Neil's bent over me. His hands are on my shoulders, and his clear, green eyes burn bright with concern.

"Phoebe…Phoebe…are you ok?" he hoarsely whispers, still shaking me.

I sit up, feeling my sweat-drenched shirt. "What happened?" I ask, looking around me. The library is still, the afternoon sun glimmering across the wooden floorboards.

Neil pulls me into his strong arms. "You had a nightmare…a bad one." He says, rocking me from side to side.

I shake my head, once again. "That's weird…I don't remember anything." I say, and it's the truth. My nightmares are usually vivid, and I usually scream and kick.

Neil hugs me tighter. "You weren't screaming or anything, but you kept on whispering the word Red…like it was some sort of mantra or something." I freeze.

"Uh…uh…." I stutter. Neil continues to rock me. "Phoebe…can you tell me why?" he asks, stroking my face.

I hide my head in his neck, trying to soak up all of his comfort and feeling very small.

I know Neil's frowning but he doesn't loosen his arms "Why won't you let me in?" He sadly murmurs.

I turn so I'm straddling him. "I'm sorry…it's just…it's too dark…" I break down into sobs, and he tries to calm me, stroking my back. "Ssssh…Ssssh…it's ok." He says, cradling my head as I cling to him.

As I lay on Neil, I think about Dr. Schwab's words.

 _Phoebe, you need to open up. If you won't talk to me, then talk to someone else, someone you trust. Whether that's your dad, your friends, your teacher, or whomever. Phoebe, it's not good to bury secrets, they'll only eat you alive…_

I look into the beautiful green eyes smiling down at me.

 _But what if he leaves me after I tell him? I think that will finally break me._

Neil somehow reads my thought. "Phoebe, tell me, tell me what happened." He gently demands.

I know it's wrong to lead him on, letting him think that I'm not broken, that I'm whole. I'm just prolonging both of our suffering "Do…do you know about BDSM?" I finally ask, my voice barely audible.

Neil knits his eyebrows together. "Yeah…I have heard about it. Why?" he asks.

So for the next half hour, between my tears and hiccups, I tell him what happened.

Neil doesn't say anything, just holds me tightly.

When I finish, my eyes are puffy, and I'm exhausted from crying.

Neil gently kisses my tear-stained cheek, and I am coaxed into a much more peaceful slumber.

 **Christian:**

Ana's watching TV under the blankets on the couch as I run my hands through her long locks.

"Hmmmm…" she moans, shoving more popcorn in her mouth, and I chuckle. She's been so hungry lately, although I'm not sure why.

"You stay right here. I'm going to go check on Phoebe. Ok?" I ask, leaning down to kiss her. Ana nods, eyes still fixed on the movie while eating, yet more, popcorn.

I shake my head, amused, before heading to the library.

I creak open the door, and find Phoebe fast asleep encircled in Neil's arm. It's not until I'm closer that I notice the tear streaks running down her face.

I feel my own gaze harden and turn to Neil who's holding Phoebe.

 _What the fuck did he do? Why was Phoebe crying?_

"Phoebe told me." Neil whispers before I can demand what the hell happened.

I stop mid-foot. "oh." I whisper back.

Neil rubs his hand up and down Phoebe's back, although she's asleep, and makes the shush sign with his fingers. I nod, smiling slightly.

Neil adjusts Phoebe carefully as to not wake her and lifts her into his arms. He tries to conceal it, but he's struggling with Phoebe's weight as he staggers to his feet.

He gives me a kind of shameful smile, and I ruffle his hair before sliding Phoebe into me.

"I should really work out more." He says, hanging his head, as he follows me up the stairs to Phoebe's room

I chuckle. _This kid…what am I going to do with him?_

Out of the corner of my eyes, I catch a glimpse of the white roses he brought Phoebe.

I lay my daughter's sleeping form on her bed, and Neil tucks her in. I watch from the door way as Neil meticulously adjusts her fluffy white covers, making sure no part of her neck is exposed and lightly kissing her forehead.

I try not to let the innocent kiss bother me. I suppose that will come with time.

Just as Neil was about to slip out, Phoebe reaches out and grabs his hand.

"Stay, please stay." She murmurs in her sleep, and Neil shoots me a pleading look.

I sigh in frustration. _Seriously, he can't expect me to let him sleep in the same bed as Phoebe in my own house, right? What kind of father am I?_

Neil continues giving me his puppy dog eyes. I sigh in frustration once again. _Why the hell is having a teenage daughter so fucking hard?_

"Fine." I agree against all of my better, fatherly instincts, waving my hands around as if I lost my mind. Who knows? Maybe I did.

Neil's puppy dog eyes immediately change into a breath-taking smile, and I watch him as he gingerly crawls beside Phoebe. She hums something incoherent and lays her head on his chest.

I leave a crack open to Phoebe's room before going back to Ana.

She has fallen asleep on the sofa, a bowl of popcorn still in place. I gently shake her, and she stretches out her tired body.

"Do you want to watch another movie, or go to bed?" I ask. I swear, she's like having another kid sometimes.

"Hmmm, movie." She answers and tugs me down towards her.

We stay like that for another hour or so, watching some Christmas special. It was already December, and the streets of Seattle have been decked out in Santas and Reindeers.

I smile at the memory of Gail helping me set up Christmas the year Phoebe turned five. We had set out cookies for Santa, and Phoebe insisted that we needed to set out carrots for the Reindeers as well.

 _How else would Santa's reindeers have enough energy to fly around the world?_

Soon, the Christmas special is rolling to an end. "Come, go check on my daughter and her wayward boyfriend with me." I nudge Ana, and she sleepily replies.

We both tip toes up stairs, peeking our heads in Phoebe's room. The stream of light from the living room casts a dim glow behind us. Both kids are sound asleep. Phoebe's curled in Neil's body and his arm is thrown around her.

Ana and I both smile at each other, watching the two kids. Ana sighs, laying her head on me.

"You know, you really are a terrific dad." She says, and I wrap my arms around her.

"Oh, and why do you say that?" I tease, I know I'm fishing for compliments, but I really do want to know what she thinks.

A small smile plays her lips. "Well, first off, you are the kindest person I know. You do stuff for your kid even though it's tough for you. Like, look, you let Neil sleep with Phoebe because you know how happy it makes her. You're also becoming more of a father figure to Neil as well. The kid adores you. You have been so great with both of them. I'm so proud of you, more than you could ever know." She says, standing on her tippy toes and giving me a kiss.

 **Ana:**

I stare down at the little white stick with two straight, red lines in the middle and bury my head in my hands.

 _What have I done?_

The other day, I noticed my period was late, and at first I thought it was just late. But after a while, I noticed that I was hungry…and tired…like _all_ the time, and certain foods made me nauseous.

I thought taking this test would confirm my theory that I was just being silly, but how can I ignore the evidence confirming my very fear in my hands.

 _It's not that I don't trust Christian to be a terrific Dad. He has demonstrated he was capable, over and over again, with raising his beautiful daughter. But…Are we ready for kids? What if this is the end? What if this is goodbye?_

 _Was he pissed at Leila when she got pregnant? Was she afraid of his reaction? Is that why she never told him about Phoebe? Are we ready for another kid, even if our relationship doesn't work out?_

I look down at the pregnancy stick again. _What do I do?_

Unwillingly, I start to cry. Big hiccups escape my lips as I let the tears come. _Does Christian want this? What if he doesn't want me after this?_ These two thoughts make me cry harder.

I don't know how long, maybe 10 minutes later, I hear a knock on the bathroom door.

"Ana, Ana, Are you ok?" It's Phoebe.

I don't answer, trying to calm my sobs, but fail miserably.

"Ana, I'm coming in, ok?" Phoebe calls out, and I hear the unlocking of the door as she gently pushes it open.

"Ana, what happened?" She asks, crouching by me.

I shake my head, tears still streaming down my face, and show her the stick in my hands. I don't dare look at her. _What if Phoebe doesn't want a new sibling? I totally forgot about that._

Phoebe's silent for a moment, and then I feel her hugging me. "Ana, are you pregnant?" she asks. I nod my head, trying to force my tears to stop.

"Then what on earth are you crying about? You're going to be a fantastic mom, and Dad's going to be fantastic Dad." Phoebe's voice is confident, and I almost think she's laughing at my tears.

"Your…dad doesn't know…" I get out between breaths. Phoebe becomes quiet, stroking my back. "Ana, are you afraid of dad's reaction?" she asks softly, and I nod, hiccupping a little.

Phoebe smiles a gorgeous smile. "Oh, you silly girl…" she coos, helping me up, and wipes my tears. "Dad's going to be thrilled, trust me on this. I understand that he wasn't a family guy when you first met, and he certainly had some issues, but I think I managed to change that." She says, winking.

 _I wonder when Phoebe has become so grown up._

Then, out of the blue, she squeezes me tightly. "This is such good news; does this mean I get to be a big sister?" she squeals.

I laugh amidst my tears. "Yeah…I guess."

Phoebe helps me to the kitchen and pours me a warm cup of tea. She's so understanding and mature, even after everything she's been through.

We watch a movie on the couch to pass time while we wait for Christian to come home from his meeting. I was too nervous to concentrate and start to fidget the moment I hear the elevator ding.

Christian smiles his mega-watt smile, the one that makes me turn to goo. He leans over to kiss me, and I can't help but reciprocate.

"um…Dad, I think Ana has something she wants to tell you." Phoebe squeezes my hand.

Christian turns towards me. "Sure, what is it?" he asks, and his grey eyes twinkle.

"I…I…I think I'm pregnant." I whisper, looking down at my knotted hands. My voice is so small that I'm not sure he even heard me.

Christian freezes, still mid-way leaned over to kiss me. His whole body goes slack, and his face is blank.

Phoebe clears her throat, seeming nervous for the first time as well. "Dad…Dad?" she checks to see if he's even capable of responding.

Christian doesn't answer for another minute. His eyes are glassed over as he stares out into Seattle's skyline.

Tears well in my eyes. "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean it to...I…I…" I start to apologize, but before I can finish my sentence, I'm swept up in Christian's arms.

"Wait, you're pregnant? Are you sure?" He asks, his face breaks out into an all-out-breath-taking smile. This one is different from his megawatt smile, his eyes crinkling at the edges. He grins so hard that I'm sure his cheeks hurt.

"I'm going to be another Dad?" He can't stop the excitement from showing in his voice, and he twirls me around.

I nod timidly. "Yeah…Christian, aren't you mad…? I ask, still afraid to meet his gaze.

Christian gives me an incredulous look. "Mad? Why on earth I would be mad?" he asks, sounding exactly like Phoebe.

I blush madly, looking down. " I don't know…I…just thought that you…would…would be angry." I shrug.

Christian carefully sets me down on both feet. "Why would I be angry? I understand that the timing is not ideal, but I would love another kid. Of course, I would've liked to marry you first…" he trails off, stopping mid-sentence.

Phoebe leans back, an amused look on her face as she watches Christian try to explain himself.

"I mean…I've been wanting to marry you, but I didn't know if…if you wanted to…and you weren't meant to...find out this way. I was going to…do it on Christmas…since…the ring wasn't ready yet…" He looks sheepish, pleading at me with his own puppy dog eyes.

Phoebe lets out an exasperated sigh, rolling her own grey eyes. "Well, what are you waiting for Dad? Come on, you can't let Ana hang there." She says, sliding off one of her rings. She walks over to Christian, who's looking at her like she has grown six heads, and places her ring in his palm.

"Well, go on." She nudges him.

Christian drops to one knee, his hand holding up the tiny, silver gold ring Phoebe was wearing. "Anastasia…" he needs to swallow several times, and his eyes shown with unaltered pride. "I know I was a royal ass when you first met me, and that I had hurt you, badly. For that, I am eternally sorry. My first reaction was to run when we re-met at the gala, because I was afraid, afraid that you didn't love me anymore, but your proved me wrong, the way you always do." I think I catch a little smirk here. "I love you Anastasia Steele, even though I was too stubborn and stupid to admit it, but I loved you since the very first time you fell in my office. I love you. I'll never stop loving you. Will you please marry me?" He asks.

My tears are well beyond the point of return, and I fall into his arms. "Yes." Is all I get out, and suddenly, I'm kissing him, my hands tangling into his hair, and I taste my own tears on his lips.

We are interrupted by Phoebe making a stimulated gagging sound. "You know, there are children here right? So if you guys could keep like PG-13, that would be great." Her voice is sarcastic, but her smile tells the opposite.

Christian chuckles, tossing his coat over her head, and kisses me again.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17-Unexpected Strangers.**

 **Christian:**

I trail kisses down Ana's body, pausing by her stomach, and gently kiss her navel. I hear her mew with pleasure as I work my way down.

"Hmmm, Ms. Steele, you taste mighty fine." I hum, and she arches her back.

"Christian, please…" she begs, and I smirk.

"Now, now, now…who's the impatient one?" I tease and see Ana's eyes flare with that unique spark.

"If you don't enter me right now, I swear you will be the one taking the cold shower." Ana raises her eyebrow, and my smirk widens.

"Demanding little thing, aren't you?" I growl as I carefully slide into her, not wanting to hurt the baby.

"Christian, faster…please." She begins to pant, but I keep my thrusts slow and steady.

"I'm pregnant, not crippled." She finally shouts.

"Are you sure?" I ask, my arms shake as I try to restrain myself.

"For god's sake, yes!" Ana almost screams, and I think I hear a trace of irritation. She didn't have to ask twice as I slide into her once again.

We lay in the afterglow of our love making, and my hand's resting protectively over her stomach. "Do you want a boy or a girl?" Ana decides to ask, peeking up at me through her long lashes.

I smile back down. "I don't really have a preference, either one will be perfect. If we have a boy, I'd get to teach him how to ride a bike, fly a plane…" I go one, smiling to myself. "And if we have a girl, well, let's just say that the color of my hair is going to match my name."

Ana giggles, and I lean over to kiss her again. "Our baby's going to be perfect." I murmur in her ear.

Ana kisses me and looks down at Phoebe's ring she still has on. I smile apologetically. "Sorry, the proposal wasn't very romantic." I say.

 _Gah, why couldn't I keep my fucking mouth shut?_

Ana shrugs, and I think I see a hint of a devious smile. "Mr. Grey, if I went only for the hearts and flowers, we wouldn't be getting married." She giggles, snuggling closer in my arms.

"Fair point well made, Mrs. Grey. But still…" I protest. Ana shushes me with her lips.

Her blue eyes sparkle when we finally pull apart, and we both lay there, lazily staring at each other, our eyes conveying what our words never can.

I stroke my hands down her cheek, and she leans into my touch. "You are so precious to me. Please be mine?" I ask, feeling my voice crack with emotion.

Ana squeezes my hand. "I'm already yours." She responds, and I pull her even closer to me so I'm smuggling her.

"Talking about that…When do you want to have the wedding?" I ask, waiting for her reaction.

Ana shrugs. "Oh, I don't really care. Soon, I guess." She says, her giggle bubbling up.

I want to propose an idea to her, but I'm not sure if she would accept it, and I don't want to stress her out.

Ana gazes up at me, reading my thoughts. "What is it, Christian?" she asks, softly.

I give her a guilty look. "I…I…would like to have the wedding before Christmas…." My voice is sheepish.

Ana's eyes widen, but she doesn't look angry. "Christmas? It's already December 5th though." She points out.

I sigh. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. But I would like to do it earlier in the pregnancy, and you're already one month along. I don't want you to stress about anything while you should be resting." I say. And it's true, this has been bothering me. I don't want Ana 4 months into her pregnancy, and worrying about her job (which I know she won't give up), and a wedding.

Ana smiles at me. "It's ok Christian, I'm not mad." Her words sooth me. "I would like to have it earlier too, but Christmas? Can we even organize a wedding in two weeks? And what about all the actual paper work?" We both smirk when she mentions paper work.

I smile, tracing the outline of her lips. "Well, first off, I already have all of the paperwork set up, all I need is your signature. And secondly, Mia can help us plan the wedding. The only problem is, if you want a big wedding, then we'll have to wait for Christmas."

Ana beams at me. "You really do think of everything, don't you, Mr. Grey?" she lightly teases. I nod, smiling also. "And I don't want a big wedding, just family and friends." She adds.

"Are you sure? We can do anything you want. Ana, I don't want you to give up your dream wedding just because I want to have it before Christmas." I confess, feeling guilty for shoving this whole thing on her.

Ana cuddles me. "Oh Christian, any wedding with you is a dream come true."

I allow a tear to roll down my cheek. Ana props herself up, gently kissing away the salty track.

"Hey…I thought you were happy." She coos, and I rub my misty eyes.

"I am, I just can't believe you're here, marrying me out of all people." My voice strains.

Ana cradles my body to hers. "Shhhh, I love you, so much." She whispers.

I lean up, tucking away the two strands of loose hair by her face, kissing her. "And I love you, Mrs. Grey."

 **(The next morning)**

"You what!" Mia screeches, and I cover Ana's ear.

I take a deep, calming breath. "Yes, Mia, Ana's pregnant, and we're getting married. We would like for you to plan our wedding before Christmas."

Mia crosses her arms. "That's impossible Christian, no wedding can be planned in two weeks, no matter how small."

I shrug my shoulders. "Well, if you can't do it, then I'll hire someone competent." I say, pretending to take out my phone.

Ana pinches my ass. "Be nice to your sister." She chastises.

"Don't worry, you'll see what I'm doing in a second." I tell her, winking.

Mia doesn't buy my act as she continues to cross her arms. I pretend to dial a random number, bringing the phone up to my mouth.

"Oh yes, is this Caroline? Yes, I'm calling about my wedding…" I go on, and before I can finish, Mia snaps my phone shut.

A sly smirk spreads across my face.

"Ugh, you win." She groans in frustration.

"I knew you would do it." I tell her, ruffling her perfect, black bob.

Mia swats my hand away. "Now, shoo shoo, I have a wedding to plan." She says, collectively pushing us both out the door.

 **Phoebe:**

Neil's with me in my bed. We're both looking out at the snow fluttering outside the window, and Neil gently kisses me.

"hmmm…" I hum, turning around and kissing him back. Again, I feel his erection pressing against my thigh, but I don't freak out. I know Neil won't try anything.

Neil and I have had a long talk about sex the other day. He even offered to come with me to one of my therapy sessions to discuss it with Dr. Schwab. He said he'll wait till I'm sure I'm ready, however long it might take.

Our kiss turns passionate, and I feel him gently tugging on my hair. I quietly moan, and my own body betrays me when my panties dampen.

I lace my hands through his hair and fall on top of him. We're both panting as we break apart.

Looking down at this boy, the boy with the wide smile and big heart, the boy with the sparkling green eyes, the boy who holds me when I cry myself to sleep, I know I never want to be with anyone else.

"Neil…" I mutter, and he smiles a reply, brushing away some of my messy hair.

"I…I…want to…you know…try…more…with you…" I stutter, fumbling over my words. Neil's green eyes widen.

"You mean sex?" He asks. His voice is soothing.

I nod, my ears turning red, and bury my head in his neck.

"Phoebe…babe…are you sure?" Neil questions, rubbing my back, and I nod once again, still too embarrassed to look up.

When I finally peek up, Neil's regarding me with concern. "Phoebe, are you sure?" He asks again, his voice is way more serious.

"Yeah…I'm sure. Just hurry up before dad comes home." I try joking. Neil furrows his eyebrows, a frown playing by his mouth.

He seems to make up his mind as he stands up, slightly towering over me. "Undress me." He commands, although his voice is still warm.

I don't know what he's trying to do or why he can't undress himself, but I tentatively sit up, my hands reaching for his shirt.

I grab the hem of his t-shirt and can't help but flex my fingers above his taunt muscle. Neil lifts his arm, and I pull the t-shirt over.

My breath wheezes when I take in the sight of all his muscles. I see a ripple travel across his shoulder blades as he rolls them.

"You ok?" he checks, and I quickly nod.

I stare down at his bulge, slightly hard against my stomach. My fingers fumble with the button as my wrists shakes.

 _Would it fit? How big is he? Would it hurt as much as before?_

I'm shaking so hard that I can't open the fucking button, and Neil does nothing to help me. Tears of irritation roll down my eyes.

Finally, a strong hand is placed over my trembling fingers, stilling them, as the other hand comes to wipe away an escaped tear on my chin.

I quickly glance up. Neil's smiling down at me. "Phoebe…you're not ready." He quietly states, slipping his shirt back on.

"Yes…I am…what do you mean? I…I…I am." I know I don't sound very convincing.

Neil shakes his head. "Baby, you're trembling, you're not ready, you can hardly look me in the eyes. You're scared and that's ok, but I don't want to have sex when you're scared, ok? I know you're trying to please me, but this is about you."

Realization hits me. "Is…is this why you made me undress you?" I ask.

Neil smiles again. "Yes, baby. I'm sorry if I scared you, but I had to make sure you were ready." He says, the twinkle returning to his eyes.

We both lay back down, scooting into each other's arm as if we rehearsed it. I smile to myself. "Not ready, huh?" I whisper.

I hear Neil make a deep humming noise. "Not ready, but really cute." He whispers back, and we both fall asleep.

I wake up to the sun streaming through my blinds and carefully untangle myself from Neil's limbs before slipping down stairs.

Dad's sipping his coffee. "Morning sweet pea." He greets.

I yawn. "Morning dad, any plans for today?" I ask, pouring myself a cup of coffee as well.

Dad shakes his head. "Not for me, Ana's going dress shopping with Mia. Did you know the groom's not allowed to see the bride in her dress before the wedding?" Dad asks, and he actually looks incredulous.

I let out a giggle. "Duh dad." I say, rolling my eyes at how upset he looks.

Dad continues pout, and it's a sight to behold. "Why do people come up with all these stupid rules?" He mutters more to himself.

I shake my head, amused. "Dad, it's tradition." I explain to him, but he's too stubborn.

Just as I finish my sentence, Neil comes jogging down the stairs. "Morning Phoebe, morning Christian." He greets us.

I stand on my tip toes and give him a kiss. He smiles back down, before going to slap dad on the back, who merely grunts his acknowledgement.

It's amazing how much Dad changed. He lets Neil sleep over most nights, and Neil calls him Christian instead of sir or Mr. Grey. They also watch football together. Who knew a Seahawk's game was their secret code? I know Neil adores my dad; he always says that he reminded him of his own dad.

Later on that day, Neil and I go to his house to pick up a few things. The first thing I notice is a black BMW parked in his driveway.

Neil immediately frowns, pulling me closer as we walk up the steps. I don't know what's going on, but I know one thing-whatever this is, it's not good.

 **Neil:**

Phoebe doesn't say anything as we walk up the stairs to my house. I take in a deep breath before opening the door.

"Mother." I say, my voice is ice as I greet the women sitting by the kitchen counter.

Phoebe looks between me and her, grey eyes wide. "Neil, you never told me about your mom." She whispers.

"There's no need. She's not a real mother." I say, not bothering to tune my voice down.

Phoebe gasps as the women I call mom turns her head. The first thing I notice is the heavy bags under her piercing green eyes.

She smiles at me, standing up, and walks over. "Neil, look at how much taller you've gotten, just like your dad." She says, although she looks so tired, sick even.

"Well, it's been a year." Again, you can hair the disdain in my voice.

She sighs. "Neil, you know I'm busy." She says, and I scoff. "Yeah, anyone could be busy. Phoebe's father is busy but he still makes time for her." I bite back, ignoring Phoebe tugging at my sleeves.

My mom tries to smile as she turns to Phoebe. "And what's your name, sweetie?" she asks.

I pull Phoebe closer; I don't want my mom making friends with her. Phoebe pinches me and extends her hand. "I'm Phoebe, mam." She says, politely.

Mom's smile widens. "No need for formalities, you can call me Audrey." She says. Phoebe smiles back. "Ok, Audrey."

"Mom, cut your bull-shit." I finally say, rolling my eyes.

"Neil!" Phoebe scolds, pinching me harder.

My mom immediately sooths her. "It's ok sweetie, Neil has a right to be mad." She says, sighing and turning back to the kitchen counter.

Watching her figure, I notice the grey hair intermixed with the shiny brown. For some weird reason, she seems older, smaller. Her slumped shoulders are still the exact same way when dad died.

Guilt pinches me. Perhaps I shouldn't have been so harsh. She still took care of me, at least financially.

"Come on, let's go." I start dragging Phoebe out the door, but she stubbornly refuses.

"No, Neil. You should stay and talk with her. I know you don't want to, and I get it. But please? She looks like she needs someone to talk to, and you're always so eager to help anybody. Why not her?" Phoebe pleads, biting her lip in the that way I can't refuse.

"Fine." I grumble, stepping back in and closing the door.

 **A/n-Yes? No?**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: I didn't edit this very much, so I apologize for any grammar mistakes in advance ;)**

 **Chapter 18-A Happy Time**

 **Neil:**

I step back in my house with Phoebe, and she squeezes my hand. My mother turns back to look at us, a sad smile by her lips.

"It's ok Neil, go and have fun with Phoebe." She says, her shoulders slumping even further.

I roll my eyes and pull Phoebe into the spacious kitchen. I gently lay my hand on mom's shoulder, but just as quickly, withdraw it. She's skin and bones.

 _Why the fuck is she so skinny?_

I sigh at the thought. Mom use to be the best mom when Dad was alive, her green eyes would sparkle, and the smell of baked cookies would waft from the kitchen.

"You go and sit with Phoebe. I'll go get drinks. Do you still want coffee?" I ask.

Mom nods, rubbing her hands against her shirt, a nervous habit.

Phoebe leads her over to the couch, and I watch them talk for a minute.

I get the coffee, extra dark, and Pepsi for Phoebe before heading back. I hand them both their drinks.

"Thank you." Mom whispers, her voice is barely audible.

I give her a tight smile. "You know; you should really get more sleep instead of loading up on caffeine." I light scold.

Mom shrugs her shoulder in that sad way.

 _Damn it, why does she seem so ill._

"Mom…is everything alright?" I finally ask.

Mom shakes her head. "No, no, everything's just fine." She says, although I don't believe her, not even for a second.

I roll my eyes for the umpteenth time. "Mom, please don't lie to me. I can tell something's wrong. For one, you weren't supposed to come home till after Christmas." I point out the obvious.

Mom lowers her green eyes. "I…I…wanted to see you…" she whispers, and my heart tugs, but I ignore it.

"You can always see me, why now?" I continue to question.

Mom shrugs once again. "I…I don't know. I just wanted to…" she sounds afraid. She probably is kind of afraid that I'll flip or something.

I look at mom once again, her thick hair is thinner, her gorgeous skin seems dull, and her bright eyes are sunken in. Something's definitely wrong.

Suddenly, mom starts coughing all over the place, her chest heaving up and down. Phoebe pats her back while I rummage through the cupboards for cough drops. Not finding anything, I search her purse.

I pull out lipstick, pens, face wipes, crackers, papers, from the black hole before finding the mint flavored cough drops.

Just as I was about to toss the cough drops over, the first line of a crumpled paper from her purse catches my eye.

 _Diagnose:_

 _Pancreatic cancer, stage III._

I freeze as my vision blurs. For two full minutes, I just stand there, staring at the five words on the piece paper.

"Mom." I swallow several times, turning around to face her. I hold up the report.

She stops coughing by this time and looks up. I see her body go slack, her green eyes widening with sadness.

"Neil…" she says. Her voice is smaller than a mouse's.

"What is this?" I ask, feeling my voice shake.

Phoebe comes and helps me sit down. We're both on the couch, and I just stare into the blankness of the wall.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" I finally ask. I'm surprised by how calm my voice sounds.

Mom slowly shakes her head, green eyes still down casted.

"So you were planning on disappearing, leaving me without a heads up? Even after everything with dad?" My voice starts shaking.

"Neil…" Mom pleads, but I don't listen.

"You know what, you're right. You are a bad mom. I don't care. Go ahead, leave me. You were never here anyways." I spit.

I turn around and stalk to the kitchen, grasping the counter to stop myself from shaking.

 _Why wasn't she going to tell me. Surely I had a right to know. Even if she never wanted me, I still had a right to know._

I sink down on the kitchen floor and bury my face in my lap, too exhausted to fight with all of my demons.

After some time has passed, I feel a light hand on my back. The fingers are cold as they caress my neck.

"Neil, baby, please look at me."

I gaze up, finding my own green eyes staring at me. Mom's crouched by my side, and before I know it, I'm in her arms.

Mom hugs me with all of her strength, which to be honest, wasn't a lot, but it still feels good. I don't remember the last time mom hugged me like this, if she ever has. My arms also come around her, and I nuzzle my head in her hair.

"Just please remember, baby, I love you so, so much. I know it doesn't seem like it, but I do. I know I wasn't the best mom, and even though you weren't planned, I still love you, it's just…after... your dad…dad…died in that accident, I…I…couldn't."

I pull mom tighter against me. "it's ok, I miss dad too." I whisper to her and feel her warm, salty tears drip on my back.

"I love you so much…" she chokes.

When we both look up, Phoebe's staring at us. A small smile adorning her lips even though she has tears in her eyes.

She helps us both up and wipes my tears with her sleeves before handing mom several tissues.

"Why…why did you come home?" I ask again. _I need to know._

Mom lightly shakes her head. "I…I'm going in for surgery tomorrow, and…I…I wanted to see you, just in case…I…"

I freeze for the second time that day. "Surgery?" I ask, and mom nods, ever so slightly.

"I'm coming with you." I state. My voice leaves no room for arguments.

Mom nods, knowing I'm too stubborn to argue, and pulls me into another hug.

 **Phoebe:**

I'm sitting in the white waiting room, waiting for Neil. Audrey is in surgery today. A little girl is playing with the Barbie set next to me, and she tugs on my shirt.

"Do you want to play house?" she asks, staring at me with big, brown, puppy dog eyes.

I smile down at her. "Sure, who would you like to be?" I ask.

She hands me a small, child Barbie doll. "You can be the kid, and I'll be the mom." She states. I smile, nodding.

She picks a Barbie with long brunette hair, and hazel eyes. "Ok, it's time for bedtime." She says, moving her Barbie doll to mine.

I mimic a child's whining to the best of my abilities. "But mom, can't I play for 5 more minutes."

"No, Sarah, you need to go to bed now." She says in a fake, little, stern voice. I chuckle and put my doll to bed.

She has her Barbie lean over and kiss mine. "Goodnight baby." She says, and we continue to act out similar scenarios.

"Does your mom always kiss you good night?" She finally asks. I smile at her. "No, not really, I don't have a mom, but my dad does."

"oh." She says, shrugging. "I have a mom and a dad, they both kiss me goodnight." She says.

I ruffle her hair. "They must love you very much then." I say, and she nods.

"Yeah, but every parent loves their child, at least that's what my mom says." She responds.

As I continue to play with her, I notice that none of the adults in this room seems to be her parent. "Where's your mom?" I ask.

She points to the door. "My mom said she has a checkup. She told me to wait here with Carol." She says, changing the direction of her finger and pointing to the reception lady who waves and smiles at both of us.

"Who are you here with?" she asks in a return.

I force a sad smile. "I'm with my boyfriend. His mother's having surgery today." I say.

"Oh, I hope she gets better." She says, her little face all serious.

I sigh. "I hope so too." I whisper. I know Audrey's surgery is extremely risky because there's so much tissue that needs to be removed. She has tried chemo before, but the cancer only worsened, so surgery is her last option.

Just as I finished talking to her, a middle age lady comes back in and sees me talking with the little girl.

"Sarah, let's go, stop bothering people." She says, taking her hand and shooting me an apologetic smile.

I watch them walk out, hearing the mother whisper to little Sarah about no talking with strangers.

I sigh, and continue to wait, and wait...and wait. I think night starts to fall and I doze off in the chair until someone gently shakes me.

"Phoebe, Phoebe…" It's dad. He's crouched by me, sweeping away my messy fringe. When I explained Audrey's condition, he immediately had the best pancreatic cancer surgeon flown to Seattle. It was really cute, and Neil started to cry, only to be furthered embraced in a hug by my dad. I swear, even Taylor was chocked up.

I think on some deep level; Dad understands Neil better than anyone. Maybe somewhere in his heart, he wished he was able to save his mom as a helpless, little boy?

I look into dad's distressed grey eyes, shuddering at the thought of his childhood. Ana's also by him, and they're both rubbing my shoulder.

"Phoebe, baby…I got some dinner. Did Neil come out yet?" Dad asks.

I shake my head, feeling my eyes water. "Dad, I'm really worried, what if Neil's mom doesn't make it?"

Dad instantly shushes me, moving his hand to my hair. "Nonsense, of course she'll make it." I know he's just lying to make me feel better. It's been 6 hours already.

I look at the 2 boxes of dinner dad brought-one for me, and one for Neil. He also has a container of soup for Neil's mom if she wakes up. Hospital food tastes horrible.

Dad sets the food aside. "Do you want me to sit with you?" He asks. I nod. Dad and Ana both sit down, and we all wait.

I doze off again on Dad's shoulder, and before I know it. Someone's shaking me again. I blink open my sleepy eyes. Ana, Dad, and Neil are all smiling from face to face.

I sit up so fast that blood rushes to my head and for a second, I feel like fainting, but Neil catches me.

"It's ok Phoebe, she made it." Neil speaks, hugging me to him, and I squeeze him as hard as I can.

After Neil hugs me, he goes to hug dad who embraces him. "Thank you so much, Mr…I mean Christian." Neil corrects himself, and Dad grins.

We all head home since the ICU doesn't allow any more visits after 10pm. Neil collapses on my bed, and I carefully help undress him since he's already asleep, leaving him in his boxers and crawling besides him.

 **Christian:**

Audrey has gotten better in the past week. I went to see her with Neil yesterday. She started crying, mumbling incoherent thank-yous for taking care of Neil. I assured her it was no problem, which only made her cry harder.

Neil was also crying. _That kid_ , he says he doesn't love his mom, but he really does.

 _Just like you, Grey._

All kids love their moms.

But now, I'm standing outside of Grace's house, locked away from Ana. Tomorrow is our wedding, and my mom, as well as Mia, has insisted that I'm not allowed to see Ana tonight, which is complete bullshit if you ask me. I can see my wife if I damn well want to, but Grace has locked all the windows and doors. She also took away Ana's phone so she can't somehow contact me and sneak me in, so now I'm here, pacing outside of my parent's house.

I know Ana's in the Guest bedroom on the third floor with no windows since I already tried to climb in my window, only to be caught.

 _Stupid move._

However, I'm not one to give up. I'm seeing my wife tonight, traditions or no traditions. I sneak to the back of the house where Phoebe's staying. She's on the third floor as well but there's a window to her room.

I text her. **_Psss, Phoebe, look out your window._**

Not even a minute later, Phoebe's head comes peeking out the window. I swear, she's laughing at me.

My phone dings from her text. **_"What's the matter Dad?"_**

I nearly roll my eyes. _She knows exactly what the matter is._

" ** _Could you sneak me in? I want to see Ana."_** I text her back.

Phoebe reads my text from her window. She texts me back, smiling.

" ** _What's in it for me?"_**

I shake my head. _Damn, she really is my daughter, that little minx._

" ** _You can watch a month of TV, however much you want."_**

Phoebe's now openly laughing, I can see her grey eyes sparkling from the window as she throws her head back. She sends me another text.

" ** _Desperate much? Make that two months along with a bag of candy and you have yourself a deal."_**

 _Why didn't I hire my daughter to work for GEH?_

Smiling, I shoot her another text.

" ** _Deal."_**

Phoebe reads it, and my phone dings once again.

" ** _Ok, I'll wait till they're all asleep and let you in. It will probably be around 11:30."_**

I make an ok sign to her, and she waves from her window.

Now, I just need to wait till 11:30.

To kill time, I go to the mall, roaming around. Before I know what I'm doing, I bought the entire baby store. Who knew that children stuff could be so damn cute? I bought a pink little onesie that says _Daddy's girl_ over it, and then I bought the blue one that says _Daddy's boy._

Finally, the clock turns eleven, and I rush back to my parent's place, eager to see Ana. I think Taylor's convinced that I'm insane, but he follows me anyways with a slight shake of the head.

Keeping to her promise, I see Phoebe's head peering out at 11:30. "You know, sometimes you're the teenager." Phoebe whispers, but I clasp my hands over her mouth, afraid that someone will hear us. Grace will kill me if she found out.

We both tip toe upstairs, avoiding the spots in the stairs that makes the squeaking sound. _Is this how buglers feel like? Tip toeing around?_

We're halfway up the second flight of stairs when we hear someone walking down the hall. I pull Phoebe into the closet next to us and keep my hands over her mouth.

"Shhhh." I whisper, and she nods, grey eyes wide.

"Huh, I swore I heard something." The voice belongs to my darling, little sister Mia. We must've been too loud.

After a few beats of complete silence, I hear Mia's footsteps walking away, and I let out a breath of relief.

"This TV better be worth it, Geeze." Phoebe mutters to herself when we finally reach the third floor.

I give her a quick kiss good night and head to Ana's room. She's lying in bed, smiling her breathtaking smile.

I quietly close the door behind me and quickly crawl besides her, inhaling her scent. "I missed you, so much." I whisper.

Ana giggles. "It's only been 6 hours."

I grin, nuzzling her hair. "6 hours too long."

"You know, if your mom finds you here tomorrow. We're all dead meat, including Phoebe." Ana says, lazily tracing her fingers along my mouth.

I smile, smothering her towards me. "I'll set my alarm for 5, but all I want to do now is go to sleep with my beautiful wife."

Ana yawns. "sounds like a good idea." She says, snuggling into my chest and falling asleep.

In my tiredness, I forgot to turn on my alarm.

"Christian Trevelyan Grey!" A high pitch scream has me jolting up from my peaceful slumber. Ana startles up beside me also.

"What the…" I say, shielding my eyes from the sun streaming through the window.

When I slowly reopen my eyes. I see a very pissed Mia standing before us, she has her arms crossed.

 _Oh shit, this isn't good._

"Mia, calm down. Jesus, you're acting like I murdered someone." I mutter under my breath as Grace comes rushing in.

"What…hap…" She doesn't get to finish her sentence when she sees me. I cover Ana's ear.

"Christian! What did I say about…" She goes on, but Ana just giggles at me.

"You know; I think your family's not very happy with us at the moment." Ana says, trying to contain her ridiculous smile.

I was just about to respond when I feel someone pinching my ear, and the next thing I know, I'm being dragged up. "Oww, Mia, stop that right now." I try, but my sister just continues to drag me out the door.

Ana leaps out of bed and follows us, trying to un-pry Mia's hands off of me, but she has a vice grip. "Ow, Ow, Mia, I'll leave, I'll leave, Jesus, Ow." I whine and reach for Ana.

Ana scurries into my arms and I give her a quick kiss. "I can't wait to marry you." I whisper just before Mia shoves me out the door, smacking me harshly on the bum. Jesus, she has a mean swing.

"Ow." I complain one last time, rubbing both by butt and my ear.

Today, I'm getting married.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19-Happily Ever After**

 **Ana:**

Phoebe's eyes come peering behind my bedroom door, and she gives me a big smile.

"Dad wanted me to drop these off." She says, holding up my wedding shoes. They are a silvery white with straps crisscrossing over the ankle.

I smile and take the shoes, flipping them over, I notice Christian's delicate script on the sole of each shoe.

 _Baby, I can't wait to marry you._

 _Today, you become mine._

Tears are already threatening to spill out of my eyes. Phoebe comes over and hugs me.

"Now, now, no crying. Mia's going to kill you if you ruin your makeup." She jokes.

I give a half-smile, half-teary laugh.

Turning, I look at myself in the mirror once more. My hair is done in loose curls traveling down my back, and my white dress flows out. It is a tightfitting, short, cap sleeve dress with lace beading threaded on top, gathered by a silver sash in the middle, and the bottom flows out in layers of thin, silky material. I look like I just stepped out of one of the fairy-tale books I read as a little girl.

I hear a knock on the door, and Ray comes in.

"Ready, baby girl?" he asks, and I nod amidst my tears.

We head over to an old church, where the wedding is held. Mia, despite nearly chopping off Christian's balls for how little time she had to plan the wedding, really came through for us.

The pathway leading up to the church is lined with candles on each side, their fiery glow illuminating the dusk sky, and all the trees around us has strings of light dangling from their branches, transforming the world around me into this magical, fairy dust land.

Before entering the church, Ray and I sneak down to the reception area for a quick peak. Waiters dressed in black and white are running around with trays of Champaign and appetizers, getting everything ready.

In the middle of each table is a big bouche of white roses intermixed with red, and above us, glass chandeliers sparkle. Each seat has a purple napkin folded on a silver plate, and each chair has a satin white cloth draped across, but two chairs in the middle has the words _Mr & Mrs _embroidered on it.

Not wanting to get caught snooping, Ray and I hurry upstairs so I'm not late for my wedding.

The music starts, and I see Christian standing in front of the altar. He has his signature tie and enigmatic smile on, and his grey eyes shine with pure adoration.

It's all I can do to not run down the aisle.

When I reach the last step, the tip of my shoe catches the front of my dress, and I feel myself falling over, but instead of landing on the floor, I'm gathered in strong arms.

Christian's grey eyes crease and twinkle as he leans over and whispers in my ear. "Now, we wouldn't want you tripping on me again."

I give a little giggle despite the tears pouring down my face, and Christian gently wipes away an escaped drop on my chin while taking me into his arms.

My hand grasps his as we descend up the stairs to the altar with a smiling Pastor Bandura. We have mass with me squeezing Christian's hand the whole time and him tracing soothing circles on my knuckles.

Finally, it's time for the vows. Christian gives my hands one, last, hard squeeze before I speak. "C…Christian, love…" I can't continue because I'm chocking on my own sobs, Christian squeezes my hands once again. "Shhh…" He calms.

When I regain control of my breathing, I try starting again. "C…Christian, my love, when I first met you, you told me that you didn't have a heart, but Christian… _you_ have a bigger heart than anyone I have ever met, just ask me or Phoebe or Taylor or…your mom or Neil. Ask anyone, and they will tell you the same. And Christian, I promise to love, cherish, and protect your heart for the rest of my life, for better or for worse, for rich or poor, for sickness or health. I promise to cherish each and every moment I have with you, to be spontaneous, to be your biggest fan, to laugh and cry with you. _Forever, you are mine..."_

I don't even register what I'm saying, I'm just rambling. And I see Christian blink back tears, a red rim lining his beautiful, misty eyes. I reach out, and gently wipe away a tear.

Christian clears his throat and swallows. "Ana, sweetheart, _you_ say I have the biggest heart, but _you, you_ have the purest love. You kept on loving me despite… _everything,_ even when I royally fucked up and broke your love." At this point, our pastor squirms uncomfortably at Christian's vulgar language, but Christian just rolls his eyes and continues. "Ana, you loved not only me, but Phoebe as well." I look over at Phoebe who's also quietly sobbing. "And I promise to return that love, to love, cherish, and protect you and this little one forever." With that, Christian slowly bends down and softly kisses my hidden baby bump.

My tears are way past the point of return and I'm openly sobbing. Christian looks up, and his grey eyes are hooded. He stands back up and takes me in his arm.

We both answer _I do_ at the appropriate time. I'm not paying that much attention, all I can do is stare into my favorite pair of eyes shining with adoration and love.

"I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride."

Christian murmurs _"finally."_ under his breath and kisses me. I have no sense of time, of sense, of anything as I kiss him back with all the love and joy I can pour into this one kiss.

I don't know after how long, but Elliot finally clears his throat. "Guys? Guys?…that's for later…we have children in the audience."

Christian and I both laugh as we break apart, and he sweeps me into his strong arms, running down the aisle and out of the church.

 **Epilogue**

 _6 years later_

 **Phoebe:**

I am in the shower, hot water gushing over me, when the door cracks open. I see Neil, he's leaning against the counter, a devious smirk spread across his face. I crook my finger, and his smirk widens even more.

Neil strips as he saunters towards me, stepping under the shower head. I grin, running my hands over his sculpted abs as he bends down to kiss me.

"Miss me?" he hums in my ears, and I moan. Neil had finals today while I finished mine yesterday. He's in Harvard's MBA program while I'm finishing my M.D for psychiatry.

We both attended Harvard which my dad was overjoyed about. What he was not so overjoyed about was that I requested Neil to live with me. He, however, reluctantly agreed when I pleaded with him. I also think he threatened to chop off Neil's dick.

Neil gives me his best, boyish grin as he hooks my legs around him. Over the years, with lots of patience on Neil's side, the idea of sex no longer terrified me, and we started to try stuff.

Neil trails kisses from my ear to my collar bone, making me shiver.

"Please…" I silently beg as he thrusts into me.

"Ahhh…Phoebe…how are you…so…fucking…tight." Neil grits out as he pounds into me.

"Faster…I'm so…close…" I began to chant with him when I hear the outside door open. Neil and I both still immediately. _Who the fuck's in our house? Nobody has the key._

"Phoebe?"

 _Oh shit, it's Dad._

Neil and I give each other a look, both of our faces frozen in shock, and I can't help it, I start giggling, and Neil's face twists in wry amusement.

" _We're screwed_." He whispers while pulling out of me, and we both scramble out of the shower. Neil throws me a towel while furiously drying himself off.

"Phoebe? Neil? Are you guys home?" I hear Dad's footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Neil! Where the fuck are my clothes?" I hoarsely whisper. And then, I realize I left my clothes in my bedroom across the hallway. Neil seems to realize this too, and both of our eyes widen.

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck._

"Phoebe? Are you in here?" Dad knocks on the bathroom door, and I quickly hide behind the shower curtain as Neil swings the door open.

"Hey, Christian." He says, trying to sound cherry and nonchalant. I choke on a silent laugh.

"Oh hey, Neil, I didn't realize you were in there. Where's Phoebe?" Dad asks.

"Um…Phoebe is sleeping…yeah…um…I know it's noon….yeah…but finals can be very tiring. I'll go get her."

I hear Neil leave and knock on my bedroom door.

"Phoebe? Sweetheart? It's time to wake up. Your Dad is here." I need to cover my mouth from laughing out loud at Neil's acting skills.

"Hey, how about I get you something to drink." Neil says to dad, and soon I hear their footsteps leaving in the direction of the kitchen.

I cover myself as best I can with a towel and scurry to my room, but not before seeing Neil turn around and wink at me. I dress in the fastest speed I've ever dressed, pulling on jeans and throwing on a sweatshirt before heading back out.

"Hey Dad, it's very nice of you to drop by without a word." I say as I walk out, kissing him on the cheek.

Dad chuckles but quickly furrows his eyebrows when he brushes against my hair. "Phoebe, why is your hair wet?" he turns around and looks at Neil as well, both of us sporting wet hair, and I can practically hear his brain putting the pieces together.

"Um…my hair doesn't dry very well…it's still wet from last night." I hastily explain, hoping to placate him, but Dad just gives me a look that says.

" _Do you think I'm stupid?"_

I was about to further explain until someone rushes up and grabs my leg.

"Phoebe!" Teddy squeals, holding up his arms and wanting to be held. I toss him up. "Hey, Teddy bear. Did you miss me?" I ask, supporting him on my hips while smiling from face to face.

"Yes, tons and tons." Teddy answers, stretching out his arms the whole way to show me how much he missed me.

I smile back. "Yeah? Well, I missed you tons and tons as well." I say.

Neil also takes Teddy. "Hey buddy." Teddy immediately claps with joy. "Neil!" he screams, wiggling around in Neil's embrace who nuzzles his head against him.

Neil bounces Teddy up and down while talking to Christian. I hear Dad ask Neil about his mom who's recovering from yet another surgical operation, but she's on her way to recovery.

I go over to embrace Ana who's also smiling. "Hi Phoebe, sorry to interrupt your day. I told Christian to call, but he never listens." She says, slightly shaking her head.

I laugh. "It's no problem, although I really wish I had a heads up." We both laugh at this.

As it turns out, Dad had some business in Boston and decided to drop by, but Neil and I both agreed to come back for break anyways.

 **Neil:**

Phoebe has fallen asleep on the plane, and I carried her home, tucking her in while kissing her head.

When I head back out. Teddy's throwing a tantrum about going to bed, and Christian was trying his best "I am your father and you must obey me" look, which wasn't working very well, if I must say so myself.

I crouch by the little guy. "Hey Teddy, do you want me to read you a story?" I ask. Teddy momentarily stops crying and looks at me.

Finally, he nods, and I continue to speak in a hushed voice. "Well, if you want to hear a story, you'll need to start getting ready for bed, ok?" Teddy thinks about this for a while and then holds up 5 fingers.

"I want to hear 5 stories." He argues.

"2 stories." I counter.

"5." Teddy persists.

 _Oh Lord, this kid takes after his father._

"3 stories and you have a deal." I try my next highest offer which Teddy happily agrees to.

After tucking Teddy in, Christian and I sit on the couch.

I swallow nervously. There has been something on my mind, and I need to ask it. I clear my throat, and Mr. Grey shoots me a quizzical look.

"Everything ok, son?" he asks. We have become family over the past 6 years, but I'm still nervous.

"Mr. Grey." I decided for this occasion I need to address him properly. He briefly raises his eyebrows at my formality but doesn't say anything.

"Mr. Grey, you know I love Phoebe very, very much." Christian nods at this, seemingly considering my words.

"I…I would…like to ask for her hand in marriage." I squeeze this sentence all out in one breath. Christian doesn't look surprise as he briefly raises his eyebrows once again.

My heart picks up as each second ticks by, and Christian still doesn't answer, staring off into Seattle's light-lit skyline. Finally, he looks up and he's smiling a huge, face-shitting grin.

"I give you my blessing son, but remember, my threat still stands, if you dare hurt my baby girl…"

I don't wait for him to finish as I hug him. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, I will never hurt Phoebe, I love her more than life itself, thank you." I say, nearly knocking Christian over from how hard I'm hugging him.

Christian chuckles, ruffling my hair. "You're welcome. Now, get off of me." I immediately scramble off, smoothing down my shirt.

"I'm sorry, it's just…that went a lot better than I thought."

Christian chuckles, ruffling my hair one last time.

 _6 months later._

Phoebe's dressed in a beautiful, tight-fitting, silver lined wedding dress. Her right arm is wrapped around Christian as he walks her down the aisle.

He reaches me, and I shake his hand before taking Phoebe's. I lean over and whisper in Christian's ears. "I promise to take care of her, sir."

Christian smiles, slapping me on the back.

I look at Phoebe, tears glistening in her deep, grey eyes. "Last chance to run." I joke, and she laughs, throwing her long, copper curls back.

"Never." She whispers.

The ceremony went by in a blur, and I broke down crying in the middle of my vows. Phoebe squeezes my hand, and I somehow found the steel to carry through.

The reception was beautiful, thanks to Mia, and we all had a blast. Teddy was especially excited since he got to carry the rings.

I sweep Phoebe into my arms and onto the dance floor. Our favorite song _Stolen Dance_ is quietly playing in the background.

As the next song starts to play, Christian ambles over to Phoebe, taking her in his arms. She leans her head on his chest as he wraps his arms around her and lightly kisses her hair.

 _I almost forgot. The father and daughter dance._

The lyrics of the words softly seeps through the restaurant.

 _Sweet pea, apple of my eye_ _  
_ _Don't know when and I don't know why_ _  
_ _You're the only reason I keep on coming home_

 _Sweet pea, what's all this about?_ _  
_ _Don't get your way, all you do is fuss and pout_ _  
_ _You're the only reason I keep on coming home_

 _Unlike the Rock of Gibraltar_ _  
_ _I always seem to falter_ _  
_ _And the words just get in the way_ _  
_ _Oh, I know I'm gonna crumble_ _  
_ _I'm trying to stay humble_ _  
_ _But I never think before I say_

 _Sweet pea, keeper of my soul_ _  
_ _I know, sometimes, I'm out of control_ _  
_ _You're the only reason I keep on coming_ _  
_ _You're the only reason I keep on coming, yeah_ _  
_ _You're the only reason I keep on coming home_

Christian lightly sways Phoebe to the soft beat of the music, grey eyes matching grey. One has copper tuffs while the other has copper curls. Christian's hand is resting on Phoebe's back as he spins her out, causing her to giggle. Both of them are smiling, and their breathtaking smiles does exactly as describe.

The song _Sweet Pea_ slowly rolls to an end, and Christian presses another kiss to Phoebe's temple. "I love you, sweet pea." He whispers.

Phoebe throws her arms around Christian and whispers back. "I love you too, Dad."

Looking at them, I wonder if I would ever have a daughter…

 **The End**


End file.
